


Dorothy Isn't Here

by hawaiigal52



Category: Ugly Betty
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-27
Updated: 2013-09-27
Packaged: 2017-12-27 18:11:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 49,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/982042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawaiigal52/pseuds/hawaiigal52
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is set in Season 4....and will be taking our favorite couple out of New York and over the "Yellow Brick Road' to see the Wizard....maybe HE can help Daniel and Betty get together! And give Marc a heart, and Amanda a brain (just like Christina asked Santa!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ch 1-10

Title: Dorothy Isn't Here  
Category: TV Shows » Ugly Betty  
Author: Betty the Bonita  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: M  
Genre: Romance/Humor  
Published: 07-22-12, Updated: 08-07-12  
Chapters: 21, Words: 51,255  
________________________________________  
Chapter 1: Chapter 1  
________________________________________  
Dorothy Isn't Here  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ugly Betty!  
This is a somewhat modern-day fairy tale of sorts. Imagine Cinderella (with Daniel as the fairy god-father) meets Pretty Woman, meets Eric's new movie. How To Fall In Love (I swear, I had no idea; I've been working on this for weeks). But, the plot is a little similar, with Daniel acting as Betty's 'dating coach' a bit, perhaps. Anyway, here's the first installment. Please Review! Hope you like it.  
________________________________________  
After a bad day at work, Betty was ready to call it quits. It was Friday night and at seven-thirty, everyone else at Mode had long since left the building.  
She knew there was probably still one person there, though. Daniel had been working like crazy lately. It seemed that ever since Hilda and Bobby's wedding, and his parting of the ways with Trista, he had put all his energy into his job.  
She was happy to see him taking pride in his work, but she worried a bit that he hadn't been dating at all.  
Even though she was certainly not sorry to see the last of Trista, she did want Daniel to be happy. After all he had been through, he deserved some happiness, she thought.  
She walked past her old desk and sure enough, saw the light still on in Daniel's office. He lit up when he saw her, and looked at her strangely, like he was just realizing something, then smiled from ear to ear.  
"Betty! I'm so glad you're still here. Can you do me a big favor? I need your help right now. Can you come to Kansas with me?"  
"Kansas? What's in Kansas? Are we going to visit the Wizard of Oz or something?"  
He didn't laugh, "No, there's a big problem with this month's cover.  
We lost Mike Hilberg at the last minute, and if we don't convince him to honor his commitment to us and do the shoot his people already said he would do, well, we don't really have a plan B!  
This is all Wilhelmina's fault! She did her diva routine with Mike's publicist and now he's pissed off at her and he's taking it out on Mode.  
He claims there was a last minute 'change in Mike's schedule' that supposedly couldn't be helped. But we have all our publicity hyping up having him on the cover, the whole tough guy, action hero wearing Armani angle, you know?  
We're going to lose a hell of a lot of our biggest advertisers and a lot of good will with our readers if we don't deliver him now.  
So, I've got to go try and sweet talk him, and by-pass the publicist altogether if I can. But I've only got four days to track him down.  
He's out on some wilderness trek in a cabin, somewhere in the middle of nowhere right now, 'harnessing his chi' or playing with himself, whatever, I don't know.  
All I know is I've got to get him to agree to do that cover shoot as soon as possible. But I need you to come with me, Betty. Let's stop by your place so you can pack. Make sure and…wait a minute, I've got an idea. Come with me."  
She wasn't sure, but she could have sworn Daniel had been looking at her body in a way she had never seen him do before, Betty thought, blushing.  
She was puzzled as he grabbed her hand and took her to The Closet. "Daniel, what are we doing here?"  
"Uh, we're going to use all our assets to our greatest advantage."  
"What assets?"  
"Well, you, for one."  
"Me? Uh, what are you talking about?"  
Now he was making no secret that he was 'checking her out', looking her up and down.  
He smiled, "You know, Betty, you've got a lot better body than you let on. Let's find something that will actually show it off for a change, okay?"  
"Excuse me? Daniel! Why are you looking at me like that?"  
He finally smiled like she was used to seeing, before he had turned into all-work Daniel, but was still no nonsense. "Look, Betty, I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable or anything, but I need you to flirt with this guy and charm the pants off him."  
"Daniel! I'm NOT going to do that!"  
"Well, sorry, I didn't mean literally, Betty. Don't worry; I'm not trying to pimp you out here, I promise. Nobody expects you to sleep with the guy or anything.  
Just a little innocent flirting, okay? Combined with your cute Betty-like charm. Could you do that? For Mode? For me?"  
He was making her really nervous, putting his arm around her and doing his 'I'm so charming smile' that he sort of knew did 'literally charm the pants' off the ladies.  
Even though he had never really used it to his advantage on her before, it was not lost on Betty, either, she realized, her heart beating about ten thousand beats per minute right now. Was he still talking? She wasn't sure. She sort of felt as if she were having a panic attack, she thought. Her palms were a sweaty mess, and she was having trouble breathing. Yes, he was saying something…  
"I mean, if we were trying to land a female star for the cover I'd flirt with her, but Mike is a straight guy, so you're going to have to be my femme fatale!  
What do you say, Betty, are you game? Come on, get in there and try this on, and see if you like it, okay? Look, if you really don't feel comfortable I guess I could try and see if Amanda could come, it's just kind of weird between us now that she's dating my 'new brother', you know?  
Just try it on, please? Oh, and I like your glasses fine, Betty, but do you…have contacts?"  
"Yes. I just hate putting my fingers in my eyes. I guess I could try them, though. I suppose you expect me to wear heels, too?"  
"If you don't mind. Go, try the dress, Betty, I'll pick out some good shoes for you to go with it."  
Betty got behind the curtain, "You know you're probably one of the only straight men in New York that knows as much as you do about fashion, Daniel.  
It's no wonder you get a lot of dates. I suppose women like that you know about their clothes, well, as long as they have them on, anyway!"  
She couldn't believe he didn't give her a cute comeback to her teasing. She peaked out as she was trying on the dress he had picked out for her.  
She smiled at him, but he had a strange look she didn't recognize. She thought she knew all of Daniel's looks.  
"Hey, what's wrong?" She walked out turning for him to finish zipping her up. He zipped up her dress and twisted his lip, reminding her of one of his father's expressions she remembered seeing.  
"Nothing. I just…is that really still how you see me, Betty? Just as the guy who sleeps around? Am I always going to be Daniel Meade, man-whore to you?"  
"No, Daniel, of course not. I'm sorry. You know I was only kidding, right? I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything."  
He straightened his tie and smoothed down his jacket, shaking his head slightly,  
"It's fine, Betty. Okay, turn around, let's see how you look. Oh, here, try these."  
She looked at the shoes with intimidation, "Those are really high, Daniel. I've gotten better since Wilhelmina made me walk for a mile in hers, but remember I also ended up on crutches for almost a week, too!"  
He laughed, "Well, I'm sorry, but you're really short, Betty. You want the guy to at least see you." he teased.  
Betty was sort of thrown by how she felt when he was standing behind her, whispering in her ear.  
He grinned, handing her one of the shoes, "So, Cinderella, want to see if these fit? Size six, right? Man, you've got tiny feet."  
She rolled her eyes, "Yes. Thanks, Daniel. So? This dress is a little um…tighter than I'm used to wearing and shorter."  
"That's kind of the point, Betty. To get the guy to notice you. Look, I don't want to make you do this, or anything. If you're not comfortable, I understand.  
It's just that I only have a short window to try and charm this guy. You're really great at talking people into things. But, I'd kind of like to have uh…his attention to begin with, you know?"  
She rolled her eyes, "I understand, Daniel. I can't say I hate this dress. It's beautiful. You have great taste. But, it's just not my usual style, really."  
"No offense, Betty, but you sort of hide your um...assets. And like I said, in this situation, we need to take full advantage of them."  
She blushed, "Daniel!  
He gave her his sideways smile. "Wow! You look-really great, Betty. You should let me dress you more often! If I was Mike, I'd definitely hit on you."  
"Thanks, Daniel." She bit her lip, shyly. "Okay, should we stop by my place and then, you have to pack, too, right?"  
He thought for a minute, putting his hand up to his chin,  
"Why don't I call for you a separate car, and that way you can go pack at your place, and I'll pack at mine, and we'll just meet at the airport? I'll call your driver and tell him where the Meade jet is parked. And hey, Betty?" She nodded. He walked over to her and gave her a big hug.  
"Thanks a lot for agreeing to do this! I have a feeling you're going to be my ace, here." He kissed her on the cheek.  
"Sure, Daniel. No problem." She hurried off, trying desperately not to fall in the sky high heels, and not to let Daniel see her bright pink flush where he had kissed her cheek.  
________________________________________  
Chapter 2: Chapter 2  
________________________________________  
Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 2  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ugly Betty!  
I'm sure it's probably pretty obvious already, but everything is fairly canon here, with the exception of Betty's job offer from Mr. Dunne. We're assuming that never happened here. Yes, I've included my favorite teen a bit, as usual. I just love Justin! He's so talented. He sings (really well), dances, acts, and knows fashion inside out, in spite of the fashion-impairment of his aunt and his mom's questionable taste! Thanks as always for your reviews, and encouragement. I always appreciate those of you listing my stories on your favorites, or following them and definitely love getting kind reviews. Anyway, here's the 2nd installment. Hope you enjoy it!  
________________________________________  
Betty hurried home, calling Hilda's new number. She smiled, "Hey, Justin! Is your mom there?"  
"Nope. She and Bobby went out for dinner. What's up, AB?"  
Betty bit her lip, "I needed to borrow a few of her outfits for a little trip I'm going on with Daniel."  
"You two aren't really the same size, Aunt Betty. You're shorter with bigger uh…you know."  
"Yes, I know, Justin. But she has a few outfits that didn't really fit her. They're still a little shorter than I normally like, but she thinks they are too long on her and they well…I mean, they'd probably still be too tight on the top, I guess. Never mind. I'll see what I have."  
"Wait! Do you mean, you're willing to wear those three dresses that she made you try on that time and you got all blushy about how they were way too tight and short on you? The ones we all thought looked fantastic on you?"  
"Well, maybe. I've lost a few pounds since then, so I thought I might try them on again and see if they looked any better. But I don't have a lot of time. So, it's fine. Don't worry about it, Justin. Tell your mom I'll call her as soon as we get back."  
"Hang on, Aunt Betty. Austin's here. We're getting a cab. We'll be there right away with the dresses. Just go ahead and pack your black Gucci pants I got you and let's see, the one purple Dolce sweater I bought you for your birthday, and…."  
Betty listened with her eyebrows raised as her nephew proceeded to give her an acceptable list of 'the only half-way flattering clothes she owned' according to his opinion (mostly things he had given her, of course). She shook her head, but did as he said. The kid was a fashion savant, she admitted, smiling to herself.  
"Okay. Fine. Are you on your way?"  
"Yes. Austin already got the cab and I have all three dresses. Ooh, I'm excited for you, AB. What brought this on?  
I definitely noticed him staring at Mom's wedding, that's for sure. He couldn't take his eyes off you all night. It's sort of what inspired me to ask Austin to dance.  
It was very romantic, seeing you two dancing all night. You looked great that night. That green was a bit bright, but it worked with your skin tone and hair coloring.  
Okay, Austin just got the cab. We're on our way, AB. We should be there in about half an hour."  
Betty didn't have time to tell Justin this was only a business trip. She wasn't running away for the weekend with Daniel or anything romantic.  
Funny that he assumed that, she thought. She blushed, thinking about what Justin had said about Daniel not taking his eyes off her at Hilda's wedding. Was it true, she wondered?  
She hadn't really noticed. Okay, well maybe she had noticed him watching her a lot that night. But, she figured he just wasn't used to seeing her in a bridesmaid's dress or with so much makeup on or with her hair up or some combination of the above.  
She knew it probably had to be tough for Daniel to be at a wedding, period, since the last one he'd been to was his own, to Molly, less than a year earlier.  
She packed the things on Justin's list, as well as some lingerie, toothbrush, and a pair of jeans, and a few tee shirts, since Betty knew nothing about Kansas or where they were going.  
She took a deep breath and went into the bathroom to face her fears and try the contacts she had gotten months ago but so far had been too chicken to wear. Her buzzer went off and she called out, "Come in, it's open!"  
She heard her door open and went back to her task at hand. Her hands were shaking, but she finally got the stupid contacts in and she blinked then rinsed off her hands, to look up into the bathroom mirror.  
She gasped, not knowing what was the most shocking sight to her right now, her own reflection, without glasses, or the expression on Daniel's face behind her. He looked like he had seen something unbelievable.  
"Betty?"  
"Yeah, I finally got over my fear and got them in. What do you think?"  
He blinked, looking utterly shocked, "I think…you look amazing, Betty!"  
She reddened slightly and they just stood, staring at one another in the mirror for a few seconds that seemed to go on forever. Finally, Daniel cleared his throat.  
"You know, Betty, this is still New York. You really shouldn't leave your door unlocked. You could get raped or something."  
She rolled her eyes, "Daniel, you sound like my dad. I usually keep it locked, of course. I just knew you were coming over and Justin and Austin are on their way, too."  
"How come? We don't have a lot of time, Betty."  
"Don't worry, Daniel. They should be here any minute now. Justin's just bringing me a few outfits of his mom's that I thought might be more um…appropriate."  
"Oh? Hilda's, huh? Yeah, that might work. I grabbed a few other dresses from the Closet before I left, too. You can look and see if there's anything you like."  
"Hey! AB! We made it!"  
Betty and Daniel went out into her living room to see Justin panting, holding a bag with the dresses from his mother's closet.  
"Here I come to save the day, AB! Aunt Betty? Whoa! Love the new look! You so should wear that outfit and those contacts when you and Daniel, oh, hey, Daniel! So, where are you taking my Aunt Betty for your little get away?"  
"Kansas."  
"Kansas? Why?"  
"Yeah. It's this little log cabin out in the woods, on a lake, about an hour from Wichita."  
"Great! Okay. Sounds….relaxing, I guess. Very romantic." Justin thought to himself, rich people were really weird sometimes, but whatever. He was just glad Daniel and Betty were finally admitting their feelings to one another.  
"Well, you two have a really great time together. I'll be rooting for you both!"  
"Thanks, Justin. I'm sure your Aunt Betty won't let me down. She's never disappointed me before. I think she's going to be fantastic!  
I'm so glad she was willing to do this for me. I can always count on Betty. She looks fantastic, doesn't she?"  
Justin was nodding, somewhat surprised at the sudden change in his aunt's relationship with Daniel, but happy for her, "She sure does! Listen, you two have fun! I need to get back down to the cab. Austin's waiting for me.  
Have a good trip to um…Kansas! I guess you're saving Paris or Venice for the honeymoon, huh?" he shrugged as he left.  
"Honeymoon?" Daniel looked at Betty, but she just looked at him, shaking her head, "Kids! Come on, let's get going."  
They rushed down to the waiting town car and headed off to the airport to board the Meade jet.  
Betty looked at Daniel as they got comfortable. "Okay, so what's the game plan, Daniel?"  
"I'm not totally sure, Betty. I mean, technically, we have a written agreement with this guy, so we could go legal, and sue him for breach of contract or something, but that would take a long time, and it wouldn't solve our problem of this month's cover.  
Plus, it would just make us look bad in the public eye. Everybody loves this guy. He's mister hard-body, action hero. We don't want to piss off him or his fans, you know?  
No, this is really just a failure to communicate, you know? Between our very own wicked witch and Mike's publicist. They had some big ego blowout and now she refuses to back down, and the publicist won't let me talk to Mike directly, he just keeps putting me off.  
Mark was able to find out from his sources that the guy's off doing the Walden's Woods thing in the middle of nowhere-an hour from Wichita. I've got the directions, but…"  
"But what?"  
"Well, it's really off the beaten path. We're going to have to hike in there. There aren't any roads. Are you up for a hike in the woods?"  
"Are you? I don't remember you winning any scouting awards…well not any that you really deserved, anyway." She gave him a look.  
"No, you're right. I'm definitely not the outdoor type, but I do have a fancy GPS thing that is supposed to keep us from getting lost and help us locate the cabin.  
I've got the coordinates or latitude and longitude, you know. We'll see if this thing is worth what I paid for it, I guess.  
Anyway, enough people know where we're going, so if we don't contact anybody in a few days, they'll send out a search party for us." He grinned, but didn't look totally confident.  
Betty bit her lip and took a deep breath, "Okayyyy, Daniel. I guess I'm game if you are. A cabin in the middle of the woods in Kansas, the middle of the country, huh? Sounds….interesting. I've seen all of the guy's movies, how about you?"  
He shrugged, "Well, I've been to most of them probably, but you know, I took a date, so…no, I don't think I could pass a test about what they were really about, unfortunately."  
"I see. Well, I can tell you the first two were more comedies than anything. Then, with his breakout movie, "Manhunt', you know, the one where he was supposed to be the renegade cop, and he saved the day, he actually did some pretty decent acting in that.  
Maybe we could watch the DVD of it a little on the plane? Do you have a copy?  
I could point out the parts in case he brings up his own roles. He is an actor; I assume most movie stars are sort of in love with themselves, so he might expect us to be big fans or something."  
He shook his head. "Yeah. I have the movies. I picked them up. What would I do without you, Betty? You know everything, don't you?  
Not just about books or art, or music, either, you always seem to know about popular movies and local entertainment.  
You're sort of a modern Renaissance woman, aren't you? Is that because you learned such a wide variety of things from magazines?"  
She nodded, smiling "I guess so."  
He took her hand, "Thanks for this, Betty. I can always count on you to be there for me."  
"Of course, Daniel. That's what friends are for."  
"Yeah. Friends." He let go of her hand and put in the DVD, and leaned back to watch the movie, with Betty pointing out the significant parts.  
After a few hours, Daniel reclined back in his seat, "Oh, Betty, if you want to go ahead and change into your outdoor clothes, there's a little dressing room in the back.  
You might want to save your new glamorous look for once we get to the cabin. Let's see if we can handle the great outdoors as well as we do the big city!"  
She looked hesitant, but searched through her things and found the jeans and tee shirt she had packed.  
Daniel noticed her expression, "Betty, what's wrong? You're not afraid of the outdoors, are you? Just pretend we're in Central Park, only with more trees. Lots more trees."  
________________________________________  
Chapter 3: Chapter 3  
________________________________________  
Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 3  
Disclaimer: I don't own UB  
________________________________________  
"There aren't snakes, are there?" Betty had gone into the dressing area to change, but stuck her head out.  
He shrugged, "I don't know. Are you sure you want to know, Betty? Sometimes you're better off not freaking yourself out about everything that…never mind." He got out his laptop.  
"Who am I kidding? We both know you're going to want to know all about it. I'll look it up, okay?"  
When Betty came out, in her jeans, he teased, "Well, yeeha, missy. Don't you just look cuter than a…um…passle or gaggle of something. Sorry, I'm not very good with country talk!" they both laughed. He patted the seat for her to sit back down, showing her the information he had found,  
"Okay, so it says, there are about thirty-eight species of snakes found in Kansas, but only six are venomous and a danger to humans. See, that doesn't sound too bad."  
"Six? That's still pretty many, Daniel. And thirty-eight different kinds? How are we supposed to know if any of the thirty-eight species we might see are one of the six poisonous ones or not?"  
She looked scared. Daniel smiled at her, putting his hand on hers. "Well I don't claim to be an expert on snakes, Betty, but I think it's probably like any other animal, they're more scared of us and all, you know.  
Hey, it's just like the rats and cockroaches in the city, you know they're there, but you just sort of ignore them and they run and hide from us humans for the most part.  
We'll try really hard to avoid anything that moves or especially rattles or rustles, and keep moving, until we get to the cabin, okay? We'll be there in daytime, anyway, so we should be able to see anything moving around. Don't worry, we'll be fine."  
"Why? Because you have your fancy GPS? I don't think it has an anti-snake app, does it?"  
He laughed, "Okay, Betty. Make fun if you want to, but this thing will help us find the cabin Mike's in, and then you're going to be eating your words." He looked down at it.  
"Daniel, can you stop playing with that? I swear, you men and your little technological toys!"  
"It shouldn't take us all day to get there. It's supposed to only be about a three hour hike."  
"Yeah, sure, Daniel. Just like the S.S. Minnow was only on a three hour tour, too."  
He laughed, "Well, I don't think we're going to get stranded in the woods for as long as Gilligan, Betty. But just in case, I have my trusty coconut phone here.  
Let's try to think positively about that and just worry about how we're going to charm Mister Hilberg once we get there, okay? So, how about you tell me some ideas you have."  
"I don't know, Daniel. This is your plan. You're the expert when it comes to flirting, not me. You tell me what you want me to do or say."  
He rolled his eyes, "Well, yeah, but I don't usually flirt with guys, Betty."  
"No, but girls sure flirt with you enough."  
He shrugged, "I guess. What are you jealous?" he teased.  
"NO! I was just saying, if you expect me to be your little Mata hari or something, why don't you tell me what girls say to you that turns your head?  
In other words, what you think I can say to Mike that would get his attention."  
He thought a minute, "Hmmm…let's see. What do women say to me to get my attention? Honestly? I don't think I want you saying that kind of stuff to Mike. I told you I didn't want to pimp you out."  
"Seriously? You never have women who just flirt innocently without coming on to you?"  
He rolled his eyes at her, "Not really. I know, I'm hanging around the wrong kind of women. Don't give me the judgy look, Betty. I think I should get extra points for not taking them up on their offers lately, though, right?"  
"Yeah, poor Daniel! That must be really hard…I mean difficult for you to turn down all those women!"  
He laughed slightly at her sarcasm, "Yeah, as a matter of fact, it is!"  
She shook her head, and bit her lip, concentrating for a second, and put her hand on his chest, taking him by surprise, as she leaned forward, talking softly, in almost a whisper,  
"You know, Daniel, if you met a woman who made YOU do the work for a change, you'd see it was more of a challenge, and you might enjoy being the one who had to do the chasing!"  
She got close enough to his face that he backed away slightly, blinking, and opened his eyes wide.  
"Uh…huh?" he looked at her and tugged on his collar.  
She giggled, sitting back and looking out the window, "Was something like that okay?"  
He relaxed a bit, "Oh, I get it, that was um…you, pretending to talk to Mike? Yeah, that was pretty good, actually. You really had me going." He chuckled uneasily.  
She sighed, "But honestly, tell me your hints for how you think I should flirt with this guy. Let's hear how you think I can attract him, other than the usual Mode advice to lose twenty pounds or getting drunk and throwing myself at him like Amanda and lots of the girls at work do. No judgments, it's just…I'm not comfortable doing that."  
"Well, I don't know. I don't want to give you some to do list, Betty. Do what works for you. I mean, what did you say to flirt with Henry or Matt?"  
"Henry? God, I was so nervous all the time around him, and we were always sneaking around with all the stuff going on with Charlie, there wasn't really much flirting going on, I'm afraid.  
And Matt…well, he actually sort of chased me at first, and I pushed him away. Then, when it came time to get, you know, close, I practically threw myself at him before he admitted he was getting help for his sex addiction, remember?"  
"Wait, you told me about the sex addiction thing, but I don't remember you telling me that you threw yourself at him before he told you about it.  
I'm curious, what did that consist of?" He took a drink of his Scotch, his second to try and forget the fact that he hated flying.  
Betty was also on her second glass of wine, and he poured her a third, trying to read her expression. "What? Come on, Betty. You can tell me. What did you do?"  
She blushed, "Oh, just all these stupid things Marc and Amanda tried to 'teach me'. I felt so embarrassed and uncomfortable trying to seduce him like that.  
Especially when he ended up running away from me, because he was trying NOT to have sex. It made me feel totally you know, undesirable." She looked at her empty glass, and blushed.  
"Wow, I can't believe I just told you that. Sorry, oversharing, Daniel."  
"No, it's okay. I asked." He thought for a minute. "You know, I think it's more about what you don't say and this is coming from a guy's perspective here, Betty. But, the women I notice the most are the ones who are really confident.  
It doesn't matter what they say so much as the way they hold themselves and if they are comfortable with who they are. Those are the girls I notice.  
Then, if they give me lots of eye contact and let me know they, you know, see me, want me, it's just like there's this sort of unspoken conversation going on even before either of you opens your mouth to say anything."  
Betty was listening intently as he was talking, somewhat enrapt by his words.  
"Okay. So…let me see if I've got this straight. You're saying if some girl makes googly eyes at you from 'across a crowded room' that does it for you, and neither of you would necessarily have to say anything to each other, you would just go off and have sex without exchanging any information whatsoever?"  
He laughed, "Well, no, that's not what I meant really."  
"But? You have actually done that? With some woman somewhere? Let me guess, a foreign model who didn't speak English, right?"  
He shook his head, and took another drink, "God, it's really annoying how well you know me, Betty. I swear, I can't have any secrets from you! We might as well be an old married couple or something.  
Speaking of which, what exactly was Justin talking about earlier when he said something about us going on a honeymoon?"  
She blew out a breath, "Oh, that! He had it in his head that we were going off together on some kind of romantic weekend.  
I tried to tell him it was just for work before on the phone, but he had already hung up. Then, I knew we were in a hurry to get going, so I just figured I'd tell him later.  
I swear, I don't know how he even got confused. Justin's so dramatic sometimes. He was going on with all this stuff on the phone about how you were staring at me all night at Hilda's wedding or something."  
Daniel looked slightly embarrassed, as he stared down at his ice. "Oh. That. Yeah. I guess maybe I was. Sorry, Betty. I think I just was a little thrown seeing you like that. I didn't mean to stare."  
"It's okay. I guess it's a good thing I didn't know about your little theory about the eye contact thing then or I would have thought you were flirting with me or something."  
He smiled, "Yeah. Right. Well, I guess maybe I'll take a little nap. We've still got a few more hours before we land. You should try and get some sleep, too, Betty. You want to be your best to fight all those snakes!"  
"NOT funny, Daniel!"  
He laughed. "Goodnight, Betty."  
"Goodnight."  
After a few hours, Betty woke up, realizing she had fallen asleep on Daniel's shoulder, with his arm around her. She carefully extricated herself and went into the largest bathroom she'd ever seen on a plane to smooth her hair and freshen up in the regular sized sink. She pulled out her makeup bag and looked at herself in the mirror, somewhat surprised at the reflection she saw.  
She smiled at herself, thinking, I can do this. I can charm this guy. I can be charming. Remember what Daniel said, it's all in how you look at the guy. So she practiced trying to look as if she was flirting, but shook her head eventually, thinking, this is ridiculous. I can't flirt with myself!  
So, she walked back out and sat in the front of the plane, having grabbed Daniel's laptop. She read all she could about Mike's personal background. The guy must have had a really great publicist she thought; no wonder the guy didn't like Wilhelmina! Whoever he was, he did a fantastic job of making his client out to seem like some kind of cross between Mark Wahlberg and Jesus.  
According to the carefully worded press releases, Mike Hilberg was a thirty-five year old movie star, sexy action hero icon, whose fame was on the rise as fast as his boxy office draw would allow.  
He was a semi-active environmentalist, but not enough to be annoying (he still liked the occasional steak or hamburger, having grown up in Wichita).  
He was also a former military man, having served a four year stint in the air force, and returned honorably from Afghanistan five years ago, just before his sudden rise to stardom.  
He was an outdoorsman, who liked to fish and had grown up hunting, but didn't really like to kill animals. He was into hiking and kayaking, skiing, and had the best body Betty had seriously ever seen in her life.  
He was built, but didn't look over muscly-as she liked to call it. He had that sort of tough guy, manly handsome face. Deep brown eyes, sort of short, mildly spikey dark brown hair, gorgeous smile, dimples and a nice, square, manly jawline. Absolutely freaking gorgeous.  
Sure, Betty thought, I'm sure this guy's never had tons of beautiful women hitting on him before. I'm sure he'll be completely bowled over by a short, Latina woman just because she is wearing low-cut, tighter than she's used to dresses and high heels and recently got her adult braces off and contacts! She sighed, thinking Daniel must be really desperate if he thought she was his best hope to get to this guy.  
But then, she saw something on one of the 'in depth' interviews that caught her eye. It said Mike had lost his first love to cancer a few years ago. Betty noticed she was a short, Latina girl, cute but certainly no bombshell.  
She had been his high school sweetheart and they had been engaged when she was diagnosed. They had quickly married, and gone on a honeymoon, right after his first big movie success. But she died on the night of his premier.  
Betty looked to see Daniel stirring and looking at her curiously. "Hey, what are you doing up there? Is everything okay? Please don't tell me there are snakes on the plane!" he teased. "Should I call Samuel L. Jackson?"  
She gave him her biggest smile and made some serious eye contact with him. He looked back at her, somewhat perplexed. "Betty? Seriously, what's up? You look like you're Sylvester Cat and you just ate Tweety Bird or something. You're scaring me."  
"Daniel, I have an idea of how to get Mike on board with us. But believe me, I'm not your only asset, thank god! You're going to need to get really close to the guy, too."  
"Betty, I told you, the guy's straight as an arrow. I'm pretty sure that's not just publicity to cover him being in the closet.  
I'm not hitting on him, to coax him into outing himself or whatever. Just because you helped Marc and Justin come out, doesn't mean everybody's gay.  
Not every movie star is secretly gay. I know we're a dying breed, but believe me, there are still a few of us straight guys left out there. And I'm pretty sure Mike's one of us!"  
"No, Daniel, I don't think you should come onto him, just talk to the guy. You two have some kind of personal things in common. He just lost his wife a few years ago…to cancer."  
"Oh."  
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Chapter 4: Chapter 4  
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Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 4  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ugly Betty! (Qu'elle dommage! )  
"We're here, sir." The pilot announced.  
"Well, Betty, are you ready to face the great outdoors?"  
"As ready as I'll ever be, I guess. Maybe we should have some kind of protection out there."  
"You mean, like a weapon or something? To defend us against all the snakes?" he smiled slightly.  
"I know you're teasing me, but this is somewhere that you can't use your money to help you, Daniel. So…"  
"I know, Betty. I promise, I won't put us in any danger. I got us a guide. He's supposed to meet us here and help us get to the cabin. I know I'm out of my element here. I would never let anything happen to you, though. Trust me?"  
"I trust you, Daniel. I know I probably shouldn't sometimes. But I still do." He held out his hand for her and she took it, getting off the plane and stepping over to a waiting car.  
Betty looked around trying to take in her surroundings as they drove to the forest. Everything looked flat and there were lots of farms. It seemed like a foreign country to her.  
Where were the skyscrapers? Daniel had been right about one thing; there were definitely more trees here.  
Trees were fine. Just not snakes. Betty tried to smile back at Daniel, knowing she was probably just being a baby, but she was a Queens' girl. She didn't get scared riding the subway in New York, because she knew which areas to stay away from there.  
It was her turf, and she had learned to negotiate it carefully, successfully all her young life. But this felt like she was going into a jungle or something. She suddenly found herself wondering how Matt was doing.  
After a short ride to a forested area, they waited for the 'guide' Daniel had hired to come lead them safely through the woods and to Mike's cabin. They waited and waited, and waited, for over an hour. Finally, Daniel got a call that the man's wife had just given birth and he wouldn't be able to come, and no, sorry, he didn't know anyone else who could help them.  
"Okay, that's it then. I'm not taking you inside some wilderness without having somebody who knows there way around, Betty.  
I guess, we'll just have to drive back to Wichita and get a room for the night, while I see if Mark's connection can find us another person on Hilberg's staff that we can get to show us how to get to his cabin.  
We'll still have two days. Hopefully, that will be enough time to convince him to do our cover."  
"Daniel, does your fancy phone get good enough reception to work inside the forest?"  
"It claims it will. I don't know, though, Betty. I have never put it to the test, obviously, since there aren't too many forests in Manhattan. NO! I know what you're thinking, and there's no way I'm taking you into that forest alone. I'm man enough to admit I don't have the first clue how to get through it.  
I have no desire to become the Amelia Earhart of Fashion Editors, taking you with me for the ride into oblivion. Who knows, Bigfoot or the Chupacabra or something might be in there."  
"The Chupacabra is a myth, probably just coyotes with mange, and besides, it was only supposed to be in Latin American countries and the southern United States, not the Midwest. And Bigfoot, also a myth as you know, was in the Pacific Northwest."  
"Well, whatever's in Kansas, then."  
"The Wizard of Oz?"  
Daniel laughed, "Yeah, well, we both know Wilhelmina's the witch, so I guess we just need to see the wizard. But I'm sorry, Dorothy, this tin man isn't up to leading you through Oz without some professional backup."  
"Daniel, first of all, I think I'd cast you more as the Cowardly Lion right now. You're being a chicken. I thought you told me it was only a three hour hike and not to worry about the stupid snakes. That's really the only thing that concerns me. Do you have a gun or a knife or something?"  
"A gun? Are you nuts? Look, you can call me a chicken all you want, Betty. I'm not Hilberg. He's the action hero, not me. No, I don't carry a gun on me, sorry. And I don't think this is a good idea, so get it out of your head."  
"Well, I'm the one you drug here in the first place, Daniel. I'm ready to do this now. Let's get through the hills and over the woods and see if grandmother's house has a movie star hiding out in it."  
"It might have a big bad wolf!"  
She looked at him, narrowly, "Wow, you really are being a cowardly lion, Daniel. Come on, let's go do this! We're a good team. We can handle a little walk in the woods!"  
He shook his head, "God, you're stubborn. Fine, Betty! As usual, we'll do things your way. Let me just go on record that this is a very bad idea! Kevin, you know where you left us. If you don't hear from me in four hours, send out a search party, okay?"  
"Yes, Mister Meade."  
"Wait, Kevin. Do you have…a knife, by any chance?"  
Daniel's driver handed him a huge knife, as Betty and Daniel's eyes grew big, "Whoa! That's pretty big. Did you get mugged a lot in New York or something?"  
"Nope. Only once. I told the guy who mugged me to spread the word that anybody else who messed with me would come up against this, too. I never got bothered again. But you may need it more than me in there, sir. Good luck!"  
Daniel kept looking at the knife as they got out of the car. Betty pushed his hand down, "Daniel, stop playing with that, you're going to hurt yourself or something."  
He grinned like a kid and in his best 'Crocodile Dundee' accent he said, "Now THAT'S a KNIFE!" and chuckled at himself.  
"Seriously, Daniel? You're five! Put that thing away before you stab yourself."  
He was trying to figure where to stash the knife, but it kept falling out of his coat pocket. "I'm sorry, but I don't have a belt or whatever to put this thing in. Here, I know, put it in your purse, that's big."  
She rolled her eyes, "Fine! Give it to me."  
He took out a small, but powerful flashlight, shining it around. "I did get this, in case it gets dark before we get to the cabin. Let me test my cell phone reception here, before we go too far in the forest, too. I'll call Marc and see what he found out from his gay CIA on the inside of Hilberg's staff."  
"Gay CIA? I'm afraid to ask."  
He grinned, "I don't know. I was, too. That's just what Marc called it. I have no idea. Marc? Can you hear me? We're here. That stupid guide we hired bailed on us, though. He had a wife giving birth and that trumped our crisis, I'm afraid.  
Can you find somebody else in the area? Betty's insisting we go find him ourselves. I don't suppose you have anyone who could come meet us inside Hansel and Gretel's forest here?"  
Marc was saying rather loudly, "I have no idea, Donna Karan! I'm thinking hemlines should go up, of course, but you're the genius, darling." He then whispered, "Why are you calling me now? I had to go into the little boy's room to get out of earshot."  
"Yeah? Well, considering she's the cause of this whole problem in the first place, I really don't care if the Wicked Witch of Wilhelmina finds out Betty and I are here trying to clean up her mess, Marc.  
Listen; see if you can find someone else to come in and at least back us up in case we get off track or something."  
"You took Betty with you? Good idea. If a creature comes to eat you she'll be so filling, they'll leave you alone, Daniel."  
"I can hear you, Marc! Shut up!"  
"Hey, are you liking your natural habitat, Betty? I bet all the other woodland creatures are happy to see you there, where you were first hatched!"  
She grabbed Daniel's phone, "Marc, just see what you can find out, okay? Like Daniel said, your fearless diva is the one who caused this whole fiasco in the first place."  
"I know, I know. I tried to warn Daniel she had low blood sugar that afternoon. That's the only reason I'm helping you two in the first place. Well, that and I know this might get me an autographed picture of Mike tie me up, tie me down Hilberg. Make sure he spells my name right."  
"We have to find him, first. Can you still hear us okay?"  
"Yes, yes, I hear you, Betty. Stop shrieking."  
"I just want to make sure Daniel's phone is still getting a good signal in case we get lost. Mister Boy Scout here is depending on his expensive gadgets, so I pray they do what they say they'll do. Talk to you later. Oh, Marc, do me a big favor, please?"  
"Of course, Betty, because doing you and Daniel favors is what I live for!" What is it?"  
"Tell Justin Daniel and I are in Kansas on Mode business, please? For some crazy reason he seems to think we're off on a romantic getaway. Tell him he's mistaken. I know you two talk a lot."  
"I'm his mentor, Betty. Besides, the boy has taste. I can't imagine being related to you has been easy on the poor kid all these years, especially during the poncho, eyebrow and braces period! The poor boy has suffered enough!"  
"Goodbye, Marc. Let us know when you find someone to meet us in here, and talk to Justin for me."  
"Okay, Betty. Have a good time. Tell Daniel, I'll see what I can do."  
"MARC!"  
"Oh, hey, Willi. I didn't hear you walking up behind me."  
"What are you doing helping Daniel and Betty with anything?"  
He panicked, "Oh, they finally eloped, those crazy kids! Betty just wanted me to let her family know she was alive, but Daniel has finally surrendered to her begging and decided to whisk her off to get secretly married! That's where they are right now! Getting married."  
"Really? Well, I hate to admit it, but Betty has gotten marginally better in her taste recently.  
And he has definitely always been crazy about her. Of course, that's partially just because he is crazy, but…whatever! He probably also finally realized her brains are the only reason he's survived this long at Mode so he's grateful to her. We should do some kind of big news release. Use this to our advantage.  
Only make it look like a leak. That will get us enough good publicity to override this stupid nightmare with that nitwit publicist. Go, go flying monkey! Fly!" she smiled.  
He made a face and ran to go start making calls to Suzuki and others. "Oops. Oh, well."  
He called Amanda, "Hey, Mandy, Pandy! What's up?"  
"Nothing! I'm bored. I'm trying to get my business going, but all of daddy dearest's friends are old and sad. I need new, young, hot clients."  
"How about fairly young and very, very sexy and hot ones?"  
"Like who?"  
"Micheal Hilberg."  
"I thought the evil queen screwed up the cover for him?"  
"She did. But I'm actually working with Daniel and Betty to try and get him back on Mode. I hit a little tiny whiny snag, though.  
I was talking to Beauty and the Betty a few minutes ago and Willi caught me so I had to think of a reason to be conspiring with them.  
I panicked and you know how crazy I get when I panic sometimes with Wilhelmina. I'll tell her anything to get away."  
"What did you do this time, Marc? You didn't promise her my first born child again, did you? Remember that psychic said I wouldn't have children, anyway!"  
"NO. Listen, Mandy. I may have told her Daniel and Betty were eloping."  
"WHAT? Why would you say that, Marc? They're not, are they?"  
"NO, of course not. The world isn't ending yet, as far as I know. Hell hasn't frozen over."  
"Well, you evidently got Wilhelmina to believe it. It's not really that crazy, Marc. He definitely loves her. You saw how he looks at her. Especially lately. He's definitely hot for her. God knows why.  
Maybe after you've slept with as many pretty girls as Daniel has, you eventually start seeing the world upside down or something. What's ugly becomes pretty.  
Plus, I have to admit, Betty has gotten a little prettier lately, I guess. It was bound to happen, after living with me. Some of my beauty finally rubbed off on her."  
________________________________________  
Chapter 5: Chapter 5  
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Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 5  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ugly Betty!  
________________________________________  
Although she realized he was wearing a designer 'casual' jacket, jeans and a cashmere sweater, not to mention extremely expensive hiking boots, Betty couldn't help but think that Daniel looked kind of cute as an 'outdoorsman'.  
He was leading the way for her, and he had taken her backpack for her, as well as his own.  
She was doing her best, but huffing a bit, "Daniel, I'm sorry, I have to stop again for a minute. I've got a pain in my side."  
"That's because you're not breathing deeply enough, Betty. You're breathing too shallow."  
"I'm sorry; I'm not Sacajawea, okay? I'm doing my best here, Daniel. I don't like the fact that there aren't any other people around. It's kind of spooky in here. It feels like we're the only two people on the planet or something. It's sort of freaking me out.  
And before you say 'I told you so', just stop. I know you did. What can I say? I know I can be sort of hard-headed sometimes."  
He laughed, "Sometimes? How about ALL THE TIME, Betty? You always have to get your way, all the time! But…it's okay. I still love you."  
He grinned, "Here, drink some water and take deep, even breaths. Your side should start feeling better soon."  
Betty looked at him strangely, as she sipped from the water bottle. That whole "I still love you" thing sort of threw her for a loop. "Daniel, can I ask you something?"  
"Sure. Go ahead."  
"What were you thinking about at Hilda and Bobby's wedding? Was it really hard for you to go? You know, because of Molly?"  
She handed him the water and he took a sip, then thought for a minute. "Actually, I really wasn't thinking about her all that much during the wedding itself.  
I was afraid I would be and I sort of freaked myself out about it before the day. But when the actual day came and I saw you there, and…especially when I found out Henry didn't come, I was sort of happy that whole time.  
I had a really good time. That day was such a special day for Hilda, I know. I remember how sad you said she was after losing Santos.  
It kind of gave me hope that if she could find someone like Bobby after losing Santos like that…that, you know, maybe I could find someone else and be happy again, too.  
Then, when I saw you up there, smiling and so happy for your sister, it just made me smile, watching you. You gave me hope, just seeing you, Betty.  
You always do that for me. You take a really crap situation and you see the good in it or at least the hope of it turning into good at some point. You always see the best in every situation. If it rains, you say, yeah, but it watered everything, and now we've got this pretty rainbow. You're a very happy, uplifting girl."  
Betty bit her lip, smiling at him, and punched him lightly in the arm, "You're not going to start singing 'somewhere over the rainbow' just because we're in Kansas, are you?"  
He laughed, "Well, you asked, Betty! No, I'm sorry to get all mushy on you, but you are a pretty positive person, and I guess it's finally starting to rub off on me. Deal with it!" He grinned at her, shoving her lightly.  
"Like my force of sunshine or whatever?" she teased.  
"Yeah. Kinda like that, I guess. Shut up, why are you giving me such a hard time for saying nice things about you?"  
"Because, I guess I want to know, how you mean them, that's all."  
"What do you mean, how I mean them? I mean them. I think you're a really sweet, nice, positive person, and I'm glad I met you, okay? Is that such a terrible thing?"  
"No. Of course not. Never mind. Don't get all snarky about it!" She had started hiking again and was making sure to breathe more evenly, so she could better keep up with Daniel's pace.  
"So are you still getting a signal on both the GPS thing and your cell phone?"  
"So far. As much as I can tell, anyway. I don't really know who to call to check. I don't want to call Marc again. Did you want to call your family or anything?"  
"No, not really. I'm afraid if they knew where I was they would freak out. They know I'm not the outdoor type and you know how much they baby me, especially my dad."  
"Yeah, I do and I think it's very cute. They care about you a lot, Betty. You're really lucky to have them."  
"I know. Say, why don't you try your mom? See how she's doing. Have you called her recently?"  
He shook his head, "Not for a little while. She was taking Tyler on another European tour last week, so I didn't really call her when she was with him."  
"Daniel. You really need to get over your jealousy of Tyler."  
"I know, Betty. It's just hard. When I was a kid, I had to share my mom with Alex. Then, for a little while, I was her only son. Now, she's got a new daughter AND a new son. I feel like yesterday's meat loaf or something."  
"Daniel, your mother loves you so much. You know she does. You two have always been really close. You have a really special bond with her.  
She shouldn't have to choose only one of her children to love. And you need to stop being such a baby and learn to share her with your siblings."  
"Fine! Miss Know it all. I'll call her, okay? Does that make you happy?"  
"Yes. It does."  
He gave her a look, shaking his head at her, "You're really a pain in the ass, sometimes, you know that, Betty? Mom? Hey, it's Daniel. Yeah, I'm with Betty. She's the one who insisted I call you. Of course, she knows that. Yeah, fine, I'll tell her. Thanks. Okay. We're in Kansas, actually. Yeah, corny as Kansas. Middle of nowhere, Kansas.  
Mom? Mom? Hello? Are you there?...Krap. I lost my signal. That was weird.  
She said something about telling you how much she's always loved you and how she was so happy to hear about…something. I couldn't really make out what she was saying. She sounded really thrilled to hear from me, though."  
"See? I told you, she loves you, Daniel."  
He grinned like a little kid, "Yeah. I guess I have always kind of been a mommy's boy."  
"That's cute. Your mom is an amazing woman, Daniel. You're really lucky to have her in your life."'  
"Are you thinking about your mom, Betty?"  
She touched her necklace, with moist eyes, "Yeah. I guess so. I always miss her around this time of year."  
"That's right. I almost forgot. Wasn't tomorrow her birthday?"  
She nodded. He stopped and waited for her to catch up and grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry, Betty. I know how hard it must be."  
"I'm sure you miss your dad, too, Daniel."  
"Yes, but…you were so close to your mom. I'm sure it's even harder."  
"Sometimes." He hugged her.  
"I'm sorry, Betty. I wish I could have met her."  
She wiped her eyes and laughed, "I think she would have been a lot harder on you than my dad has been."  
"Really? You don't think she would like me, huh?"  
"Well, she'd be okay with you being my boss, I guess, or maybe even my friend. But… she definitely wouldn't want me dating somebody like you."  
"Like how I USED to be, you mean, right? Didn't we just have this conversation, Betty?"  
"I know you've changed, Daniel. And I totally give you credit for that. My whole family loves you. I'm just remembering how she never thought Bobby or Santos were good enough for Hilda.  
And she didn't even like Walter, either. She never liked any of our boyfriends. She just said we were her princesses and we deserved to hold out for Prince Charming, not to settle for frogs.  
But since you and I are just friends, she would have probably cut you some slack, I guess."  
"Well that kind of hurts my feelings to think I could never measure up to your mom's standards…as a suitor for her daughter, Betty."  
"Why would you care, Daniel? You aren't a…suitor, so it doesn't really matter, does it?"  
"I guess not." He shrugged. He stopped and held his hand up for her to stop. "Shh…do you hear that?"  
"What?" She grabbed his arm, looking around, with her eyes wide, scared to death.  
He put his finger up to his lips and signaled for Betty to stand still, to see if they heard the sound again. There it was again, a definite sound of twigs breaking and something or someone was in the woods with them, there could be no doubt.  
Daniel pointed to Betty's purse, and mimed for her to get out the knife, by making a 'psycho' gesture and widening his eyes. She caught his meaning and carefully, quietly retrieved the huge weapon and with shaky hands surrendered it to Daniel.  
As he took it from her, he gripped her wrist with his other hand and gave her his most re-assuring smile, which unfortunately for Betty, since she knew all his looks, didn't fill her with much more confidence than one of his fake grins and thumbs up at this point. She knew Daniel well enough to realize he was just as scared as she was.  
________________________________________  
Chapter 6: Chapter 6  
________________________________________  
Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 6  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ugly Betty! Dagnabit!  
There is a lot of inner dialogue from Daniel's POV here, as he watches Betty fall under 'Big Mike's' spell, but don't worry, there will be lots of action in the next few chapters, especially.  
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The unmistakable sound of footsteps was growing ever closer and now Daniel didn't even try to hide his own sense of panic. Betty spotted a large boulder big enough for them to hide behind, given the direction the sound of the person (?) was coming from. She motioned for him to crouch down with her.  
As he put his arm around her, Daniel could tell she was terrified (and frankly, so was he). Why the hell had he allowed her to talk him into coming out here alone like this? He berated himself for not standing up to her and refusing her when she suggested something stupid like this. Now, who knew what would happen to them? Was it a bear or something? Did they have bears in Kansas, he wondered?  
He thought of googling it on his IPhone, but decided it was too late to care about it now, since it was sounding like they would know in a few minutes if there were indeed Chupacabras in the Midwest or if Big Foot had decided he had seen enough Twilight movies and sipped enough Starbucks' coffee for a while to head for a warmer and drier climate than he was used to in the Northwest.  
At least it wasn't a snake, he thought, wondering if that gave Betty any comfort. God, he hoped not. That would be one big ass snake if it was! Don't be silly, he reasoned with himself, those huge Anacondas or whatever were only in South America, right? Columbia or something, right? Man, he suddenly wished he had watched more of the Nature Channel. Or could ask stupid Henry.  
He'd probably know all this crazy stuff and say, "It's just something I know!" (he suddenly pictured Henry as the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz-wasn't that the running joke, that the scarecrow was already smart and the tin man was already sappy and didn't really need a heart?) What a dufuss, he thought; smiling at the thought of Henry dressed up like a scarecrow with glasses.  
But then again, Henry would have probably known better than to let Betty talk him into a hike through the woods by themselves. What were they thinking, a couple of New Yorkers out here in the middle of god knows where, about to get eaten by god knows what?  
Daniel was pulled out of his strange rambling thoughts as Betty suddenly put her head into his chest, afraid to face whatever it was stalking them.  
Suddenly Daniel smiled, tapping Betty on the back and whispering, "It's okay, Betty. It's not the Chupacabra or Big Foot. It's Big Mike! He's here. We found him!"  
She looked up in fear at Daniel, who nodded, and she turned her head to see Michael Hilberg, looking every bit as gorgeous as he did in his movies, only even more so in real life, she thought, her eyes growing wide seeing him in a tattered military undershirt and fatigues, with a sort of Rambo meets Jake Gyllenhall look. Her mouth dropped and she didn't see Daniel raising his eyebrows at her reaction to her first encounter with one of the biggest movie stars on the planet.  
She rose quickly, almost knocking Daniel down in her haste to make sure Mike didn't shoot them or something, thinking they were stalkers or paparazzi or just a pair of crazy people out for a stroll in the woods. His woods.  
"Mr. Hilberg? Hi! Sorry to intrude on your privacy, sir. I'm Betty Suarez and that's Daniel Meade. We're from Mode magazine. We hate to bother you, but we have an urgent matter to discuss with you and we're kind of at a disadvantage, not being familiar with the area."  
The man looked at Betty with a twinge of sadness and smiled at her, "Well, hello there, little lady. What brings a city girl such as yourself out here to this neck of the woods? Mode magazine? What's that?  
Hey, fella, you can come out, you don't have to be afraid of me. I'm harmless. I don't even have nothin but my knife on me. I was just out enjoyin nature and I thought I heard talkin, but figur'd I musta gone nuts er somethin.  
Daniel was standing now, but was somewhat embarrassed that Betty had seemed braver than he was since she spoke up first. "Yes, sorry. I was just a little shocked to actually see you here; you took me by surprise, that's all."  
Mike looked at Daniel skeptically, "Didn't the little lady just say ya'll came here to talk to me?"  
"Right! We did. Sorry. It's a pleasure to meet you in person, Mr. Hilberg. Love all your movies. Big fan." Daniel stepped forward to shake Mike's hand.  
"Like Betty mentioned, we're here about a cover shot for our magazine that your staff had scheduled and we're up against a deadline, but there seemed to be some sort of miscommunication and we'd just really hate to disappoint all your fans who were so looking forward to having you pose for the cover of Mode."  
"Mode-is that like that GQ or something or what's that one, Vogue, isn't it called, the one Madonna did a song about?"  
Great, the guy had heard of all their competition, but not Mode. He nodded, "Yes, we're a fashion magazine and ordinarily, we feature women, but the angle on this shoot is that an action hero like you would be wearing a designer suit on the cover."  
He made a face, "A suit, huh? You mean, with a tie?" He put his hand up to scratch the back of his head and Daniel noticed his muscles were sort of…insane. He rolled his eyes as he saw that Betty had definitely noticed, too. He thought her eyes were going to bug out like a cartoon.  
She stepped over to Mike and did her little lip biting thing that Daniel knew she did when she was sort of flirting or just nervous and looked up at the man, smiling,  
"Yes, I know, speaking on behalf of your many female fans, Mister Hilberg, I can tell you it would definitely cause quite a stir to have someone with your uh…physique dressed in Armani and we could probably have the shirt open slightly, showing all your um…assets underneath the suit."  
Daniel looked at her, wondering where his Betty had gone-obviously to la la land, ogling over mister hardbody, just like all the other women always did. What was it about a guy with a great body that made them all act like a bunch of schoolgirls with their mouths hanging open and salivating? He thought Betty had more brains than to act so goofy.  
And what the hell was she doing telling the guy he could open his shirt? They hadn't discussed that. He didn't know for sure the designer would go for it. But, in all fairness, she was probably right, it would likely sell a lot more copies of Mode with a little tease for the ladies.  
Still, he gave her a dirty look, rolling his eyes, "Yeah, I'm sure we can convince the advertisers to do that. It would make great publicity for your next movie, too!"  
Mike looked back toward his cabin, "Yeah, well, I'm not sure when that's going to be."  
"You're not working on something right now?" Betty asked, looking up at the six-four man candy.  
"Nope. Not really. I told my people I needed a little break. I've been trying to clear my head for a while. Things can get pretty intense back in LA. I needed to come home and find some peace for a spell."  
'For a spell', Really? Who talks like that? Daniel thought, was that accent fake? Did people from Kansas even HAVE accents, he wondered? I mean, it was the Midwest, not Georgia or Tennessee, right? He wondered if Mike's 'people' or publicists or whatever had told him the accent made him more endearing or sexy or something. Like he needed another edge!  
The man was seriously built, Daniel reluctantly admitted to himself, he had a face that looked like all the best plastic surgeons had had a field day giving the guy every good feature, a strong jaw, a firm chin, dimples, a perfect nose, expressive brown eyes, and dark, slightly curly hair, that he kept casually spiked.  
Plus, he had to give the guy his due, he did seem nice enough. He was always donating to charities, visiting sick kids, volunteering at various events, all the stuff that made the women like Betty go even more google-eyed for the guy.  
"So, I bet you folks are hungry! How long you been wanderin around out here, lookin fer me, anyhow?"  
"Oh, not long. I had your coordinates on my GPS." Daniel showed him proudly. The man nodded, "That's good, but it's a good thing you didn't bring that tomorra, cause we're gonna be gettin a big ole thunderstorm and that thing wouldn't a done ya much good in that! Well, come on, you two.  
Come on and have some bar-be-qued perch I just caught this morning in the lake out behind the cabin.  
There's walleye and catfish and crappies, but I mostly fish the perch since their an invasive species, and need to be thinned out, and personally, I like the taste better. Catfish is a bit too fishy for me. It'll do in a pinch, though with lots of spice and cornmeal.  
I made a garlic wine sauce to go with my perch though and it's pretty good, if I do say so." He grinned, holding out his arm for Betty. Daniel wondered how she was going to fit her hand through all those muscles, but she just looked up at the guy, giggling her silly little giggle.  
"You cook, too? Is there anything you don't do, Mister Hilberg?"  
"Please, little lady, call me Mike!"  
She blushed, "Okay, Mike. It's Betty."  
"I remember, Betty. What a pretty name. For a pretty little lady." There was her silly little giggle again, thought Daniel.  
"Come on, Daniel. Whoa, watch that knife there, little buddy, you don't wanta hurt somebody with that!"  
Daniel thought, yeah, I guess not. Little buddy? What was he five? Just because he wasn't a damn Amazon! It was bad enough at Mode, having every woman (including Alexis) who was tall even without sky high heels towering over him, but this guy talking to him like he needed a helmet or something was too much!  
They entered Mike's 'little log cabin' and immediately both of their jaws dropped, Hardly rustic, it was a gorgeous place, with huge beams and floor to ceiling windows that overlooked the lake behind it. There were modern appliances in the kitchen, and a stone fireplace that was roaring.  
Daniel spied a 'game room/bar' that had a dart board, and full size pool table, ping pong and an area with a fairly large dance floor, baby grand piano and state of the art sound system. On the other side of the room, was one of those all-in-one exercise machines that Mike was known for advertising on television. Hell, maybe he should order one, Daniel thought. They obviously worked.  
"Wow! This is amazing, Mike. What a gorgeous view of the lake you have here."  
"Yeah. My Daisy was a painter She loved to sit here or outside and paint the lake. If you go out a few miles behind the lake, you can see the mountains, too."  
"Mountains? In Kansas?"  
He grinned, showing his dimples, and tickled Betty slightly, "Ha! I was just teasin to see if you noticed. Nope. Fraid not. We got a few hills, here and there, but mostly it's flat round here."  
"Did you grow up in Kansas?" Daniel wondered still about the accent. It was more of a slight drawl or twang, not really super southern, but still.  
"Nah, I grew up in Arkansas but my mom brought me here when I was eight after my daddy left us, cause she's got family here. But they turned out to be no help, so we stayed here until I was eighteen, and joined the service, partially so's I could help her out a little.  
I came back, and my Daisy and I got married right away. She had beat cancer once when we first got engaged and we didn't want to waste a minute. We lived every day to the fullest. I talked her inta comin with me out to California when I was offered some movie parts by a scout I happened to meet in Wichita. She didn't like it much there, though. Said she missed the lake.  
A few years later, she got pregnant and we were pretty excited, but then she got the cancer back and lost the baby. She recovered, but I think losing the little one took the fight out of her and she died a few months later.  
I felt pretty torn up, cause I got called away while she was sick and didn't get back in time to be with her in the end. She came here and I was travelin back and forth between movies.  
But, when I was off gettin my damn award and I wasn't here for her, it made me stop and wonder why I was even doin that. I had nobody to share it with, you know? That's kinda why I'm takin some time off now."  
Betty looked at Daniel, noticing his previously sarcastic, somewhat angry demeanor had disappeared as he recognized the feelings the man must have been having, since he had so recently experienced them himself with Molly.  
She watched as Daniel crossed the room and patted the man on the back, sympathetically, and quietly commented, his head down, "Yeah, I sort of know what you're going through, Mike. I lost my wife to cancer, as well. Her name was Molly.  
I was gone when she died, too, and believe me; I know how it eats at you, wishing you had been there. Feeling like you deserted her or worried if she was lonely or scared when it happened. It's tough."  
Mike nodded, and pulled Daniel into a big bear hug, "Well, I'm real sorry to hear that, Daniel. I hope you've been able to deal with things better than I have.  
My damn publicists and managers are ready to have me committed or something, just cause I told them I needed to take some time off to sort things out in my head. I don't wanna go to no shrink, though or start taking some crazy pills.  
I just told em all to let me come up here and do some fishin and kayakin and let me listen to some music and I'd be alright after a spell. I just had to let myself work through missin Daisey in my own way, you know? They just all said I was nuts or somethin. How'd you get through losin yer wife?"  
Daniel smiled, "I joined a cult!" they all laughed uneasily.  
"NO, but seriously, Betty and my mom helped me a lot. I was lucky. They helped me just talk things out and little by little, day by day, things improved. They will for you, too. You'll see. How long has it been?"  
"About a year and a half ago. I thought I could just go back to work and keep busy and keep myself numb, but I was wrong, I guess. It just hit me hard all of a sudden." He was quiet for a while. "Hey, where are my manners? Come on, pull up a chair, you two. I'll finish up the fish and heat up my sauce. There's some veggies in the fridge there, and some garlic bread, as long as you two aren't plannin on doin any kissin later."  
They both blushed, Betty said shyly, "Daniel and I aren't…dating or anything. We're just good friends."  
Mike grinned, "Really? Oh, I just kinda thought you two was together. Well, now, that's just about the best news I've heard all night, Betty. You know, maybe after we get filled up, we can take a little walk out by the lake. The moon and stars are right pretty up here at night. How do you feel about swimmin in the lake?"  
"I don't know. Wouldn't it be a little cold? Besides, I didn't bring a swimsuit."  
"Well, I'm sure I could keep you warm. And we could always just go skinny dippin!" he winked.  
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Chapter 7: Chapter 7  
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Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 7  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ugly Betty!  
Okay, I hesitate to admit this, but I have a 'guilty pleasure' movie in mind when envisioning Daniel and Betty meeting 'Big Mike' and if you've seen it, you know it may not be an award-winning, intelligent film like 'The Wizard of Oz', by any means, but it is funny and kind of sweet, and oh my god, Josh Duhamel is so HOT!  
So, for those of you who have seen 'Win a Date with Tad Hamilton', envision Mike somewhat as Tad, the handsome, sweet movie star who can do no wrong and our man Daniel as Topher Grace's character, Pete, the one who has had the girl right in front of him all along, but was too 'cowardly' to tell her his feelings until his Princess was swept off her feet by her very own movie star Prince. And, yes, my smart readers; Mike does also mainly represent the Wizard in this Oz metaphor, although there is definitely more to him than that!  
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Daniel was in 'Big Mike's' game room, shooting pool by himself while the star took Betty out for a walk by the lake, probably trying to smooth talk her into skinny dipping, Daniel thought.  
As the editor of Mode, he was thrilled that things were going so well. Mike had easily agreed to do the shoot next week, especially with Betty's suggestion that he have his shirt slightly open. Obviously, the guy was in love with his own body!  
Although, as he racked his memory of the dinner conversation, other than the country boy accent that irritatingly reminded him a bit too much of Tyler, Daniel couldn't really find all that much to hate about Mike Hilberg.  
He seemed like a pretty stand-up guy, especially given his celebrity status. He seemed very kind, almost soft-spoken and annoyingly nice. Not to mention, pretty intuitive.  
He had been dubbed the 'Six Million Dollar Man' because that was the sum he made on some of his earlier films. Daniel figured he easily made two or three times that amount now.  
It was enough to make Daniel almost wish he had inherited a movie career rather than a publishing empire. His father, Alexis and Daniel had all had to work extremely hard to sell magazines, he mused.  
Still, Mike seemed somewhat discontent with his career right now, too, so Daniel figured the grass probably always seemed greener, no matter what your job was.  
He heard Betty with her damn giggling again. Man, she sure was laying it on thick tonight! Or maybe 'Big Mike' was tickling her again?  
Hmmm….he didn't really want to know exactly where the nickname came from-six four was pretty big, right?  
Yeah, that had to be it. Just because the guy was tall. Surely God wouldn't give everything to one man! That would be too much.  
"Hey, there, Daniel! You like to play pool, too? I haven't had anybody to play against out here in a long time. You up for a little competition?"  
"Sure! What are the stakes?"  
"Hmmm….let me think." He grinned at Betty, "Would you mind if we bet a dance with you, Miss Betty?"  
She shrugged, "Of course! That's fine. Daniel is a pretty good dancer. We danced almost all night at my sister's wedding recently. What kind of dancing did you have in mind?"  
"I like a lot of different kinds; a good old fashioned waltz is nice, or salsa or even the tango can be fun. My wife made me take ballroom dance lessons right after we got engaged so I didn't embarrass her when we went out dancing and I don't really get to put em to good use no more.  
I'm almost I afraid I'm gonna forget what I learned." Yeah, thought Daniel, something you're not perfect at doing? God forbid. We can't have that now, can we?  
"Well, I can waltz or salsa, and rhumba a little but I have never tango'd before. But I'm game, if you're willing to teach me. I'd love to learn to play pool, myself, too, though."  
"I'll teach you, Betty." Daniel volunteered, seeing a small smirk from Mike, who narrowed his eyes, somewhat in surprise.  
"How come you've never taught her before?" he asked. Daniel could sense the subtext behind the man's query.  
What Mike was really asking was why he wanted to get his arms around Betty if he wasn't interested in her and why he hadn't 'staked his claim' before now if he was.  
Betty seemed completely unaware of the looks of 'game on' faces between the two men.  
Daniel didn't know how to answer that. Betty merely shrugged, smiling, "Okay, Daniel. What do I do?"  
He took her hand and pulled her towards the pool table, then stood behind her, leaning her down to guide her hands along the pool cue.  
He whispered in her ear, with their cheeks touching, causing her to move her shoulder in reaction to his hot breath, "so, look, along the stick, line up your shot, then draw it back like this, and glide it forward, making sure you continue to follow through with your eyes on where you want the ball to go.  
It's a little like bowling in the follow through. You've bowled before, right, Betty?"  
"Not much, no. And I'm not very good at that. But this is fun. Ooh, look, Daniel, we sunk one in. Can you show me again on one more shot?"  
Mike was watching, with his eyebrow raised as Daniel, once again, put his arms around Betty and gave her his little mini 'lesson'.  
After she did a few on her own, she clapped, delightedly, "Ooh, this is fun! Can I play, too?  
Oh, wait, you guys were betting on stuff, though. What can I bet? I don't mind dancing with both of you. Oh, aren't I the lucky girl, getting to dance with two good-looking guys? So, what should we bet?"  
Daniel looked at her in amazement at her confidence and how flirtatious she seemed. Who was this girl? Had he created this flirting monster? Where was his shy little Betty?  
Mike stepped up to the table, grabbing his cue, "How about, whoever loses has to skinny dip out in the lake? It's mighty cold, like you said, Betty."  
She blushed, "Skinny dipping? Seriously, Mike? I don't know. I've NEVER done it before. There's not too many places in New York City to do that!" she laughed, then thought for a minute.  
Daniel watched in horror as she suddenly took a deep breath, then gave Mike a look, THE LOOK, the look of confidence HE had told her about.  
She met Mike's gaze head on and never took her eyes off the movie god, but nodded, then gave him a knowing look and smile Daniel had NEVER seen Betty give anyone, definitely not him.  
She merely said, "Game on!" and took the stick in her hand so deliberately that for a moment, both men wondered if they had been hustled. In fact, Betty did seem to suddenly know a lot more about playing pool than she had let on.  
She moved confidently around the table and both Daniel and Mike looked at each other, realizing they had been taken. She finally missed a shot, though and Mike broke. He did extremely well, but got distracted when watching Betty turn to get a drink from the bar and missed, to give Daniel his turn.  
Daniel had spent hours playing pool at Becks' parent's home growing up, and both men had used the old 'teaching' girls to play routine to get close to hot girls, as well as impressing them, taking turns of who won the game.  
Sometimes Daniel would win, and sometimes Becks had a hot night. Seeing Betty's obvious 'hustle' of him and Mike, he remembered how Sofia had done the same thing.  
As long as he held his concentration, Daniel was like a machine, sinking shot after shot. Unfortunately, he noticed Betty giving Mike one of her little shy smiles and the man smirking and winking at her. "Aww! Too bad, Danny, you were doin' so well, too!"  
Daniel tried to hide his disappointment in his lack of focus, shrugging, then acting non-chalant, "So, what was the bet, exactly? I have to skinny dip tonight or something?  
I haven't done that in a long time, but sure, I'm game. Maybe Betty should get penalized for trying to hustle us, pretending she didn't know how to play. Yeah, so YOU should have to skinny dip, too, Betty." He teased.  
She rolled her eyes, "Maybe if I get a LOT drunker, Daniel! I say we do the dancing first. Mike, why don't you show me some of those moves you learned in your ballroom dancing classes?"  
"Allright, little lady, come here and let me show you how it's done." He grabbed Betty's hand and they waltzed for a song or two, then did the salsa together quite well, while Daniel played around with his IPhone, trying to get a signal.  
He glanced up at the pair several times, noticing Betty's big smile, as she kept looking up at Mike with his goofy expression, Daniel could only describe as love-disgusting. Love-sick didn't do it justice, he thought.  
Maybe this guy was crazy about Betty because she reminded him of his wife, Daniel suddenly thought. He remembered the pictures Betty had shown him and 'Daisy' did resemble Betty vaguely, at least in that she was a short, Latina beauty with a hot body, bright eyes and a great smile.  
Wow, had he just thought that about Betty, Daniel mused? Yeah, he realized, that actually did describe her now. She did have a great body, a fact that Mike was certainly able to notice right away, with her tight tee shirt and well-fitting jeans.  
And her contacts let her beautiful brown eyes sparkle through. Plus, ever since she had gotten her braces off, Daniel hadn't been able to stop staring at her gorgeous smile.  
That same smile, Daniel had been aware of for some time now, hence his semi sappy tribute to her being a 'force like sunshine' at her Blobby award speech. Even with the braces, Betty had a smile that would melt the heart of the abominable snow man, he thought to himself. Or the heart of a cynical man like himself.  
And the warmth behind that smile, made it seem even brighter. Maybe his little sunshine analogy wasn't that much of a stretch, after all?  
Betty twirled around in Mike's arms, as he spinned her. She suddenly stopped and said, "Mike, do you mind if I change? I'm feeling like if I'm going to be dancing, it would be nice to wear a dress. Besides, I feel sort of grungy after our plane ride and the hike."  
Mike shook himself out of the trance Betty had seemed to put him in, dancing with her. "Oh, of course, I'm sorry. You'll both be wanting to take a shower.  
Although, if we do end up doin any skinny-dippin later tonight, you may want to take another one, just to warm up afterwards! But here, let me show you both the bathrooms. This place is a lot bigger than it looks. There's five bedrooms and three bathrooms. Daisy and me always wanted a passle a kids."  
Daniel looked at Betty knowingly, "See, I told you passle was a word, Betty!" he winked. Mike reddened slightly, "I bet you two city folks find my accent funny, huh?"  
"NO, Mike, sorry, I wasn't making fun of you, honest. I was just trying to tell Betty she looked cute in her jeans earlier and I tried to say something about passle, but didn't know how to use it in a sentence, that's all.  
Believe me, I didn't mean it in a derogatory way at all. It's not any different than when one of us New Yorkers says 'forgeddabout it' or something."  
Mike grinned, "Yep. I reckon yer right, Danny. Sorry, I noticed Betty always calls you Daniel. Do you not like Danny?"  
"I prefer Daniel, yeah. My brother was the only one who called me Danny."  
"Yeah, my Daisy always called me Michael. I guess that's one reason I go by Mike now. I'm sorry, when did you lose your brother?"  
Daniel began trying to explain the whole Alex/Alexis story, with Betty adding some of the details.  
Mike was lost, looking at the two, "Wow, it sounds like the two of you go way back, huh? Ya'll sorta sound like a soap opry or something."  
Betty nodded, "Yes. We've known each other for a long time. Now, about that shower?" Mike showed Daniel and Betty both the guest rooms, and went back down to the kitchen to clean up while they each freshened up. Betty knocked on Daniel's door, just as he started to take off his shirt. She didn't even seem to notice.  
"So? Am I doing okay, Daniel?" she grinned.  
He looked at her, seeming somewhat surprised, but thrilled and relieved, "You mean, you're just putting on an act? You don't really like him?"  
"What? No, of course I like him, Daniel. My god, what's not to like? He's so sweet, and genuine, not at all fake, like I imagined a movie star would be. Plus he's gorgeous!" she blushed.  
He nodded, "Yeah, right. He's a real hunk. Listen, thanks to you, we've already got him agreeing to do the shoot, though, so maybe I should just try and see if he's got a better phone than I do, get a signal out, and get to a hotel in Wichita. Unless you want to spend the night here for some reason." He watched her reaction, somewhat nervously.  
She bit her lip and closed her eyes for a moment, thinking carefully, "Well, I think Mike might be hurt if we left tonight, Daniel. He seems a little lonely out here by himself, don't you think?"  
"He lives in LA now, Betty. He is the one who chose to come out here to his little wilderness 'shack' in order to BE alone in the first place, remember? We're probably just disturbing his chi or whatever. He's just being polite."  
"You think so? I don't know. I think maybe I should sort of stay a while and dance with him and you know, seal the deal. I was going to wear that dress you picked out from the closet for me along with the great Jimmy Cho's. I hate to admit it, Daniel, but you do have better taste than I do in clothes. Of course it stands to reason. Well, let me go take a quick shower, and change and you can tell me if you think he'll like it. I have to admit, this is kind of fun! I'm not worrying about what I say or how I look. The contacts kind of make me be able to pretend I'm some actress or something.  
And he doesn't know me as 'mousy Betty' like you do, so it's really nice, having him think I'm cute or something. Of course, I'm not actress or model like he's used to, but I think maybe I remind him a little of Daisy, so that's why he's acting so nice to me. I'll be right out!" She kissed him on the cheek without thinking.  
Daniel was somewhat shocked, considering neither of them had ever kissed the other-anywhere, cheek or otherwise certainly. At least not that he remembered. And Betty nor his mother ever really elaborated on just how the 'Molly kiss' had gone exactly.  
It seemed somehow not fair that the only time they had ever kissed, he was in some weird drug-induced trance, mistaking Betty for his dead wife.  
Now, he stood there, dumbly, with his hand on the cheek she had innocently brushed with her lips, feeling it turn hot. Strange reaction for the former playboy, Daniel conceded.  
Later, after he showered and dressed himself, he looked but didn't see Betty at first. Then, as he started to come down the stairs, he spotted her, making her grand entrance. Not before Mike was watching her with his eyes transfixed, gleaming with excitement and obvious arousal.  
Daniel fought off a sudden wave of nausea as he realized his Betty was a total knockout, ready to land her very own Prince Charming. And he had literally handed Cinderella her glass slippers, picked out the dress, and primped and primed her for her debut.  
She looked amazing, with her long, black hair, smooth and shining, her big, brown eyes sparkling and there was that million dollar smile she had perfected especially well recently since outgrowing her braces.  
Right now, for some reason he couldn't really put into words, Daniel wanted to find Betty's glasses, and braces and put them on her, so maybe Michael Hilberg wouldn't be eyeing his little Betty like she was…well, beautiful.  
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Chapter 8: Chapter 8  
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Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 8  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ugly Betty!  
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Daniel watched, feeling like he was numb, as he saw Betty smile her megawatt smile, then walk down the stairs, and practically jump into Mike's arms; the man twirling her around like she was his own little doll or something.  
They danced, and danced some more. While Daniel fumed, and fumed some more. He kept fussing with his stupid phone, mainly so he wouldn't have to watch his Betty get literally swept off her feet by Mike.  
Yeah, okay, the guy was whatever, hot, built, and rich beyond even Daniel's standards, but he probably only wanted to have some kind of trip down memory lane, using Betty to help him get over his wife, then once he had had his way with her, he'd leave her alone and sad while he ran back off to Hollywood to make his next blockbuster movie.  
He finally couldn't take it anymore; he put down the useless phone, and walked across the room, tapping Mike, "Is it okay if I cut in-for a spell?"  
Mike smiled, looking down at Daniel almost sympathetically, but with a knowing glance, "Sure, Daniel. You saw her first, I guess. But I'm keeping my eye on you, Meade, so keep your hands where I can see them." He laughed, stepping aside to go sit at the piano, playing along with the song on the sound system.  
Well, of course, the guy could play piano, too, Daniel thought. He would have been annoyed, but he was too distracted for the moment, feeling Betty in his arms. He smiled, holding her close, remembering how they had danced like this all night at her sister's wedding.  
That had been one of the best times of his life, he it dawned on him. Until now, he thought, suddenly grinning at the feel of holding her in his arms. He twirled her around, dipping her.  
Betty giggled at first, getting flushed, but looked up at him, "Daniel! This is fun, but what are you doing? I was dancing with Mike. I thought that was the plan?"  
He pulled her close, "You already got him to agree to the shoot, Betty. You did your job and then some. You're off the clock now. So, do you really like this guy or something? You're not seriously falling for him, are you? You know he's only after one thing."  
"Daniel! He's a nice guy. He is obviously still grieving over his wife. I would think of all people you should understand what he must be going through."  
He twirled her again and when he pulled her close, he whispered against her temple,  
"I do, Betty. And I know how lucky I was that you helped me get through it when I lost Molly. I guess if I'm being honest here, though, I'm a little jealous. You know I don't like to share you with other guys. I never have and I never will."  
"Jealous? Share me? Daniel, what are you talking about?" She looked at him as he dipped her again, holding her face inches from his own. But before he could answer her, Mike came back over.  
"Okay, time's up, Daniel. You had your chance with the little lady. Now it's my turn!" Daniel knew he wasn't just imagining the tone of challenge in Mike's voice.  
Fine, he wanted to compete, Daniel knew he was up against a movie star, but screw it, he knew Betty better than anyone on the planet. He knew what she liked and what turned her off. Wait a minute, what the hell was he doing, here? Fighting this guy-over Betty?  
He absently ran his hand through his hair, realizing he had forgotten to even look at it before he started looking for Betty earlier.  
He tried to shake off whatever crazy jealous haze he had gotten himself into and tell himself to chill. He watched Betty get literally picked up and twirled around by the 'big guy'. He needed to stop always being so overprotective and possessive of Betty.  
She was a grown woman. She could take care of herself. It wasn't like she was his-well, girlfriend or anything. He seriously didn't know what had come over him all of a sudden, acting like a crazy, jealous boyfriend.  
Just because Betty was looking incredibly hot tonight, partially thanks to Daniel's own stupid suggestions to her. Just because he'd never met any woman who made his heart pound like this before, or made him want to be with her all the time. Just because he couldn't imagine his life without her in it, didn't mean...anything. Shit!  
Daniel sighed, and walked over to the room where the sound system was and next to the piano, propped up in the corner, he saw a guitar.  
He picked it up and started fingering the chords along with the song the best he could, but softly, embarrassed to be heard, in case he made a mistake, knowing he hadn't played in years, and had never been all that great to start with.  
When he saw Betty glancing in his direction around Mike's arm, he quickly put it down and took out his phone again, this time playing a stupid game to try and distract himself from watching her with Mike.  
Finally, after what seemed like hours to him, Betty excused herself and flopped on the couch, sighing, and fanning herself, "Whoa, you're an incredible dancer, Mike! You wore me out! I can't remember when I've danced so long before. Those lessons really paid off!"  
He grinned, and nodded, "Why thank you, Mis…I mean Betty. You sure know how to cut a mean rug yerself! You want a glass a water er somethin?"  
She nodded, but looked up in surprise as Daniel was handing her and then Mike big both glasses of water. "So, what's next on the agenda, guys? How about a game of darts?"  
Mike grinned, following Daniel to the game room. "What are we betting this time? I don't mind, Daniel, but I warn you, I'm pretty handy with a dart in my hand! Especially when I've had a few beers in me! It improves my aim!" he laughed.  
"Well, I guess we'll have to have several beers to get caught up, then. I play better a little drunk, too!" Betty looked at Daniel, trying to figure out what was going on with him.  
It was almost like he wanted to monopolize all of Mike's time. She sighed, leaning back against the sofa, drinking her water, too exhausted to care much at this point.  
She realized several hours later, that she must have dozed off, and she jumped up when her phone buzzed, "Daniel! I got reception! My phone…" but she saw that Daniel and Mike were laughing and talking, as they drank and competed now at ping pong, after several games of darts.  
She answered it quickly, anxious to let her family know she was okay. "Hilda! Hey, I'm so glad I finally got reception out here! Daniel and I have been trying to get through but the coverage is terrible…hello, Hilda? Can you hear me?"  
Hilda was breaking up something terrible, but she heard, "Betty! Did you really take off with Daniel?"  
"Yes. He's here with me now. He's playing a ping pong with Mike Hilberg right now. We're at his cabin by a lake. It's beautiful. We're in Kansas, near Wichita.  
We're fine; no need to worry. We did what we came here to do. We got Mike to do the cover, so we've just been dancing and having a great time. I was dancing with him all night. He's so gorgeous!  
I love how sweet and kind he is. He's not stuck up at all, like you might think. I think I'm helping him get over losing his wife a little, but I don't mind. We're just having a good time. He was teasing me earlier about skinny dipping! Can you imagine? Me?  
Listen, Hilda, I can barely make out what you're saying, honey. Just tell everyone I'm fine, and having a wonderful time here with Mike and Daniel and I'm so excited to tell you all about everything that's happened when I get back home, okay? Bye, I love you!"  
Hilda looked at Justin and Ignacio after hanging up with Betty. Bobby was just coming in the door holding a few groceries from the neighborhood store.  
"Hey, is what I just saw on TV true about Betty? Did she and Daniel run off somewhere and elope? It's all over the news!  
Not just that fashion channel Justin watches, either, the regular local news was talking about how 'millionaire playboy Daniel Meade, the heir to Meade Publications had dropped off the grid and no one could reach him to verify his whereabouts, but there were rumors of him running off to elope with his former secretary and good friend, Betty Suarez!" Is it true? Did he and Betty get married?"  
Hilda shrugged, shaking her head, "I guess so! I finally got through to Betty and it was terrible reception wherever she was, but she said she was with Daniel now and they had been dancing all night and he was so sweet and gorgeous and she was having a wonderful time with him, and that we shouldn't worry because she was safe and they did what they went there to do or something. I guess she's having a good time with him, she said something about skinny dipping!  
I don't know though, she also said she thought maybe she was trying to help him get over Molly a little, but man, I really can't believe Betty of all people would do something like elope-with Daniel!  
Are you sure you understood them right, Justin? Where did he say he was taking her?"  
"Kentucky, I think-somewhere with a K. He said something about a lake and a cabin. You would think he could spring to take Aunt Betty to somewhere a little nicer.  
I mean, I know Vegas is tacky, but at least it's civilized. Since when do he and AB like to go camping out in the woods? I swear, what some people think is romantic is beyond me!"  
"Kentucky? Justin, are you sure? Why would he take her THERE? That makes no sense!" Ignacio was pacing. "I wish you would have handed the phone to me, Hilda.  
I want to hear with my own ears from Betty that she is alright. I trust Daniel with her, I know he'll take care of her, but I don't understand why he wouldn't just come and ask for my blessing. I would have at least made them a cake or something. What's the rush?"  
Bobby said what they all must have been thinking, "You don't think Betty's?"  
Justin put up a hand, "God, NO! AB is a very sensible person. She would at least be careful, even if she and Daniel did seem like they were in a really big hurry!"  
"Big hurry?" Ignacio started pacing again.  
As she hung up the phone, Betty was getting bored with the guys doing their little competitive thing all night, more or less ignoring her. So, she decided to play pool on her own, and have some wine.  
After a few minutes, she heard Mike say rather loudly, "I do believe we're bein rude to the beautiful lady, Daniel. Just give it up, dude.  
I beat you at nine straight games of darts and six games of ping pong. Now, I'm gonna go talk to Betty. She looks lonely, and I can't have that. I wanna be a good host."  
"Sure, Big Mike! Say, what's with the big? How'd you get that nickname anyway?"  
Mike turned and smiled at Daniel, showing off his dimples, "Dude. Seriously? Guess."  
Daniel rolled his eyes, cursing himself. He hated himself when he drank too much beer. He just said whatever stupid things came into his head. He had a little better control when he drank Scotch. Good Scotch. But 'Big Mike' seemed to be a beer man.  
Although, he noticed Betty had found a bottle of wine she seemed to be enjoying pretty much, seeing that she was the only one drinking it and it was over half empty.  
After he saw Betty laughing at something Mike said to her, he started to try and think of something clever to say, but he was still sort of thrown by Mike's revelation. Well, he had to ask! Mike's phone went off and Daniel was brought out of his mood. He saw as Mike started talking to his agent about some movie part he was being offered.  
Daniel walked over to Betty. "Hey, his phone does work out here, I guess, huh? We could still get a freakin helicopter or something to come rescue us and take us to Wichita."  
Betty looked at him like he was insane. "Daniel, you're drunk. A helicopter? We're in a beautiful cabin, overlooking a lake. We weren't attacked by the Chupacabra or Big Foot! We don't need to be rescued." she teased.  
"No, just from Big Mike with his big… whatever! Well, I want out of here. Enough is enough."  
She put her hand on his arm, "Daniel? What's wrong? Why are you acting so strange? And it isn't just because you've been drinking. Although, you know you don't really react well to beer, so I don't know why you're drinking it. You should have tried the wine, instead."  
"Too girly. You wouldn't want me to look like a wimp in front of Big Mike, would you, Betty? I mean, hell, I've only lost at pool, darts, and ping pong to the guy, repeatedly, not to mention he dances like freakin' Fred Astaire or something.  
Not to mention, he plays piano, and is all mister hiker, and wilderness man, with huge, crazy muscles from his stupid muscle-nator machine, and apparently, he doesn't need steroids, either!"  
Betty was laughing at him, but she shushed him, so Mike wouldn't hear him raising his voice as he was getting agitated. "Sh…Daniel! Be quiet! He's talking to his agent, I think. Seriously… you're acting really crazy tonight. What's gotten into you?"  
He shrugged. She led him to the music area, trying to calm him down. "Hey, I noticed you playing the guitar. I didn't know you played. Why don't you teach me? I enjoyed our pool lesson earlier."  
He snorted, "Yeah, which you obviously didn't really need! Where'd you learn to play pool like that?"  
"My brother-in-law." He raised his eyebrow, "Really? Does Hilda know you're getting lessons on how to play pool from her new husband?"  
She laughed, "Hey, I was trying to live life on the wild side for a while for that fearless story and I sort of hung out with Bobby at a pool hall. It was way before he was even dating Hilda. And he definitely didn't show me the way you did, Daniel. So…about that guitar lesson."  
________________________________________  
Chapter 9: Chapter 9  
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Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 9  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ugly Betty  
________________________________________  
After sitting down with Daniel behind her on the piano bench, Betty allowed him to put his arms around in front of her and show her a few simple cords on the guitar.  
She looked up at him, and smiled, "How come you never told me you could play the guitar, Daniel? I thought I knew everything about you. Were you just too shy or something?"  
He rolled his eyes, "Yeah, Betty. That's me, mister shy guy. No. I…just was never all that good at it, I guess. Plus, I don't know it sort of felt strange to talk about it after…remember that sort of racy poem that Molly wrote? That you had to interpret for me?"  
"Yes, of course, I remember. It was kind of hot."  
Betty couldn't be sure, but she could have sworn she noticed Daniel blushing.  
"Yeah, well, I figured she had really put herself out there with sharing that, so I played the guitar for her. This stupid song I wrote in junior high.  
I mean, I really only pretended I was in a rock band to annoy my dad and piss off Alex and to get girls who were sort of our younger versions of groupies, thinking we were cool or something."  
She grinned. "Well, thank you for sharing it with me, too, Daniel. I think you're better than you give yourself credit.  
You're a good singer, too. I know I'm terrible, but I don't care. I still have fun singing karaoke."  
"Yeah, you are pretty bad, Betty." She hit him on the head lightly.  
"Thanks a lot, Daniel!"  
He laughed, "But very cute! And you're right, it was really fun. Listen, I'm sorry if I was acting all protective. I know you can think for yourself, but…I still am going to worry about you, I can't help it, you know? It's sort of our thing. I mean, you really don't know this guy. So, just be careful, okay? I'm sorry, but I don't want you to get hurt. You can get pissed off at me like you did when I butt in about Henry, but I care about you, so you're going to just have to deal with that."  
She kissed him on the cheek again, this time a little longer, then rubbed off her lipstick with her thumb.  
He looked at her sideways, "You keep teasing me like that, Betty, and eventually, I'm going to have to turn my head at just the right time, to make it worth the effort, and find out what we've been missing out on all these years."  
She put her head down, and blushed, trying to get up, but he kept her 'trapped' between his lap and the guitar, grinning at her.  
"Just where do you think you're running to? I thought you said you didn't need rescuing, Betty? Or is that just from him? Am I a bigger threat?"  
"Daniel…I know you've been drinking, now. It almost sounds like you're coming on to me!"  
"Good. Because I was." He leaned forward, slightly, as if he wanted to kiss her, then stopped himself.  
"Oh, I think I remember now; I'm the one who actually started this kissing on the cheek stuff, didn't I?  
I was so excited about coming up here with you that I kissed YOU on the cheek back in the Closet in New York! I almost forgot that.  
Was it just me, or did that little kiss on the cheek feel like…something not so little?" Betty didn't answer him.  
He turned her to face him "Look, this has been killing me, Betty. I have to know. Did I really only kiss you on your eye or whatever when I was so out of it?"  
She nodded. "Yes."  
"You're sure? You're not just saying that so I won't feel uncomfortable or something?"  
"No. Honestly, Daniel. That's all that happened. I mean, I think you thought you were kissing…you know, her lips, because that was definitely the hottest eyebrow kiss I've ever had, but like you said, I'm really short, so…that's all that happened. Honestly."  
"Good."  
She looked at his relieved expression. "What do you mean? It wouldn't have mattered. I was just trying to…"  
He put the guitar back on the wall and held her shoulders. "No, I get it, Betty.  
You were just trying to help me grieve and telling me what you thought I needed to hear right then. I know that. But this has nothing to do with Molly. This is about you and me.  
I said good, because I wouldn't have wanted that to be our first real kiss. I want it to be just you and me, fully present and alert.  
Totally in the moment, so we can really enjoy it. I think after four years and only three kisses on the cheek all within the last two days, we deserve to have it be a really good one, don't you?"  
She was having a hard time breathing, and didn't take her eyes off Daniel for a moment as he was talking. But she whispered, "That's too bad, since we're both a little too drunk, then to talk about this, right?"  
He straightened himself up, "I'm feeling a lot more sober suddenly. I think I'd be alright. Of course, if you didn't like it at first, we could always keep doing it till we got it right."  
Betty looked at Daniel with her eyes wide, trying to gauge just how drunk he was to be talking like this all of a sudden.  
She picked up her glass off the table behind her and drank down the wine in one gulp.  
Before she could think of an answer, they heard Mike walking towards them, wrapping up his conversation, "I'll check and see. Let me get back to you. Thanks, again, Pete! This is great news! See ya soon, buddy!"  
Betty stood up, leaving Daniel somewhat frustrated at Mike's timing. The 'big guy' came in to the room and picked Betty up, swinging her around, "Woo-eey! I can't believe it! That was my agent, Betty! I got the part I've been wanting for almost a year now. It's for a Redford film with Sundance.  
It's gonna really be a stretch for me. A truck driver. But, I still get to wear a hat. It'll just be a trucker hat instead of a cowboy hat. But it's a really great part!  
I play this man who just got left at the alter and I'm trying to work hard as a truck driver to make enough to pay for the weddin' I didn't even get to have.  
It starts out almost like a romantic comedy or somethin, cause I meet some ornery woman that I don't get along with at first while I'm trying to get em to take back the cake and she works in the bakery, but anyhow, she turns out to really be a CIA agent."  
Daniel started laughing. "A CIA agent? Seriously? That sounds um…interesting."  
Betty was amused, too at the implausible sounding plot, but held herself together better and waved Daniel away, as she nodded and smiled, "That's fantastic, Mike, congratulations! When do you leave?"  
"Tomorrow! There sendin a helicopter out to pick me up. Betty, come with me!"  
She looked at him with her eyes popped out, thinking that it sounded more like a command than a question, "What? Mike, you can't be serious!"  
"Why not, Betty? You can get some time off. You can still get your cover shot for the Mod magazine thing you need. I'll dress up one day on the set and you can…have your photographer take the shot, before you take it off me."  
He grinned, taking Betty by the waist, pulling her into the living room and leaving Daniel trying to peer around the corner to see what was happening.  
She blushed, looking down, "Mike, I'm really flattered, but we just met. I think maybe you're just…"  
"Tryin to use you to replace Daisy? Yeah, I knew you were probly thinkin that. I thought a that, too, Betty. But I know you ain't her. And I've been with other girls since Daisy, so that's not what's goin on here.  
I don't know; I can't describe it. There's just something about you that's got me so happy I can't rightly see straight no more.  
I know you just met me. But come out to California with me and you can get ta know me out there! You can get yer own room. I promise I won't. Well, no, I ain't gonna promise I won't try nothin', cuz yer too cute fer that. You know I'd be lyin'. But, I won't expect nothin from you that you ain't ready fer, yet. How's that?" he winked.  
She looked at him, with his eyes shining, "Mike, I really don't know what to say. I'm so honored you'd want to bring me out to Hollywood with you. I just…don't know. It's so sudden."  
"I tell you what, Betty. You think about it fer a spell and let me know what you decide. I don't half ta leave till tomorrow afternoon so that leaves ya all night to think on it.  
Meanwhile, let's celebrate! There's a Jacuzzi out on the back porch ta warm up in when we get back. Come on, girl, I'm gonna show you how we get er done-country style!"  
He grabbed another full bottle of wine with one hand and took Betty's hand and pulled her out to the lake, and started stripping as he ran towards it. She looked back to see Daniel but he seemed to have disappeared upstairs.  
Probably calling for his own helicopter 'rescue' she figured. She wondered if Daniel thought she was going to actually do this crazy thing with Mike.  
She had no intention of it. But she was torn. Part of her was almost tempted to do something crazy, and spontaneous like this for once in her life. I mean, the guy was amazing! He was kind, and sweet, and charming.  
But, on the other hand, she couldn't believe the things Daniel had been saying to her before Mike had come back in the room. She knew how Daniel was when he drank beer. It acted like truth serum on his system.  
Suddenly, Betty's eyes practically popped out of her head as she saw Mike was really not kidding about the skinny dipping.  
Evidently a combination of drinking beer for several hours and being given the part he'd been wanting for a year made the man want to bare all. And she was there to witness it, every um single bit of him…okay. WOW!  
She heard the splash  
"Wahoo! Man, this water sure is cold! Betty, come on, don't be shy! I'll close my eyes until you get in, I promise!  
She grabbed the bottle of wine and drank a big swig directly from the bottle. Betty was trying to think…well about anything besides what she had just witnessed. She felt like her whole life was flashing before her eyes.  
Somehow she had gotten herself in a very interesting situation. She knew it certainly wasn't a bad predicament to have to have an unbelievably sexy, hot, currently very naked movie star who wanted her to come with him to see him on the set of his new movie. She could go with Mike and oversee the cover shot for Mode, then leave. Or stay. She couldn't believe she was thinking of this seriously now, but then again, why not? It wasn't like the guy was asking her to marry him or anything.  
He just asked her to take a trip with him. Heck, she was already half way across the country from New York. Why not go the rest of the way to California while she was on a roll?  
Just then she saw Daniel standing on the porch, watching Mike swimming. He came and sat down beside Betty, on the ground, and grabbed the bottle, taking a swig. "Classy." He commented, winking.  
"So, are the rumors true?" he grinned.  
She raised her eyebrows, "Oh, yeah! And then some."  
Daniel shook his head, "Hmmm…that's not really fair. This guy's got to have SOME fault. I know, maybe he's secretly in the CIA!" They both laughed.  
________________________________________  
Chapter 10: Chapter 10  
________________________________________  
Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 10  
Disclaimer: I don't own nothin'/so ain't no cause fer suin!  
________________________________________  
Daniel was making Betty very nervous, the way he was tracing circles on her back right now with his finger. She felt like she was in dangerous waters with Mike or literally on dangerous ground if she stayed next to Daniel, given his current mood.  
She wasn't sure his amorous attention was real or was just being amplified because he felt he had to compete with Mike.  
Betty knew how competitive Daniel was, with Becks (a dollar? Really, guys? How childish and petty!), with his sister, with Alex, before he WAS Daniel's sister, with Wilhelmina, with Tyler, and Matt, and Henry to some degree, and almost any one, even her, but mostly other men.  
So, once Mike was no longer competing for her attention, would Daniel lose interest in her? I mean, she had been right there, all along, and where had he been?  
Which brought Betty to another nagging question, was this all about her make-over? She wasn't crazy about sticking her finger in her eyes all the time, so would he find her glasses a big turn off?  
It seemed like the contacts (as well as sexier clothes, of course) had been a big part of Daniel's sudden interest in her.  
Of course, in all fairness to Daniel, Mike had only ever seen her this way, and so naturally assumed this was her normal appearance, and had no idea she had in fact, made some fairly major transformations to her looks, especially in the recent few months.  
She doubted Mike would have been so drawn to her either, if she still had her glasses, and was wearing a less flattering wardrobe (not to mention her braces!)  
Daniel leaned over, whispering in her ear, "Betty, you're not seriously thinking of running off to La La Land with this big dufuss and his big thing, are you? He might put an eye out with that thing!"  
She turned back and looked at him, "Daniel, grow up! You don't know what you want any more than I do! I think you only think you want me right now because he does. Where was THIS Daniel before? You just want 'sexy Betty', not the real me."  
"Who says 'sexy Betty' isn't the real you?"  
Her head was swimming right now and she felt dizzy. It didn't help that she had pretty much drank the whole first bottle of wine on her own and had had almost half of the bottle Mike had brought out for her. She turned over the now empty second bottle and stood up, pulling off her dress,  
"Well, I guess there's only one way to find out! But…this is as far as I go! You both are going to have to use your imagination for the rest!"  
She had already taken off her shoes and now she ran in her bra and panties to jump into the lake, as a shocked Daniel and a somewhat surprised but happy Mike watched.  
"AAAAHHH Oh My GOD, this is COLD! Mike, you're crazy!"  
She turned to Mike, who was now swimming closer to Betty. "How are your um…sorry to be so blunt, but your balls not literally blue in here?"  
He laughed. "I guess I'm more used to it than you for one thing. So, have you been thinking about my offer or Daniel's?"  
She looked surprised, "Daniel's? What do you mean, just because we were talking? He wasn't offering me anything, really."  
"Sure he was, Betty. I saw how he's been lookin' at you. And me. I still don't quite get you two. How come if'n he's felt this way boutcha all this time, he never fess'd up to ya before now? But some fellas are just that way, I guess. They've gotta get all riled up and jealous before they realize they might lose the girl they took fer granted.  
It happened a little with me and Daisy. There was a fella round here what liked her, too. She almost went off with him while I was in the air force.  
But, lucky fer me, she took the time to talk to the other guy and really give him the time of day. Then, she saw she really loved me all along. But she and the other fella had a nice time fer a spell, I reckon. It sorta always kept me on my toes."  
Betty rolled her eyes, "Is that a true story, Mike or are you trying to convince me that I should 'give you the time of day' to keep Daniel on his toes?"  
He smiled, "You're a smart girl, Betty. But, no, it's still true."  
"THAT I have been told before. It's the pretty part I'm not used to as much. But thanks, anyway."  
He looked at her, puzzled, "How have you not been told you were pretty every day of your life, Betty? People in New York must all be blind as bats! I know a lot of em are sorta nutty, no offense!"  
"None taken. You're right, there are a lot of crazy people in New York. But, to be fair, until yesterday I wore glasses. And until four months ago, I had braces. And until two days ago, I wouldn't have been caught dead in a dress like that."  
"Oh, wow, I had braces, too. Man, they're sure a pain, aren't they?"  
"How long did you wear yours? For a spell?" she teased.  
He laughed, "Yeah, a pretty long spell. Two and a half years in junior high. How about you? Oh, you just had yours, huh? That musta been hard."  
"Try four years! My parents couldn't afford them when I was younger and my teeth were really bad."  
He got closer to her. "Well, you've sure got a great smile, now, Betty. You know, I know it's hard to let go of the past sometimes, but my Daisy used ta tell me I was her Prince Charming.  
I never believed her for a long time. I only saw all the crazy stuff I used to do when I was younger. I sure never thought I was ever gonna be good enough fer her.  
That's why I let her go off with that other guy. I was too scared to step up to the plate myself, cause I knew I loved her, I just didn't think she could ever really love me.  
But you know what she said one time? She told me, there weren't no frogs; only Handsome Prince's that didn't know who they were yet. They just needed to find the right Princess to kiss em and turn em into the Prince they were meant to be all along."  
Betty smiled, as she saw Daniel, who had now stripped to his boxers and was coming to join them. She laughed, and said, "Well, I guess here comes my prince now. Do you think I should kiss him to see if he's just a frog?"  
Mike looked at her, and smiled, "Him? You sure? I tell you what. I'll leave you two alone tonight. You see if he turns into a Prince or if you want to throw him back in the lake here with the other frogs"  
She made a face, looking around the lake, "Ooh, there are frogs in here? Seriously?"  
He grinned, "I'll tell you what, I'm gonna be in the Jacuzzi and warm up my giblets fer a spell if you care to join me later, Betty."  
He walked over to her and gave her a very passionate kiss, then held her cheek. "Don't count me out yet, though, just cause I'm a new player in the game, Betty."  
He walked over to the Jacuzzi, nodding to Daniel as he passed him. "I warmed her up fer you, Daniel. Don't stay in too long. It's colder than you city folks is used to."  
Daniel didn't comment, as he started to just walk into the lake, but yelled out, "Shit, this is cold!" and swam over to Betty, under the water. "Do you have hypothermia yet, out here with long john silver?"  
She shook her head, smiling, "Jealous? Don't tell me Daniel Meade is going to let some Hollywood guy intimidate him. You have a reputation for action, too, remember, Daniel? Granted, maybe a different kind of action."  
"Sorry to disappoint you, Betty. Did you expect me to strip completely, too, so you could do a side by side comparison or something?"  
She furrowed her brow as if she was picturing it, then laughed at the image, "No! But thank you for that interesting visual, Daniel. God, you're a mean drunk when you mix beer and wine!"  
"I'm not mean. It's called frustration, Betty. I try to talk to you earlier inside and that Hollywood goof comes and literally picks you up and steals you away from me, then you follow him out here, the minute he goes flashing his stuff around, and leave me sitting like a wallflower at a school dance.  
I'm starting to feel a little rejected here. Is that what's going on? Are you rejecting me and running off to California with him and all the other crazies?"  
"There are plenty of crazy people in New York, too, Daniel."  
"Yeah, I know. I happen to work with quite a few. Present company included sometimes, clearly. Tell me you're NOT giving his insane offer serious consideration right now, Betty!  
You are not going off to Hollywood with that guy on his helicopter! As your boss, and your friend, I refuse to let you. Your father would kill me! Not to mention Hilda! Who knows what kind of drugs his crowd is into there or sex orgies."  
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "You refuse to LET me? I'm sorry, Daniel, but being my boss or my friend doesn't give you control of me. This is a personal decision. I can do whatever I choose on my weekends.  
Even being my boyfriend wouldn't mean you owned me. And I haven't exactly heard you outright telling me you wanted that kind of relationship anyway.  
You've sort of hinted around at it, tonight, FINALLY after four years, and only three little kisses on the cheek in two days, like you said. Not a lot to go on. Or to hold me back from at least considering Mike's offer.  
As I'm sure you saw, he's already given me a lot more than a peck on the cheek to think about. And maybe given that he's an actor, he's definitely not a bad kisser."  
"Oh, now you're TRYING to make me jealous? I suppose you expect me to kiss you now so you can see if I'm a better kisser, too? That's romantic!"  
"Oh, right, because YOU'RE such a romantic guy, Daniel Meade! I'm sorry, but wasn't that me who used to buy your condoms for you in bulk?  
Not to mention, stocking your apartment with ladies unmentionables, and getting your boxers practically by the caseload, in case you forgot them somewhere?  
Yeah, that's you, Daniel, Mister Romantic! You know what, don't' bother trying to impress me with anything you've got to offer. If it takes you this long to even decide if you want me in the first place, you must not think all that much of me. And frankly, I'm beginning to wonder if YOU'RE worth waiting around for…indefinitely."  
She walked over to the Jacuzzi and joined Mike, who had seen the fireworks between Daniel and Betty. He didn't comment, but merely put his arm around her when she got into the hot tub with him. After sitting there, silently for several minutes, Mike noticed, "You're really cold, Betty. Why don't you go on and take a hot shower and get warmed up?"  
"That's a good idea. I definitely need to warm up right now. I'll see you inside later." She kissed him, holding his face in her hands and really getting into it. He looked surprised but pleased. "That was a real nice surprise, Betty. Especially if it was really for my benefit. So, have you made your decision, then?"  
She stood to get up, "Not totally, no. But…right now, I'm definitely leaning towards warm beaches and the Pacific Ocean. Can I sleep on it, though?"  
He nodded, "Sure, Betty. I know this is all comin' at you real fast. But I'm sorry, that's just how life is, sometimes, all fast and furious. You don't always have a long time to think things over, you know?"  
She nodded, "I know. Thanks for being so understanding, Mike. I'm going to go get warmed up now."  
He nodded, smiling at her. "Oh, and Betty? My imagination's doin' just fine even with yer undies on!" he winked at her, as she held her arms over her bra and ran off to go use the shower and change into warm dry pyjamas.  
A few minutes later, Daniel got into the hot tub with Mike, and nodded to him, as he shivered. "Jesus, that lake is cold! Why do you put yourself through such torture?"  
"Sometimes you've gotta get uncomfortable before things change. You know, Daniel, I can see you love her. Why haven't you stepped up before now and just told her how you feel? Or is the fact that I'm here, stakin' my claim the catalyst that's made you see how you feel?"  
"Catalyst?"  
"Yep. I said catalyst. Look, just cause I've gotta accent, don't think I'm stupid, Daniel. B'leive it er not, they got college classes when yer in the air force, and I got me a college degree. I got a piece a paper what says I'm real smart.  
I just don't talk like you city folk. But talkin' country don't mean you ain't got brains. That's somethin' that always kinda riled me up about stereotypes.  
I know Betty's a real smart girl. Do you think I'd figger I had a shot with a girl that smart if I didn't have a brain or two myself? And no offense, I can tell yer no dummy about some things.  
But when it comes to Betty, you sure ain't the sharpest tool in the shed, Daniel. She likes you too, maybe even loves you. But she's scared cause she is just now seein' you take a shine to her and she's not sure if you're sincere or not, that's all.  
Look, I'm sorry. I think yer a real nice fella and all, Daniel, but I'm gonna bring my A game and try and convince her to come with me.  
I'm not gonna run off and marry her or nothin', don't worry. Not that she'd do that, anyway. She's got a mind of her own, that's fer sure. And I ain't gonna dump her fer no actress, neither. I really like her.  
Now, I'm a real good sport, so I told Betty I'd leave you two alone to give you tonight to figger things out, but it kinda looks like she's perty mad at you right now, so you just mighta already blew yer chance! But, if'n you wanna have a real shot with er, too, the game's on, pardner! Be prepared!"


	2. Chapters 11-21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Completion of story-Chapters 11 through 21.

Chapter 11  
Disclaimer: I don't own UB/don't sue!  
Betty was so angry; she couldn't see straight right now. She stormed up to the guest bedroom, and forcefully slammed the door behind her, wishing Daniel's face was right there.  
How dare he tell her what she could and couldn't do! The man was insufferable! Did he honestly think being his employee made her his property or something?  
She knew it was wrong in every way to go off with Mike simply to prove to Daniel that he didn't have the right to speak to her like that. But it didn't stop her from having that reaction right now.  
Mike was sweet, and charming. He obviously wasn't in love with her or anything, they had just met. She believed his confession that while he saw the resemblance between her and his late wife, he had already had enough subsequent relationships to prove he had begun healing from his grief.  
He was only offering her a chance to get to know him, but Betty had to be honest with herself. Where did she really think this would lead? At best in a very short-term relationship.  
Maybe she and Mike would actually get to know one another and eventually find something together, but how could anything she might have with him (no matter how hot he was!), compare with everything she and Daniel had shared?  
She knew the man so well, and like it or not, he knew her, too. What was that thing Hilda had said during her speech at her wedding again? Something about knowing someone better than they knew themselves and wanting to protect them. Hilda had said, that's what love was. And that was precisely what Daniel had been doing, wanting to protect her.  
She knew this, and part of her was completely aware of the truth of it, but still, she couldn't just let go of her anger yet at Daniel's arrogance and she also couldn't tell if the things he had been saying to her since they had set out on their little adventure were anything other than a reaction to her new look. He hadn't said anything about love.  
She let the hot shower wash over her and revive her, happy for the feeling of warmth.  
She flashed back to the difference between how she had felt when Mike had kissed her. As nice as it was, she reluctantly had to acknowledge she had felt more electricity in her brief moment of contact with Daniel downstairs, the promise she felt to experience that 'first kiss', before Mike had interrupted them.  
She agreed with Daniel that she was grateful that the first time they kissed could be just about them.  
Betty knew she probably wouldn't have implied she expected some kind of kiss-off between the two men, had she not had too much to drink. He had only seemed to hesitate because he knew her well enough to know when she sobered up she would have regretted 'cheapening' their first kiss like that.  
And understandably, he had been upset with her for trying to force him into some sort of showdown with Mike that would do that in the first place.  
She wrapped a towel around her, and almost walked into the bathroom door as she noticed outside her window, Mike and Daniel chopping wood, she assumed in preparation for the upcoming storm Mike had told them was forecasted for the next day. She had to stifle a laugh, because it was clear that Daniel had no idea what he was doing.  
Even though she worried the man might chop his leg off or something, she couldn't help but appreciate the view from her second story window of both men, who had evidently recovered from their time in the freezing lake in the Jacuzzi and now were extremely hot (in every way) from the sweltering heat of the humid late August afternoon, and their physical exertions.  
Daniel was still in his boxers and Mike had thankfully (or not) put his back on, too, so both men were shirtless and sweating as they swung the axes over their heads. Betty stood away from the window to avoid being seen.  
Daniel glared at Mike, thinking this guy was REALLY starting to piss him off. There had to be something the movie god sucked at doing. "So, did you learn to do this growing up here in Kansas?"  
"Actually, no. I never had a fireplace when I was growin up. I learned on one of my first films, El Dorado Dreams. If you remember, I had to play a farm hand and I learned how to ride a horse and chop wood for the role.  
It's a sorta perk to bein an actor that you get to do a little on the job trainin for a whole lotta different lifestyles, ya know? I can actually speak a little Mandarin, thanks to that part I had in A Hole to Peking"  
Daniel was trying his best, but finally gave up, almost dropping the stupid axe as Mike tried not to laugh at his 'competitor's' incompetence.  
Daniel sighed, "Yeah, I guess so. So…are you really going to take Betty to Hollywood with you? Mike, look…I know I don't stand a chance competing with you in anything. Clearly, you're better than I am at…well, everything.  
I USED to think I at least was good at one thing, even though I wasn't necessarily always proud to be known for it, but now, I don't really know about that, either. I gotta admit, you intimidate me even more than my brother did before she became my sister.  
Not just because you seem to be able to do everything better and um bigger than me, but mainly because I'm scared to death you might take away the best thing that ever happened to me-and that's having Betty in my life.  
She's so mad at me right now that she's probably going to go off with you. But all I ask is if she does go with you; be good to her.  
She deserves everything amazing in her life. She is the sweetest, kindest, yet most stubborn, determined, and downright infuriating woman I've ever had the pleasure to meet.  
God knows she deserves better than me, she deserves her own movie star Prince Charming, I guess. God knows, I've screwed up so many times over the years and she's always forgiven me, even though I didn't deserve it.  
I obviously wouldn't be able to really threaten you much, either, but I swear to you, if I ever find out that you hurt her, just remember, you might be this big Goliath in every possible way, but there was this kid David that brought Goliath down eventually and I'd be just like him, throwing rocks at you until I eventually brought you down." He shook his head, visibly shaken.  
Just…be nice to her, okay? She's something special. She deserves the best. Obviously, that's not me." He swung down the axe onto the stump and wiped the sweat away, walking away from the star, seemingly conceding defeat.  
Betty had been watching, pacing nervously, trying to figure out what the men were saying to each other, and although she had to admit, part of her sort of enjoyed seeing them act like a couple of idiots on her behalf, sweating in their underwear, she was curious about what they were saying.  
She tried desperately to drown out the voice in the back of her mind, the one that sounded like Amanda, with Marc next to her, chiding, "Betty, do you really think your little make-over was going to get you those two hotties?  
Face it, they're probably down there, right now, laughing that you honestly think either one of them would really go for you! I mean, Mike Hilberg? He's like a super-hot movie star! He could have any woman he wanted. So why would he want you?  
And Daniel? Really, Betty? If he had EVER wanted you, don't you think he would have said something before now? Don't kid yourself!"  
She buried her face in her hands, trying to ignore the taunting voices of self-doubt, the years of self-loathing that had been literally beaten into her by past tormentors.  
In many ways, Amanda and Marc had gone easy on her in her years at Mode. At least, they had never actually stuffed her in a locker or written terrible things about her on the ladies room. Well, scratch that, they had done the last one. But Daniel had made Marc go in and clean it off when he found out about it.  
Still, she took a deep breath, drying her hair and getting dressed in one of the other dresses Daniel had grabbed from the Closet for her. This one was a simple purple wrap dress that hit every curve just right.  
She freshened up her make-up and looked around for her shoes, but realized she must have left them outside earlier.  
As Betty glanced in the mirror, she gave herself a weak smile, and tried to see past the years of hurt, and teasing, and torment, and see herself as someone would who had just met her.  
She went down stairs quietly, and spied Mike sitting on the sofa, freshly showered, watching the fire as it roared, and sipping a cup of coffee. He gave her a gorgeous smile, complete with the dimples as he saw her, "Hey, Mike. Where's Daniel?"  
He nodded silently to himself and sighed, giving her a much smaller smile now, "You know, I told myself that as long as you didn't ask about him the very first thing when you came down here I was gonna ignore what my gut's been tellin me ever since I met you, Betty."  
She didn't say anything, but sat down next to him, looking at the fire. He grabbed her hand, intertwining it with his own and kissed it,  
"It's okay. I know you're in love with him, Betty. I'd yell atcha fer not just bein straight with me and tellin me to begin with, but I figger you didn't know yerself and maybe still don't realize it. I know yer a smart lady.  
But you two…are both so dang stubborn and blind I can't rightly believe you've been friends and workin together for four years and ain't never done nothing about how ya both obviously feel about each other.  
New York must be a REAL confusin place to keep you both from figurin out what it's taken me less than twelve hours to see clear as day."  
Betty tried to protest, but he reached over and kissed her cheek, then grinned at her, squeezing her hand.  
"Look, I called Pete back and he's sendin the copter to pick me up tonight, so I can get a head start on that movie. I'm not takin back my invitation, Betty. I just don't expect you'll take me up on it.  
But, my offer still stands. If you honestly think you still want to come see me, I'm sendin another helicopter back tomorrow at noon, so just tell the pilot if you do want him to take you to my private plane at Wichita airport to California or if you're goin back to New York with yer old boss/friend, new boyfriend.  
You're both welcome to stay here longer if you want, but I'd recommend gettin out while the gettin's good before the big storm gets here tomorrow afternoon or else you might be here an extra day or two till you can leave again.  
I've already told Pete to contact yer photography department and set up the cover shot first thing. It's been an honor meetin you, Betty Suarez."  
She wasn't sure how to take this sudden change of heart, "What makes you so sure…about Daniel and me, Mike? Like you said, you just met us."  
He put his hand along her cheek, "I don't have to be a genius to see how much Daniel loves you, Betty. He was so sure he wasn't good enough for you, he sorta gave up, because he thought I was what you wanted.  
Basically he told me I'd better be good to you, or he'd keep throwin' rocks at me like Daniel and Goliath."  
"Daniel? I thought it was David?"  
He laughed, "Yeah. Me, too. He was just sayin if I had you with me, I'd better be good or he'd keep comin after me, until he brought me down, I guess. He said you were the best thing that ever happened to him and that he knew he didn't deserve you.  
I see how you light up when he's around, too, Betty. You two have somethin pretty special. It reminds me of what I had with Daisy.  
You're both dang lucky. Not everybody finds that one person they can share everythin with, good and bad. Somebody who's a witness to yer life, somebody to prove that you're important, that you matter to them.  
That's a real special thing, Betty. I'm happy fer you both. Truly. Y'all give me hope. Well, I'm gonna go finish packin now. The pilot should be here soon."  
She nodded, "Good luck, Mike. Thanks for everything. I'm really glad I met you, too."  
While Mike went upstairs, Betty stayed on the sofa thinking about all he had said about her and Daniel. She stifled a laugh as she saw Daniel come in, carrying more wood for the fireplace that he had obviously been working hard to chop, to prove some kind of point that he could do it himself, evidently.  
The wood he had chopped, unlike those that Mike had already brought in, was far less uniform in size, and had very ragged edges, as if he had had to chop them multiple times.  
She saw him look up at her, struggling to hang onto the wood. "Hey."  
"Hi, Daniel. Do you need any help?"  
"I got it. Thanks."  
"Nice outfit." She smiled, noticing he hadn't bothered to put anything else on yet.  
"Right. Where's Big Mike?" he seemed slightly bitter, she thought, but didn't comment.  
"Upstairs packing."  
"Already? Yeah, well, I guess a movie star probably doesn't pack light, huh?"  
"I guess not."  
He looked down at his lack of clothing. "I'd better go take a shower and put on some clothes. You look really beautiful, Betty. I like you in purple."  
"Thank you, Daniel. You look…um, hot-and sweaty." She tried not to smile too big.  
He nodded, not really sure how she meant that. "Yeah, okay. Well, I guess I'll see you later, then."  
"I'll be here. Oh, Mike made some coffee. I think I'm going to go get some. Do you want a cup when you come back down?"  
"Yeah, sure. Thanks, Betty. No bagel." He gave her a slight smile.  
"I'll see if he has some fruit and cheese or something, maybe, though."  
"Sounds good." Then he looked upstairs,  
"I can…just hang out upstairs if you two… want to be alone, though. I'm not really all that hungry."  
"Daniel. Wait."  
He looked at her, his eyes dark, with an unspoken sadness behind them. "What's wrong, Betty?" He knew her too well.  
"I just…you don't need to hide upstairs. Please come on down and have a cup of coffee with me when you get changed, okay? We need to talk."  
He nodded, looking down at the ground, with his hands on his hips, breathing heavily from his efforts. "Okay, Betty. I won't be long."  
About ten minutes later, Betty heard a loud noise outside and saw Mike's helicopter landing in the clearing behind the lake. She started to go and let Mike know, but he had heard the noise on his own.  
He came bounding down, holding a fairly small suitcase and a duffel bag over his shoulder, smiling ear-to-ear. "Well, I'm off! Thanks fer helpin me find my smile again, Betty! I guess I'll see you if I see you, but I have a feelin you and Daniel might be too busy making up fer lost time. Good luck!"  
She smiled and rushed to hug him, whispering in his ear. "Thanks for being my Wizard of Oz, Michael Hilberg. You're definitely the nicest big movie star I've ever met."  
He laughed, "Yeah, I'll try to take that as a compliment, Betty. How many have you met?"  
She smiled, "Well…"  
"That's what I thought. Well, have fun in Oz, then Dorothy. Good bye."  
"Goodbye, Mike." He went out to the waiting helicopter and waved to her.  
After Mike left, Betty went upstairs, and heard Daniel still in the shower. She knocked on the bedroom door, and seeing it open, she stepped in quietly.  
Daniel stepped out, startled to see her, "Betty! What the hell? Why are you in here?" He quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around him.  
"I told you, we needed to talk, Daniel."  
"Well, would you mind waiting till I get some clothes on please?"  
"No. I'm sorry, but I'm done waiting, Daniel."  
"Excuse me? Where is your new boyfriend, anyway? Isn't he going to be pissed that you're in here with me naked?"  
She couldn't help smiling at his obvious embarrassment. "You're fine, Daniel.  
He stood in the bedroom, waiting to see what she had to say, still dripping from the shower. "Well? What's so important?"  
She took a deep breath and walked up to him, then slid her arms around his wet, bare back, "This."  
She stood up on her tip toes, looking up and pulling him down towards her, and she gently kissed him.  
He didn't resist. Then as she deepened it, he gradually responded and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her tighter towards him as they continued to kiss, more and more desperately, Daniel grabbed her face in his hands and their tongues dueled, as they hungrily explored each other.  
Finally, Daniel pulled away slightly as they came up for air, and smiled, "Great first kiss, Betty. But, where's Mike?"  
"Gone. It's just you and me, Daniel. Finally. Now, get some clothes on before I molest you and join me downstairs for late snacks and coffee, maybe a little dancing and some serious making out on the couch.  
Because if I stay up here much longer with you like this, I won't be able to resist you." She grinned, patting his backside lightly through his towel as she headed back downstairs, smiling to herself.  
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Chapter 12: Chapter 12  
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Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 12  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ugly Betty!  
A/N: Thanks so much to my readers for listing this and other of my stories as your favorite or following. And as always, I really appreciate your reviews!  
Daniel and Betty will be getting a little reminder soon that they aren't the only two people in the world. But not before they have the chance to see what they've been missing. Just to let you know, I'll likely be bringing this little tale into a more mature rating next time. (Betty really shouldn't have 'poked the bear', teasing him like that!) Then, they will have some interesting adventures on their way back from Oz, as well.  
Betty was humming softly as she went about getting coffee and snacks for herself and Daniel in Mike's kitchen.  
The kitchen was state of the art, and though much of his cabin was fairly rustic, he had spared no expense in having all the amenities his celebrity paychecks supported.  
She had to laugh, thinking boys were boys, and they all seemed to love their little remote control and other high tech gadgets, especially 'rich boys'. And in spite of his hometown speech and easy manner, that definitely included Micheal Hilberg.  
She halfway expected his refrigerator to say 'please and thank you' as he had joked to her when he had showed her around the place.  
She jumped as she felt a hot breath behind her, "A penny for your thoughts, miss peeping tom. Were you just thinking about how great I looked naked?"  
She shook her head, and turned around, smirking, "Well, lucky for you, you got that towel on pretty quickly, so I didn't really have time to make even a mental 'side-by-side' comparison."  
He rolled his eyes, "Hey, that's not fair! THAT GUY is NOT normal! The guy's some kind of perfect robot from the future, with anatomically correct, though highly exaggerated features, and does everything far above and beyond us mere mortal men."  
She giggled, "I know, right? I almost wanted to trip him or something. I was sort of like, 'come on! You've got to suck at Something!"  
Daniel laughed, holding up his hands for her to 'high five' him. She did, shaking her head. "I can't believe you just said that, Betty. I was thinking the same thing earlier when I was out there, sweating like a pig trying to chop that damn wood like Paul Bunyan and he put me to shame at that, too, of course.  
That's way too hard! I never did really get how he was doing it before I gave up. He said he learned it for a part for one of his movies."  
Betty nodded, "El Dorado Dreams, probably. That was where he was a farm hand and had to ride a horse and chop wood."  
Daniel rolled his eyes, "I should have known you'd seen it. I can't believe I thought I was going to actually beat him at anything to try and impress you."  
She blushed; looking admiringly at his very nice arms and chest in the wife beater he was wearing, along with sweatpants, that she couldn't help thinking would come off easily. "You were trying to impress me?"  
He gave her a look, "Come on, Betty. You knew I was. I've been trying to ever since we got here and met Mister Perfect. I don't think I've ever felt like such a complete and utter failure before in my life!  
But…tell me, why did you let Big Mike Hilberg, movie star god, and possible future porn star leave by himself? Just so you could stay here, and ogle me in the shower? Did I win a bet or something that I'm unaware of? Or did you lose one? I mean, I'm flattered, but I don't really get it. Why did you stay?"  
She handed him a cup of coffee, and took a sip of hers.  
"Come on, Daniel. You know me better than that. Did you really think I would go off to Hollywood with some movie star I just met?  
To what, become his groupie or something? Believe me, you're all I can handle. If you hadn't been acting like such a possessive jerk earlier, I would have told you that to begin with, Daniel."  
He looked down at his shoes, "Betty, I know that if I tell you I was more than slightly drunk on beer which as you know I don't normally drink that much, and insanely out of my mind jealous it’s not nearly good enough.  
I'm even tired of hearing myself ask you to forgive me. I honestly didn't think I stood a chance in hell that you would-yet again.  
I figured I would be here, by myself, having to fight off all six of the poisonous varieties of snakes, the Chupacabra and Big Foot entirely on my own, trying to use my pathetic GPS that Mike said would be useless in the storm to try and find my way out of here!"  
Betty laughed at him softly. He put down his coffee and reached out to hold her by her arms. Betty placed her hands lightly on his chest. "Daniel…you are so goofy sometimes. I love you." She looked up at him, staring at those blue eyes she couldn't get enough of.  
He raised his eyebrows, "You do?"  
She gave him a sideways glance, and shoved him slightly, "Yes, I do. And I hear the feeling is mutual, Daniel. Mike told me some of the things you said."  
She giggled slightly, "Like that you thought he was Goliath and you were…David? You need to get out a Bible or something, DANIEL! You got your stories mixed up."  
He reddened slightly, "Geez, did the guy tell you every silly thing I said?"  
He shrugged, dropping his grip on her, "I thought I had lost you to him, and I was upset. I didn't really know what the hell I was saying."  
She put one hand up to his cheek and he grabbed her around her waist, holding her close to him.  
"You thought you lost me? When did you ever HAVE me to lose in the first place?" she teased.  
He leaned his forehead against hers.  
"I know you're not MINE. I need to stop thinking that way about you. But I can't help it. I just always think of you as 'my Betty'. I sort of liked it when they called you Daniel's 'girl' at Mode, even though I know you hated it."  
"I didn't hate it for the reason you think, Daniel. I hated that everyone thought you were giving me special treatment and that I didn't really work hard, that's true.  
But more than that, I hated that they sort of said it ironically. Like I could never be one of 'Daniel's girls', as in the kind you would send necklaces from Tiffany's to, you know?"   
"Betty, I…"  
She put her fingers up to his lips, "It's okay, Daniel. I know you've never thought of me that way before, and why would you? But that doesn't mean it still didn't kind of hurt my feelings that they said it like it was a joke. Like I was a big joke."  
"Yeah, well, I'm sorry they hurt your feelings, Betty. I'm sorry if I ever hurt your feelings. But looks like the joke's on them, because not only do I want you to be my ONLY girl, but I had to fight one of the biggest movie stars on the planet to get you. So those mean Mode girls can all go suck it."  
He cradled her face in his hands and kissed her briefly.  
"You are beautiful, and smart and by the way, what Mike told you is true; I do love you, Betty. I was too blind and stupid to know it until I almost lost you to him."  
She smiled, "I guess you're too good of a fairy godmother."  
"God father sounds better. Yeah, I guess so!"  
She put her hand up to her mouth, remembering, "Oh, no! Daniel, my shoes! The Jimmy Choo's! They're still outside, from when I went into the lake. They'll be ruined if it rains."  
"I've got my flashlight. Hang on; I'll go get them, Cinderella. Sit tight."  
After about ten minutes, he returned, holding her shoes. They seemed fine, but Daniel was somewhat worse for wear. "Man, it's really getting windy out there!  
When did Mike say that storm was supposed to happen? Because I think we should look for candles and be prepared tonight, just in case."  
She rolled her eyes, sitting on the sofa, after she had stirred the fire. "I found some candles in that drawer, Daniel. And there are matches right here by the fireplace."  
"Look at you, always on the ball, Betty."  
"Daniel. Can you please sit down and talk to me?"  
"You really think that's a good idea, Betty?"  
"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"  
"Because, maybe you trust me, but I don't know if I trust myself. If I sit down next to you, I'm going to start hitting on you, now that I know you won't slap me. You WON'T slap me, will you?"  
"I don't know. That depends on how bad your 'normal behavior' gets."  
He sat on the far end of the couch from her. "You know me, Betty. I can't help myself. I have very bad habits. I don't want to make you mad at me."  
She laughed at him, "You're being really silly. It's not like we haven't been alone together before, Daniel, Hundreds of times. Just because I look a little different now shouldn't make that much difference with how we act."  
"Except that we both just finally admitted we love each other, Betty. So, it does make a huge difference. Plus, you don't give that dress enough credit, honey.  
You look seriously hot right now! If I sit next to you, I think I might just have to molest you. It would be a crime against my gender for me not to." He grinned, leering at her dress.  
"Daniel. You are the one who picked this out for me, remember? To wear for Mike!"  
"I know. I must have been insane. Well you know I've never been all that smart."  
"Don't say that about yourself. You are smart, Daniel."  
"I'm smart enough to know if I sit next to you, I won't be able to control my hands."  
She laughed, and pulled his arm to bring him closer to her. "I'll take my chances. I want to snuggle. It looks really dark and stormy out there. We may just have to stay here and keep each other safe from the storm." She put his arm around her.  
"You really like to live dangerously, don't you, Betty? Well, don't say I didn't warn you."  
She smiled as he leaned forward and kissed her, holding her face in his hands. They kissed passionately for several minutes, before Daniel's other hand dropped and started sliding up her dress. Betty grabbed it. "Okay, hold it right there, mister."  
She pushed away from his kisses, and held him at arm's length. "Daniel, you're right. This is too fast."  
"Why? It's not like it's our first date or something, Betty. I already know you WAY better than most women I've been with."  
"Yeah, and reminding me of that little fact isn't going to exactly help things in your favor, Casanova. That's exactly WHY I haven't even thought about you and me as well…you and me before.  
Not to mention the fact that let's be honest, before you did your little fairy godfather thing, you wouldn't have given me a second glance, obviously. Case in point, in all the times we've been alone together, I've never once had to worry about your 'reputation' before."  
He sighed, and leaned back against the sofa, "Betty, that's really not true. Most of the times I thought about molesting you before, you were either asleep or…I just well, yeah, okay, I guess when you looked different, I did stop myself more.  
But not because I still didn't think about it to begin with. I just felt like such a big perv. Because you looked younger, and more innocent, and it made me feel like some old lech or something, you know?"  
She nodded, "I guess that makes sense. So, where do we go from here, though? I don't know if I'm quite ready to go from zero to sixty yet, Daniel, even having said what we said." She looked up at him, biting her lip.  
"Well then, you're going to have to stop acting so damn sexy, because right now, my heart feels like it's going to explode if I don't make love to you, Betty. Tell me you don't feel the same way about me."  
She shook her head, rolling her eyes and smiling at him, "See; now THAT is where you would have pulled ahead of robot boy."  
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Chapter 13: Chapter 13  
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Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 13  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ugly Betty/wish I owned Eric, if only for one night!  
A/N: Hmm…it seems like the 13th chapter is where I usually let Daniel get lucky! Just to give you fair warning, the fire isn't the only thing that gets hot here. There are interruptions, of course, but, either way, Betty is in for some loving, have no fear. (Lucky girl!) She shouldn't have teased a man like Daniel, if she didn't' want it. (But of course, we all know she did!)  
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Daniel laughed, "Thanks, I'll take that as a compliment, Betty, but PLEASE stop even thinking about him, okay?  
I USED to be fairly secure in my manhood until today! I don't particularly want to be compared to THAT, though! You'll be wishing you went to Hollywood."  
"I don't think so, Daniel. Because you're right, I do feel the same about you. I won't say I'm not scared, though. I mean, if for some reason, things didn't work with us as…more than friends, does that mean we're going to lose the friendship? It's like Let's Make a Deal. I don't want to get stuck with the burrow and the uh-oh music."  
"Huh? Betty, what the hell are you talking about? Are you calling me a jack ass?"  
"NO! Of course not. But, you know, the game show? I used to watch it with my mom, ages ago. They had…"  
"Okay, Betty, I've seen the show; I just didn't get the analogy to us. Please enlighten me."  
"Because, Daniel, if we take a chance on something better, what's behind door number two, say, then we have to trade in what we've already got that's pretty special and that's how close we are as friends."  
"Why would we have to give that up? Don't you see, the friend thing will only make everything else that much better? We're not losing anything.  
And why wouldn't things work as more than friends? You're breaking us up now before we've even started anything? Where's my little optimistic Betty?  
The girl who still tried to make things work with guys who cheated on her and got other women pregnant, and who couldn't commit to one career at a time, or even stay in the country!  
If you kept working harder than all those losers to try and make your relationships work, think how much better things will be with me?  
Plus, I've already sewn all the wild oats I'm ever going to need to sew, so cheating won't be a problem. Unlike less experienced guys, I know exactly what I'm missing and I know it's not all it's cracked up to be.  
The few times I did have a relationship with just one woman, I wasn't really tempted to cheat on them like lots of guys are, because I saw that being with one woman you love is way more fulfilling than sleeping around."  
She raised an eyebrow. This is an interesting theory, Daniel. So, what you're saying essentially is, you know what it's like to sleep with a lot of women, and therefore see that you won't be missing anything by being faithful to me?"  
"Exactly. Plus, don't forget, Betty. I saw what my dad's cheating on my mom did to her first hand.  
It not only ruined their marriage, even though I know they really did love each other, but it messed up me and Alex pretty badly, too. It screwed up our whole family.  
I compare that to what your family has, you and Hilda are so close to your father still, partially because you have his love for your mom as a really good example of what love should be.  
Don't you think I want that, too? All the money in the world didn't buy my dad happiness. He messed things up for himself with all his stupid affairs. I mean it killed Fey, it made my mom drink, and it sort of ended up killing him, too, really.  
Believe it or not, even with my terrible reputation, or partially because of it, I should be the poster boy for NOT cheating once you are actually in a relationship with the woman you love."  
"And you're sure I'm that woman, Daniel? The one you love?"  
He nodded, moving closer to her "Yes, Betty. I've never been so sure of anything in my life. You are most definitely that woman. The one I love. The one and only. Now, please stop teasing me! I knew I should have never let you leave the shower earlier."  
He traced his index finger down her arm slowly, watching her reaction, and smiling,  
"I should have gone with my first instincts and just pulled you into the shower with me. We'd already be on round two by now."  
"Daniel, that was three hours ago."  
He raised an eyebrow, "Exactly, Betty. See what we're missing? So, please tell me why we're in this holding pattern, when you know we're going to be great together? You tease me and now you're putting flags down on the play? Why exactly? What are you afraid of? Me?"  
She caught her breath as he was now inches from her. She whispered, "NO, not you, Daniel. It's me. What if I'm not that good? I haven't…you know like a million times or whatever, like you. What if I'm not what you're used to?"  
He smiled, and whispered against her lips, "Well, first of all, I don't think it's been a million times."  
She gave him a look, and he just chuckled, "Well, REGARDLESS, honestly, I told you, I really don't mind teaching you stuff, Betty.  
Remember what I said before about needing to do the kissing over and over till we got it right?  
I mean, that turned out to be pretty amazing from the start actually, and I really think EVERYTHING else will be great from the start, too.  
But if for some reason, it's not perfect the first time, I'll be more than happy to give you one on one tutoring sessions. No extra charge. I'll just have to keep drilling you until you get it right." He kissed her cheek, grinning at her.  
She blushed, "You're really bad, Daniel."  
"You know you love it, Betty." He smiled and raised his eyebrows seductively.  
She nodded as he pulled her into another kiss. Betty pulled his shirt off and he unzipped her dress, and slid it off over her head.  
Then he began planting kisses down her neck and his eyes lit up, looking at her bra. "God, you're so beautiful." He mumbled as he began reaching around her back to unfasten it, as he kissed her deeply.  
Unfortunately, Daniel's phone vibrated, making them both jump, and him snap her bra.  
"Ow! Daniel!  
"Shit! Perfect timing. Of course this thing works now! Sorry, Betty."  
She shook her head, rubbing her back, "It's okay. But you should get it, Daniel. Who knows when we'll get another signal out once this storm hits full force."  
He nodded, and reluctantly answered the phone. "Hello. Who's this?"  
"It's your sister."  
"Alexis? You're calling me from Paris? Wow, you must have a really good phone. I'm out in the middle of nowhere and haven't been able to call out all day. What's up?"  
"What's up? Oh, I don't know, Daniel. Why don't you tell me? You and Betty are on all the news channels everywhere.  
Mom's actually excited, but some people were telling her she should report you as a missing person and Betty's family is totally freaking out wondering why you basically kidnapped her and carried her off to Kentucky for some kind of hillbilly elopement or something. What the hell is going on? Did you get her pregnant?"  
"Huh? That would be impossible right now. I mean, no, of course not! Kentucky? No, no. We're in Kansas. We came to get Mike Hilberg… wait, did you say elopement? As in married? Who said that? We didn't get… Alexis?"  
A huge tree suddenly sparked with lightning outside, making them both jump, and Daniel looked at his phone. "Krap, I just lost my connection, again."  
"That was Alexis? Why on earth was she calling? Didn't your mom tell her we talked to her earlier?"  
"I think so. But Alexis said something about your family thinks I kidnapped you and took you to Kentucky to elope! And she said it's on the news."  
"WHAT? Elope? Who would…oh, my God, Daniel. Is this because Justin was confused about us? But, no one ever said we were going to Kentucky. And why would they think we were eloping? Oh, that kid and his dramatic imagination!"  
Daniel's brain was racing, trying to remember his brief conversation with Betty's nephew. "Well, we were in a hurry. He brought you Hilda's clothes. Then, when he and I talked, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure he did say something about it being romantic. And then he said that stuff about a honeymoon."  
"Oh, no! Daniel, this is all my fault. I should have told him immediately we were going for work. Now everyone thinks we're…"  
Daniel looked at her, grinning, and reaching for her, "Well, so? So what if they think we're here together? We kind of are, Betty, or were just about to when my sister called. So, let's just pick up where we left off, shall we?"  
He started to kiss her neck, but she pushed him away, "But Daniel, even if they thought we were here in a romantic way, why would they think we were eloping? Justin wouldn't just come up with that!"  
They looked at one another, "MARC!"  
"He probably said that as a cover or something to Wilhelmina!" Betty shook her head.  
"Yeah, the little weasel can never stand up to the evil witch."  
"She scares you, too, Daniel. You know she does." Betty laughed.  
He looked at her, somewhat surprised, "You're not…upset? Having the world think we eloped? And in Kentucky, for some reason?" he laughed lightly.  
She shrugged, "I guess not. I mean…oh, God, wait, Kentucky? Do you think Marc told them that I was, you know…pregnant or something? And that's WHY we would feel like we had to run off and-get married?"  
He didn't want to mention that Alexis had asked him the same thing. He shrugged it off.  
"Who knows what crazy story Marc came up with in the face of Wilhelmina. I'll never forget the time she sent him over to my place and I caught him playing around in my underwear drawer so he pretended to have a crush on me!" He made a face, shuddering.  
She laughed, "Hey, at least you didn't have him kiss you and have to pretend to be his girlfriend all night, like I did!"  
He chuckled, "That's right. I almost forgot, little chimi-changa girl! Well, do you want to keep trying to get a signal out to at least let your family know we're in Kansas and not Kentucky and that you are not Mrs. Daniel Meade…yet?"  
She looked at him sharply when he paused, then added the yet. "Yet? Daniel…"  
"Don't freak out, Betty. I was just kidding."  
She looked outside at the trees blowing wildly in the wind, "I have a feeling we've got more fun to look forward to with the storm. I wonder if we should call Marc back and find out if he did do this to help take the focus off of Wilhelmina's blunder with Mike. "  
He wasn't really listening to her at this point. He had started nuzzling her neck, pushing her hair aside.  
"Daniel?"  
"Can we forget about work for once, Betty? I really don't care about Mode right now, or New York, or Wilhelmina, or Marc…or anything or anybody except you and me."  
Her eyes had gotten big, as he began kissing his way down to her collarbone, and toying with the straps on her bra, playfully.  
She was having a hard time not totally melting into the man. "Um…Daniel? Are you…thinking what I think you're thinking?"  
He whispered, "What am I thinking, Betty?"  
"Uh, it's just that…if you are planning on…actually doing something out here, I don't think it's safe."  
"Safe? I think the storm has died down for now, Betty. But, I want you to feel ready, though. I don't want to push you. Although you know you really shouldn't have come on to me in the shower, if you weren't ready.  
That wasn't very nice. Normally women don't kiss me when I'm that naked and get to just walk away. At least, not for a really long time and not very well."  
"Daniel!"  
He laughed, "What? Look, I know you're still stalling, Betty. And we also both know you wouldn't have come up there and kissed me like that if deep down you didn't want something.  
You know me well enough to know that was like a challenge to my manhood. I may have not been able to win at anything against movie boy, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let your challenge to me pass, too!"  
She seemed a little scared, "Don't you just want to watch the storm and cuddle?"  
The wind was blowing loudly outside by now, and they could see the trees getting whipped around.  
"Cuddle? Seriously? Um, Betty, you have MET me, right?" He raised one eyebrow, but seeing her look of anxiety, he sighed, and put his arm around her, protectively, "Sure, Betty. We can…cuddle for a while and just watch the storm." He kissed her on the forehead, as she buried her head in his chest.  
After several minutes, they both relaxed, Daniel leaning against the back of the sofa, and Betty, still resting her head on his bare chest, with his arm around her. There was a loud crash of thunder, and she whimpered softly, "Oh, God, that sounded close!"  
He lifted up her head, "Hey, it's going to be okay, Betty. We're safe here. I promise, I won't let anything bad happen to you. Ever."  
She looked into his eyes. Those gorgeous eyes that she trusted so much, "I know you won't, Daniel." Her heart was beating faster and faster, but it had nothing to do with the storm raging outside. She was raging her own battle, the one of 'crossing that line' that would take her and Daniel from friends to lovers.  
He smiled at her, and suddenly, he saw that look he had seen her give Mike that he had envied so much. Her look of confidence. Confidence in him, in herself, and in them together. But there was something else there, too. Trust, desire, love?  
"Daniel." She said softly, in a way that affected him all the way to his core. He always loved hearing Betty say his name.  
She had all these different, adorable ways of saying it that instantly let him know what she was thinking. But he had never before heard her say it like that before! He didn't think he'd ever heard anything so damn sexy before in his life.  
She smiled and he raised an eyebrow in his way that asked the question, and she only had to say one tiny word that would turn his world upside down. "yes."  
He instantly smothered her with kisses, and as she sank onto the sofa, with Daniel on top of her, kissing her excitedly, she let out a small giggle of nervousness. But soon, she felt the heat from his intense, deepening tongue exploring her and she suddenly didn't feel like giggling anymore.  
He pushed the coffee table aside and pulled Betty gently down on the rug with him, as he kept his eyes on hers, cradling her in his arms, in front of the roaring fire, but not so close to be too hot. They had enough heat already going.  
Daniel had started kissing his way over all her wonderful curves and down to her stomach and was 'teaching' her not to tease him again, unless she meant business.  
"Oh, Daniel!" she moaned, and he smiled, knowing she was close, and once he was sure she had been satisfied again, he gave her a questioning look, like a little boy.  
He'd never seen her look at him like this before. She seemed both happy and curious, which as he was finding out was a very, very good thing for him.  
She surprised him with her skill and before he quite knew what was happening, she had him so close to the edge, he was fighting with himself to maintain his sanity. "Betty, wait, honey. Don't…God; you're going to end me. It's too soon. Just hold on, okay? Let me just get…"  
"It's safe, Daniel."  
"Oh. Right. Great. But, are you okay? I mean, are you sure?"  
"God, yes!" he smiled, to hear his Betty so excited and ready for him. He couldn't help but be aware of the fact that now; she really was, finally, his.  
________________________________________  
Chapter 14: Chapter 14  
________________________________________  
Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 14  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ugly Betty!  
Betty woke up in Daniel's arms, then fell back asleep. Later, she looked around, noticing Daniel must have carried her upstairs sometime very early in the morning.  
She looked up to see him coming through the door, smiling, holding a tray with crackers, cheese, spam, and some pineapple in a bowl. He had also found a fake flower and put it in a small vase. Betty smiled, "Breakfast in bed? With no power? Oh, Daniel, that's so sweet!"  
He shrugged, seeming slightly embarrassed.  
"I know, fake flower, canned pineapple and I'm not much of a cook, I'm afraid. But, the storm sort of blew away the few flowers that were around outside.  
Betty smiled, and pulled him down for a kiss, "Definitely very thoughtful, Daniel. Not to mention, you carried me upstairs?"  
He shrugged, "I didn't want us to wake up with a back ache from lying on the floor all night. Plus, you sort of acted scared. Not that I minded comforting you."  
He grinned, taking a bite of spam, "Mmm… spam, delicious."  
"Good, then you're going to love my cooking."  
"I've had your cooking, Betty, remember? It's-great." He made a face, and gave her his famous thumbs up.  
She hit his arm, "Shut up, Daniel. It's not ALL bad. I can make some things."  
"Sure, Betty. If you count ketchup and mustard as an ingredient for spaghetti!"  
She laughed, "HEY, I was out of tomato sauce. It was all I had in the fridge. Ketchup has tomatoes in it. I didn't know the mustard wouldn't really work."  
He laughed, "Well, it made a great appetizer for the pizza we ended up ordering, I guess."  
"That really would suck about living out here. I think I'd lose a lot of weight, I guess, not having any place that delivered!"  
"Are you saying you don't like my cooking?" he fed her a bite of pineapple.  
"Mmmm….delicious, Daniel. Even though you didn't really COOK anything." He rolled his eyes, as she fed him a bite.  
Suddenly, the rain outside seemed to take a turn for the worse, and the wind howled. She wrapped her arms around him.  
Daniel laughed, "I never realized how much fun storms can be. Betty, it's okay. It's not like we don't have thunderstorms in New York."  
"Yes, but I'm worried about having to stay here for days. Mike said he was sending another helicopter for us today, before noon.  
But I doubt they'll be coming now, until this storm blows over. It must have come much earlier than they forecasted."  
He was sitting on the bed, next to her, and put his arms around her. "Oh, no! We're in a cabin, by ourselves, with nothing to do for two or three days. What will we do with ourselves?"  
He laughed, "Um, sounds kind of fun to me, Betty. We have food. We have water. Who needs electricity?  
You found the candles, we have the fire downstairs. And as far as the helicopter goes, we found our way in here without one; we can still get out the way we came. We'll be fine, honey."  
She sighed, "I hate it when you're calmer than I am, Daniel. But I sort of like you calling me honey."  
"Okay, honey. Yeah, it even has the same amount of syllables as your name and ends the same. Easy transition. See, Betty? Transitions aren't that difficult, are they? And you were worried!" he smiled, and gave her a kiss.  
"You're right. We'll be fine. We might lose a little weight with your 'cooking', but I'm sure that's a good thing for me. As far as everyone at Mode is concerned, especially."  
He sat against the headboard, next to her, with his arm around her, and stroking her hair. "Are you worried about that? What people are going to say back at Mode about us, you know, being together?"  
She shrugged, "Maybe a little. But whatever it is their going to say, I'm sure their already saying by now. Since we're apparently big news back in New York."  
He shrugged, "I know this is one of Wilhelmina's publicity stunts perpetrated by Marc. But, I don't really care. We could fake everybody out, Betty. Act like we really did…you know, elope."  
"And why would we do that?"  
"Why not? Positive publicity for Mode. Everybody loves a love story. Plus, I'd take you off the market. I don't want to have to deal with what I went through with mister movie star once we get back to civilization. We'd tell everyone eventually.  
But if all the hot guys back in New York think you're already married, I won't have to compete with them to keep you."  
"Keep me? Wow, Daniel. We really need to work on your whole man/woman dynamic. I love you, Daniel. But, "  
He grinned, and kissed her briefly, "Thanks, Betty. I love you, too, sweetie. And I love YOUR butt, too."  
"But, that doesn't mean I'm your property."  
"I know that. When I say 'keep you' I just meant, I want you all to myself, as far as other men are concerned, that's all. Is that so crazy? Or too much like I want to 'own' you?"  
"No, and it's not like I want to date other guys. I'm just wondering about career, though. What if I got a job offer somewhere else besides Mode? Would you be okay with that?"  
He thought a minute. "Not that I don't want you to be happy, doing what you want, but personally, I'd miss you too much. I like working with you. I sort of miss having you as my assistant, since you've been an editor. I like us, as a team. Don't you?"  
"Yes, of course, I do. But…do we HAVE to talk about fashion? There are other things to talk about that are meaningful."  
"I agree. You know, I've actually been thinking the same thing lately. I saw that piece you wrote about how there are all these programs in the US, the UK and other places in the world that recycle tennis shoes.  
It was really cool, Betty. But it wasn't just a great story. I was thinking it might be a great idea for a whole magazine devoted to things like that, positive things going on in the world that people could find out about and share with each other; spread some good works or charity around.  
It gets really old talking about all the negative and backstabbing, and I don't just mean in fashion. But there are actually a lot of great charities and organizations out there that are doing a lot of good, too.  
It would be great to let readers know where to find them. We could feature a different theme every month, you know, like homelessness one month, education the next."  
She smiled, "You're not running for political office, are you? You're serious about this?"  
"Yes, I'm serious. Betty, remember, I got handed this job and I'm grateful for it. I know a lot of people are struggling and I'm lucky to have a job at all, but it's not really what I would have chosen for myself.  
Matt's not the only guy in the world to be inspired by you. And some of us are selfish enough to want to be inspired with you next to us, not across the world. In fact, if I had my choice, we'd be together most of the time."  
"Most of the time, huh? But not all the time?"  
He shrugged, smiling, "Hey, I know, we both need our space from time to time. I wouldn't want to smother you like mister 'miss you much'. But I do like the idea of us working together on starting our own magazine. What do you think?"  
"I think that sounds really exciting, Daniel. It also sort of sounds like you were a little jealous of Matt. How come you never said anything before?"  
He picked up her hand, "What was I supposed to say? That Matt's a duffus, Betty! Dump him and go out with me? You're too nice for that. It's like I said, you always gave all your boyfriends way too many chances." She gave him a look.  
"Okay, even as I'm saying this, I can see that it may have worked in my favor a time or ten that you're so forgiving. So, forget I said it. Now that I'm your boyfriend, feel free to give me as many chances as you want." He squeezed her waist.  
"Chances to do what, exactly?" She looked up at him, narrowing her eyes.  
"I don't know. Say or do something stupid, I guess. You know I will. I always do. I don't mean to let you down or screw up, Betty. It's just in my nature.  
I don't always make the right choice the first time around. Or sometimes even the second or third."  
"You're smarter than you give yourself credit for, Daniel. You don't need me that much."  
"Yeah, I do, Betty. You're like the little voice in my head now. When I'm thinking about doing something stupid, I can hear you telling me it's dumb and then I usually don't end up doing it. Or if I do, I feel like you're yelling at me. Even when you're not around. It's kind of annoying."  
She laughed, "Sorry, Daniel. I don't mean to be an annoying voice in your head."  
"Don't apologize, Betty. I'm glad you came along. My life was pretty much a booze-soaked, orgy without any meaning.  
Then you came crashing through it with your perky little brace face, crazy clothes, and glasses telling me how to do things your way or the highway and making me actually feel my life for a change." He grinned at her, kissing her lightly on the cheek.  
She smiled, and hugged him, "That's got to be the most offensive, yet somehow sweetest compliment you've ever given me, Daniel. Thanks, I think."  
After two days and nights of being 'stuck' in a deserted cabin in the woods with Daniel Meade, Betty was feeling like she wasn't minding Kansas one little bit.  
But, although neither of them was mentioning it, they both knew that sooner or later, the 'outside world' would come crashing back in on them and their little world would be…well, different, at least.  
They had a lovely meal of macaroni and cheese, boiled in a pot over the fireplace, that Betty was almost proud of and Daniel had actually seemed to enjoy.  
Mainly, they were thrilled to eat anything other than fish like they had the first two days, so they wouldn't have to throw it away, and since other than the small amount of cheese, and a jar of peanut butter, it was the only protein.  
For his part, Daniel seemed to be bursting with manly pride that he had actually somewhat improved his wood chopping skills, as well. And Betty thoroughly enjoyed watching him do his 'Paul Bunyan' routine to impress her.  
On Monday morning, the power was still off and although they had found a generator that helped them keep the fridge running for a while, they decided to clean the fridge and turn off the extremely noisy thing.  
Betty was wearing her one pair of jeans, and one of Hilda's shirts that Justin had thankfully thrown in with the dresses she had worn for Daniel's benefit. She had her hair up in a ponytail and was cleaning the fridge, when Daniel came running in, sweating and sexy as hell, grinning, "Hey, Betty, I finally got a really good signal; guess who's on the phone?"  
She shrugged, "Hilda?"  
"No. But we'll call your family right away and let them know you're okay, I promise. No, it's our favorite brainless 'helper' who just admitted to me that Willi was in fact, the culprit behind the whole eloping rumors."  
Betty grabbed the phone from Daniel to 'tear Marc a new one' so to speak. "MARC!"  
"Ooh, Betty! Wow, you almost sounded like Wilhelmina. I see being shacked up with Daniel has had a positive effect on you. See, aren't you glad I helped you two crazy kids finally find your groove thing?"  
"Marc, you probably freaked out my poor father, saying I was kidnapped! Thank God, he knows Daniel well enough not to be too worried about me as long as he knew I was with him. What did you say to the press about us?"  
"I never said you were kidnapped, Betty. I simply said that Daniel Meade had run off with his former assistant, Betty Suarez to whereabouts unknown and that the rumor around the office was that there had been some discussion of eloping.  
Your son is the one who got things messed up and said Kentucky instead of Kansas. I blame the sorry state of our public school system."  
"Marc, you know very well Justin is my nephew, not my son. I don't have a child."  
"Not yet."  
"What?" She was afraid of what was coming.  
"Well, no offense, Betty. I personally think your look of shabby-hideous is to vomit for, completely charming/disarming, but in order to keep Suzuki and some of the other press hounds salivating, Willi insisted on adding the juicy possibility of a future Meade heir into the mix. Oopsy-poopsy! Sorry. Gotta go, Betty, boop. Toodles!"  
"MARC! Oh, my God, I'm going to kill you with my bare hands!" but he had already hung up.  
She turned to Daniel, who was smirking. He shrugged and gave her one of his looks that said he could care less what anybody thought, as he put his hand gingerly on her stomach, "Well, it looks like congratulations are in order for us, mommy, dear. That was pretty quick, huh? I must have really fast swimmers. Personally, I'd like twins. How about you?"  
She shoved his hand away, "NOT funny, Daniel! Why aren't you just as freaked out as I am about this?  
You do realize, women from New York to Paris to Milan are going to be putting up dart boards with my picture on them now. I just hope their aim isn't better than yours."  
"HEY, don't shoot the messenger, Betty. I didn't do this! Marc and Willi did. But, I'm suffering, too.  
If people think I'm married, that means I lose my status as most eligible bachelor. I'll have to relinquish my crown." He tried to make her laugh, but he could see it wasn't working.  
"There are still enough women out there that wouldn't care if we really were married, Daniel. In fact, they'd probably consider it a challenge to see how long it would take to get you into bed. Besides, I thought we…"she looked hurt.  
He put his arm around her, "Okay, as much as I personally wouldn't mind playing along with the whole married with children routine, I can see this is upsetting you.  
And you know I was only joking about the whole bachelor thing, Betty. I don't care about that anymore, obviously. I love you.  
Look, why don't you call your family and let them in on the joke, okay? Meanwhile, I'll go get us packed up for our hike back to civilization.  
It's time this tin man got you back from Oz, Dorothy." He swung his axe down on the stump to go inside.  
"Tin man? Wouldn't you be the scarecrow?"  
"What? Scarecrow! Thanks a lot, so you think I'm brainless, now?"  
"You think you're heartless? And no, I just meant he was like her sidekick, you know, her friend, that's all. Like you said, the scarecrow was actually smart. Daniel, for goodness sakes, it was just a metaphor."  
________________________________________  
Chapter 15: Chapter 15  
________________________________________  
Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 15  
Disclaimer: I don't own/don't sue!  
God, men could be such babies, Betty thought, as she gathered together her things. She knew Daniel was hurt, and he was trying to act like he wasn't, which was almost comical to her. Or at least it would have been if he wasn't being so annoying.  
"Daniel, do you have the lighter? In case we need to start a fire?"  
"Yes."  
"And the flashlight?"  
"Yes."  
"And the…"  
"And the knife, in case I have to defend us against one of the six deadly varieties of snakes in Kansas, out of the thirty-eight different species.  
Yes, Betty, I have everything we need. At least, I THINK I do. Of course, I'm sure you can tell me if I'm not thinking right, can't you? Especially since I'm just a loveable idiot!"  
"Daniel, you're being ridiculous. You know that, right? I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I didn't mean anything."  
Betty knew that whenever she hurt Daniel's tender ego back in New York, as his friend, she usually had to just ignore him, let him have some space and after he had a chance to think about, he would come find her, tell her some lame joke and things would be back to normal.  
But she wasn't sure exactly how to deal with things now, given their new 'dynamic'. First of all, she couldn't exactly ignore him. They were the only ones there.  
She knew he would normally use sex rather than talk about his feelings. Should she? Should she initiate sex, THEN talk about things afterwards?  
Daniel was all packed up and seemingly ready to go this afternoon. Betty looked at her watch, and realized that since it was after two, it would probably be wiser to wait until the next morning to set out, so they wouldn't get stuck out in the woods in the dark.  
But the last thing she wanted to do was question his judgment right now directly, so instead, she decided to distract him. She heard the water running in the shower and stood in the doorway trying to decide if she should wait.  
"Gotcha!" Daniel grabbed her. "You were NOT just coming in here to mess with me again, were you, Betty? I let you get away with it once.  
I can't believe you really thought I was going to fall for you coming in here a second time! You really MUST think I'm stupid."  
"Of course not, Daniel. I just wanted to…talk to you, that's all. Although, I must admit, you were running around in your underwear all day, sweating and looking all hot. I am only human. I can only take watching you for so long before I succumb to your charms, Daniel."  
She traced her finger around his chest, looking up at him, and trying her best to flirt, even though she felt rather silly.  
He had grabbed her around her waist. He looked at her, rolling his eyes, "Succumb to my charms, huh?  
Just how stupid do you think I am, Betty? Don't answer that. But, still, you are kind of cute, trying to seduce me just so you can make up with me for calling me dumb."  
He pulled her closer and kissed her deeply, then grinned. "You'd better stop messing with me when I'm naked, though. You might actually end up liking it more than you bargained for, Honey."  
She giggled, "Daniel, cut it out. I just came upstairs to talk to you. I didn't know you were in the shower until I got to your door. Then when I heard the water running, I was just going to wait till you got done.  
He nodded, as he started kissing her ear, and whispered, "You realize you're STILL a terrible liar, Betty."  
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Daniel."  
"Sure, Betty. Tell me how smart I am."  
"You're VERY smart, Daniel."  
"Convince me, Betty." He started kissing his way down her neck, and pulling her towards the shower, as he took his towel off.  
She giggled, "You really like me telling you how smart you are?"  
He shrugged, "Hey, what can I say, Betty. I'm surrounded by Amazon women who all treat me like an idiot all day. Getting treated like I'm not a total moron by a woman who actually well, literally looks up to me and who really seems to value my opinion for some crazy reason is sort of a…turn on."  
She smiled, kissing him, "Really? Hmm…let's see. Have I told you I think you're brilliant?"  
"Gee, thanks! You're so convincing, Betty. But, I think you have WAY too many clothes on right now.  
Let me help you. No phones up here, so I'm pretty sure I can be a lot smoother with that bra for starters. We'll just see how things go from there."  
As Marc was editing a story, Amanda came by to see if he wanted to go out for lunch. "Hey, Marc! I did something kind of mean and I'm almost feeling sorry for it."  
"Ooh, tell me about it, Mandy! Whadya do? And who did you do it to?"  
"Betty. I feel sort of bad. I thought it was funny, and I'd just get a laugh, to cheer her up, since Matt left, you know?  
But I'm thinking now, it may sort of backfire, and she might not be so happy."  
"Mandy! What did you do to Betty? Ooh, did you staple her pajamas again?"  
"No. I um….switched out her birth control pills for diet pills. I was just going to tell her that she'd have a lot more luck NEEDING birth control if she lost a little more weight  
Although, I have to admit, after having seen her in the shower, a lot of her bulk was kind of the ugly clothes she always wore, until I helped her come out of her shell.  
Since Matt left, I didn't figure she'd need them, anyway, you know. Betty never gets her freak on when we go out clubbing. It's like she's a nun or something."  
Marc's eyes were bugging out, "Um, Mandy, I don't know how to tell you this, but…I just talked to Daniel and Betty. You know how they've been missing all weekend, right?"  
"They have?"  
"YES, I told you this, and it's been on all the news, haven't you heard? No one was able to reach them on their cell phones, because they've been out in the wilderness since Friday.  
Actually, Willi had me leak to the media that they ran off to get married, but I was secretly helping them get Mike Hilberg back for the cover that she lost."  
"Really?"  
"Mandy, I told you this before."  
"I think so. Did I look like I was listening?"  
"YES, but what I was going to tell you is…I talked to Daniel today and he admitted that he and the chalupa finally got together."  
"WHAT? Betty and Daniel? You're not serious, Marc, are you? Wait, so that means…"  
"MANDY! What did you do? Why would you do something so…devious?"  
"You suggested it, don't you remember?"  
"Not really. How many chocolatini's did I have?"  
She shrugged, "I don't know. But come on, it's Betty. Do you really think she actually had sex with Daniel?"  
"Well, he didn't come right out and say that. But he sort of made it seem like it. He even acted happy about the whole eloping thing. He didn't even care about Willi lying about him and Betty. In fact, I never heard him sound happier."  
"Happy because he slept with Betty? Are you sure? Well, okay, maybe they both were really drunk and bored in the woods and they did it once, but…"  
"Once? Are you kidding me, Amanda? We're talking about Daniel, remember?"  
"You're right. Oh, poor Betty. I feel like maybe I should warn her so she doesn't keep having sex. Hey, maybe they have condoms, though. Daniel is usually always prepared."  
"Yeah, but he wouldn't have brought any going with her. It's not like he went there knowing they would be having sex."  
"Well, no. But, maybe he had some extras with him. Do you think I should try and warn her?"  
"Probably. It's what a friend would do."  
They both laughed, but she sighed, "No, but really, Betty is KIND of my friend, now. A little."  
"See if you can reach her, I guess. Tell her to stop having sex with Daniel."  
"I almost feel sorry for her. She finally gets her freak on with Daniel and now I've got to tell her to stop. That's going to be hard for her."  
"Or him."  
"Ooh, Marc. You're so bad."  
The next morning, at the crack of dawn, Betty and Daniel set out on their trek back out of the woods.  
Daniel was teasing her, since she had been forced to let her jeans dry on their own in the sun and they had shrunk a bit.  
"Geez, Betty. Do you think you could get those jeans any tighter? Are you really trying to imitate your sister?  
Especially wearing her shirt. Which looks really great on you, by the way. Very sexy. In fact…" He turned around and grabbed her to kiss her, but she pushed him away, giggling.  
"Daniel, stop. We have to keep going. We did this all night already, not to mention when we first got up this morning.  
I'm sorry, but we don't have time right now. We need to get out of here. So stop looking at me like that."  
He grinned, leaning close to her and mumbling into her temple, "I don't know what you're talking about, Betty. How am I looking at you?"  
She held him out from her, and rolled her eyes, "Stop with the puppy dog eyes, already, will you? I'm not falling for that, again. Besides, there might be snakes out here, remember? You hate snakes."  
"You're the one who's afraid of snakes, Betty. I'm fine. I've got my big knife." He patted his jacket confidently.  
"You're going to kill a snake with that knife?"  
"If I have to. Sure."  
"That I'd almost like to see, Daniel."  
"I'd do it to protect you, Betty. I mean, I did just go up against the biggest action hero in Hollywood for you, and look who ended up riding off into the sunset with you? Or at least hiking off into the woods, anyway."  
She giggled, "Daniel. I'm serious. Stop being so cute. We have to get to the road, and back to Wichita.  
Then, we can get a hotel there for the night, and catch a plane back to New York sometime tomorrow."  
"What's the hurry? I'm really starting to like Kansas. And you're cute, too, by the way."  
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Chapter 16: Chapter 16  
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Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 16  
Disclaimer: For entertainment purposes only  
________________________________________  
As Daniel tried to kiss her, Betty suddenly jumped, and turned to the side, "Daniel! I'm serious. I just heard something."  
He sighed, "Betty, I think you're just jumpy. I didn't hear anything. But, we'll wait to we get to the hotel in Wichita. We can't really do anything out here, I guess.  
Come on, let's get going. Can you keep up? Make sure you drink a lot of water and take nice even breaths, alright?"  
She nodded, "Yes. I'm breathing, Daniel. Hey, were you really serious about starting a magazine together?"  
"Yes. I was. I'm sort of tired of working so hard and having to fight against Wilhelmina all the time. This thing she did with us is just so typical.  
I mean, I was almost feeling sorry for her and then she pulls this kind of stunt; lying about us just so she can cover up her mistake."  
"Why were you feeling sorry for her?"  
"I started thinking about how hard you've worked and how you've helped me so much the last four years.  
I mean, you know, she actually had a point when she got me so upset that time before your Blobby award, Betty. You have pulled ahead of me. And if I'm honest with myself, she's worked harder and for a lot longer than I have at Mode, too.  
Let's face it; I wouldn't have gotten my job without having the last name of Meade. My dad gave me my job, but she worked for it."  
"But, Daniel, since your father gave you the job, you have earned it, too. You've worked just as hard as she has. Aren't you the one who told me it doesn't matter how you get the job, it's what you do with it after you get it?"  
He grinned, stopping to take a drink then putting his arm around her, as he handed her the water, "Quoting me back to myself, Betty? See, that's one of the reasons I love you. You actually listen to what I say.  
And I appreciate your support, I really do. But, you know what you said about Mode? And not wanting to be in fashion anymore?  
I was serious, before. I think I want to do something on my own, too. Start over, on my own. Prove I don't have to be given a job to succeed. There's just one catch."  
"What's that?"  
"I know I can't do it without you, Betty. I need your support. I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to as long as I have you next to me. But I'm smart enough to know I can't live without you."  
She stopped and hugged him, "Thank you, Daniel. You can be really sweet sometimes, you know that?"  
"Thanks. You know I'm really serious, though. I can't do this without you. So, when we get back, after we make sure the cover with Mike is a hit, we can both quit Mode and start our own magazine?"  
Betty's eyes were wide, but she stopped and shook his hand. "It's a deal, Daniel. I'll be your partner in a new magazine."  
He looked at her hand, "Seriously? Your shaking my hand? Hmmm…not my preferred way to seal the deal, really."  
"Well, sorry, but given the fact that we're still in the middle of nowhere, it's the best I can do. Besides, shaking hands is a lot more appropriate for a business partnership than what you're thinking of doing."  
He pointed to the clearing ahead, "Correction, Betty. We're almost out of the middle of nowhere. Look, I see the road through there. We're getting close to the highway. Let's see if we are getting a signal yet, so I can call my driver again."  
"Good, you can give him his huge knife back. I'm scared to death you're going to castrate yourself with that thing."  
"Yeah, me, too!" he admitted as he tried his phone. "Damn! I let the battery go dead. Can I use your phone?"  
"Sure. Here."  
He took her phone, and as he listened, he nodded as it was up to his ear, "It says you have messages, Betty."  
"Oh, good. See who it was. It might have been Hilda. I could never get through, but I tried to send out a text, although I never found out for sure if she got it."  
He listened as they kept walking. His eyes got wide, and then he looked at Betty somewhat strangely. He pressed a few buttons quickly.  
She looked back after a few minutes, "So, who was it?"  
"Huh? Oh, just the wrong number."  
"Well, if I'm getting a good signal, let me have it so I can finally call home and tell everyone we didn't really elope."  
Daniel threw her phone into the woods, "Oops. God, I'm so sorry, Betty. It slipped right out of my hands. Let me go get it."  
She kept walking for a little while, then turned around to see Daniel walking up to her, holding her phone in his fingers gingerly.  
Betty put her hands up to her mouth, "Oh, my God, what happened? Did Big Foot eat it?"  
"No, I was looking around on the ground, but I didn't see it and I accidently stepped on it. Sorry, Betty. I'll buy you a new one, I promise. A really good one."  
"That's okay, Daniel. I guess we can just get yours charged at the hotel and use it."  
"Yeah."  
"Are you okay? You seem kind of freaked out or something."  
"No, I'm fine. Just thinking about us. You know, our future, the magazine. A lot of things have changed pretty quickly."  
"Are you sure you're not…are you sorry…"  
He pulled her towards him, "Betty, God, no, honey. I'm not sorry about anything to do with us. Well, other than not realizing sooner how great we are together.  
Or how much I love you. Betty, I know you're going to think this sounds nuts, but marry me."  
She turned around to face him with her eyes wide with shock, "Daniel! You can't be serious! Marry you? Just like that?"  
"Just like that? You're kidding, right? Betty, come on, think about it. Who else has a right to elope more than us? We've known each other longer and more intimately than most couples that have already gotten married and divorced.  
We get along so well; I even get annoyed by how frickin cute we are sometimes.  
I love you, Betty. And you love me. What else is there to think about? So, we don't have a big wedding.  
I think I know you well enough to know you're not really the type to want a huge spectacle, which you know marrying me would turn into if we wait.  
I know you want your family there, though, so we can call them if you want and fly them here or wherever. I just really want to be married to you. I'm sick of being the man-whore. I'm ready to end all that crap and just be your husband."  
He tried to get down on one knee, but she pulled him up, "That's okay, Daniel. You don't have to do all that. I get it."  
"I don't have a ring, yet, either. But, we'll get one as soon as we get to civilization, I promise."  
She looked up at his eyes, as he held her close. "God, I think you're really serious!"  
"I am, Betty. This has nothing to do with the whole stupid Mode thing and the press. I don't care about any of that.  
It has to do with the fact that I'm thirty-seven years old and after four years of building the best friendship I've ever had in my life, I finally realized I'm completely in love with my best friend.  
I don't want to wait another minute to start a life with you, Betty. Whatever that means. I'm okay, as long as we're together. I know I can handle anything life throws us."  
She still looked shocked, but was somewhat misty-eyed, "Wow! Daniel, I'm…I don't know what to say. That's absolutely the sweetest, most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me.  
I…love you, too. I think you're really impulsive and maybe a little nutty right now, but…very, very sweet. I don't know…"  
"Betty do you want to say yes? Just go with your heart. What do your instincts tell you?"  
"Honestly? Say yes, before he changes his mind, and realizes you're not a model."  
He laughed, and kissed her, holding her face in his hand, "I told you before, I want you. Not some swizzle stick. I like your curves. Very much. I love your big boobs, okay? And your ass is pretty awesome, too."  
"Daniel!"  
"What? Look, I'm going to need an answer, Betty. I just got a text from Derek that he's going to be here in a few minutes. How about we tell him to take us to the nicest hotel in Wichita, and then we see how long it takes to get married in Kansas. If there is some kind of wait here, we can always fly to Vegas or Niagara Falls. Which is closer, smart girl?"  
"I think they're both pretty much the same. Vegas might be closer, but there would be more chance of our being spotted by paparazzi there, so Canada might be better. Plus, it's closer for our families to get to."  
Daniel looked at her, somewhat surprised, "Is that a yes?"  
Her heart was going a mile a minute right now. But Betty knew what her answer had to be.  
"Daniel, this is the most insane thing I think I've ever done in my life. I know it is, in fact. But…it's you. I love you. I think I always have on some level.  
I know both of us were affected by not only Molly's death, but seeing a guy like Mike and how much he probably wishes he had more time with Daisy. Plus, after seeing what my sister went through when Santos died, you're right; we love each other, so who cares about a big wedding?  
And especially given who you are, it would be some big media nightmare. That was really never my dream. I just want to be with the man I love. And that happens to be you. Of course I'll marry you." She hugged him.  
"You will? Betty, that's fantastic! Here's our ride."  
As they got closer to Wichita, they kept staring at one another, grinning like idiots. Daniel intertwined his hand with Betty's and brought it up to her lips.  
She put her head against his shoulder, and sighed, contentedly. "I still can't  
believe we're doing this."  
After twenty minutes, Daniel's conscious over lying and deliberately destroying Betty's phone got the best of him,  
"Betty. I've got a confession to make. This is one of those times that I really need you to hear me out completely, though, before you say anything, okay?"  
"Daniel, I swear, I DON'T want your magic number, okay? I really don't need to know, as long as you were safe and there were no diseases, crimes, or illegitimate children involved, I'm really okay not knowing."  
He laughed, "No, that's not the problem. Although, thanks for that. This has to do with safety, but with us. Look, I just don't want you to think what I'm about to tell you has anything to do with why I asked you to get married. So, I have to be totally honest. How do I say this? Betty, you might actually be pregnant."  
She laughed, "Okay, sure. Daniel, I told you, I…"  
"Yeah, I know what you told me, Betty. But the message I just erased on your phone before I destroyed it was from Amanda. It seems she thought it would be hilarious to switch out your birth control pills."  
"What? Are you kidding me? With what? What did she give me?"  
"Diet pills."  
"Oh, my God! Are you serious? That little…"  
"I know. I can't believe she did that. But, listen, the only reason I'm telling you this is I want you to know, I did sort of panic for like two seconds, Betty.  
You know; typical guy stuff. The big nightmare reaction most guys have the minute they hit puberty, oh my god, I might have just gotten a girl pregnant, what do I do?  
But I realized right after that two seconds, that I was really happy to think you know, that could be the case with us. I wasn't panicked in the slightest."  
"You weren't? Really? Because I sort of am."  
"No, and I'm not just being mister white knight trying to rescue you, either, because I know you could handle it if you did have a baby. I'm sure you could. You'd be a great mom, single or otherwise. I've seen how great Justin is, and I know you had a lot to do with that, Betty. Hell, you act like a mom to everybody, me, your family.  
But, the fact that I felt so calm about it made me realize just how much we belong together, you know? I mean, that's kind of like the ultimate test for a lot of couples and it still didn't scare me a bit.  
The only thing that gives me any kind of fear is worrying that I might lose you, to another job, or another guy."  
Betty was somewhat surprised at herself, but she, too, was calm when, once they charged his battery, she used Daniel's phone to call home, "Papi? It's Betty. Um, do you guys all have your passports?"  
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Chapter 17: Chapter 17  
________________________________________  
Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 17  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Sue not, I tell you!  
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Once they had arrived at the Hyatt Regency in Wichita, it was turned into wedding central control.  
Daniel was pacing, talking to Alexis in the next room, while Betty was on the hotel phone with her family.  
"Um, Justin, listen, I'll see you guys in Canada, okay? Love you."  
"Okay, AB. You know Niagara Falls is so retro it's almost in. You guys are going to so boost tourism there! They should comp you everything!"  
"Well, that's great, Justin, except part of the reason we're going there is to avoid publicity in New York or even Vegas, remember?"  
"Oh, right! Well, anyway, congratulations, AB! I'm going to go call Austin and get packed!"  
Alexis seemed almost relieved to hear of Daniel's impending nuptials. "Well, at least you're going to make it legal, thank God!  
Wow, that's really something about what Amanda did to Betty! Tell me, honestly, are you totally freaking out now?"  
He took a deep breath, "A little, yeah. But not just because I might be a dad. I think we both know I already went through that with DJ.  
Thinking I was his father made me actually realize I really do want to have kids, at least someday. I really think that's more of a concern to Betty than to me. She is still focused on her career more than wanting a baby, so…"  
"Hey, I know, maybe you could let her work and you could be like John Lennon and do the Mr. Mom thing, Daniel. I'd pay good money to see that! You staying home, changing poopy diapers!" she laughed.  
"Hey, I could do it! But right now, Betty and I are going to start our own magazine. So, I don't know how kids would fit into that. I guess, you know, whatever; we'll just have to see what happens.  
Listen, I've got to go, now, I still need to call Mom and give her the information. So, we'll see you guys there, tomorrow, right?"  
"We're getting on a plane the minute I get off the phone, Daniel. I seriously wouldn't miss it. I love Betty. And Daniel?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I'm really proud of you, bro. Dad would be, too. I mean, he's sort of the one who found her for you." She laughed.  
"Yeah, I guess you're right. Well, I'm definitely grateful to him for that. Thanks, Alexis. I'll see you tomorrow. I don't know if Becks will be able to make it. So, can I have you on standby as my best…man?"  
"Sure! Although, I don't mind just being a groomsman, or a bridesmaid, either way, if you want DJ to do it. Hopefully Becks can get there in time, though. Congratulations. Now call mom, she's going to be jumping up and down!"  
"Thanks! Yeah, I think you're probably right."  
Betty saw Daniel through the door. She went in putting her hands on his chest and looking up at him, "Daniel, are you okay? You're pacing. Are you sure you still want to do this? You know, if you're having second thoughts, we can always just wait…"  
He shook his head vehemently, and pulled her closer, "God, no, Betty. I don't want to wait one extra minute. I'd have us married right now in the lobby downstairs if Kansas didn't have a stupid three day waiting period.  
Plus, I know we both want our families with us at least. Alexis and DJ can meet us there and now I need to call Mom. I sent a text to Becks to call me ASAP. Is there anyone else you want there?"  
She nodded, narrowing her eyes, "Yeah. I want Marc and Amanda there so I can throw them both into a barrel going over Niagara Falls together.  
But honestly, after we make them sweat a little, maybe we should thank them, too. I still say the pregnancy thing is what made you pop the question so soon, no matter how romantic you try to sound, Daniel." She grinned at him.  
He put his hands up, "Betty, I swear to you, it wouldn't matter one way or the other to me. I still want to marry you. Look, I'll prove it to you.  
Go get one of those home pregnancy early response tests and see if you are. And that way, we'll know for sure. I'm calling your bluff, Betty. I mean, just because we had unprotected sex a few times doesn't necessarily mean you're pregnant anyway."  
"A FEW times? Where did you learn to count, Daniel? I can't even remember how many times, can you?"  
He smirked, "Not really. But, it's still not for sure."  
She rolled her eyes, "Besides, it's way too soon to really tell anything. You know that. Fine, I'll get one, and let you call your mother, but I'm telling you it's not going to be accurate necessarily."  
"I know, but I think it would be nice to find out as soon as possible. I mean, obviously, we'll go check things out later, but…um, hey, maybe you should also get you know. Just in case."  
"You know? I'm sorry, Daniel. I'm not reading your mind right now."  
He rolled his eyes, "Condoms, Betty. Unless you want me to get them. I mean, now that we know your diet pills probably aren't really doing the trick. No sense in continuing to take chances."  
"I can't wait to see the clerk's face when I ask for both a pregnancy test and condoms. They're going to look at me like I'm some kind of idiot."  
He laughed. "Like I said, do you want me to go? We already know I'm an idiot."  
"Don't start, scarecrow. Nobody said that. But I don't think you can call yourself heartless anymore, either. Not when you just proposed like you did.  
I'm sorry about what I said before, Daniel. At the lake? Saying you weren't romantic. I was wrong. You're the most romantic guy I've ever met. Not to mention, definitely the best boss. And a very good kisser."  
He laughed, "Well, I think I'm a little more than your boss, who's a good kisser, Betty. Especially now. I'm your fiancé, right? At least for tonight. I know we still have to get you a ring, but we'll do that tomorrow morning, once we're in Canada.  
I wasn't too impressed that a four star hotel is the best they seem to have here in Wichita. And I still can't get over actually seeing a stop sign that said 'Whoa'!"  
She shook her head, as she kissed him goodbye, "Snob! I'll be back soon."  
As soon as she left, Betty leaned her back against the door, trying to get a handle on things moving so fast.  
She was right. The clerk at the drug store looked at her strangely, "Um, Miss, you do realize that…"  
She rolled her eyes, blowing out a breath, "I know, I know. Just put them both in the bag, okay?"  
She got back to the room in time to hear Daniel laughing. He looked up as she came back. "Okay, Mom. We'll see you there tomorrow afternoon. And, Mom? Thanks for handling everything. I appreciate it. Love you, too. Bye!"  
He looked at Betty, grinning from ear to ear.  
"Well, you've definitely got a big fan in your new mother-in-law, Betty. She's making all the arrangements, along with your sister. So, that should be an interesting combination.  
She said you'd better stop calling her Mrs. Meade now and call her at least Claire or maybe even Mom as long as you didn't think it was disrespectful to your mother."  
"Oh! That's really sweet of her. I don't think it would be disrespectful at all. But…I guess first I need to graduate to Claire."  
He nodded to the bag, "So, uh, which one do you want to use first, Betty?" he smirked.  
"Funny, Daniel. I was right; I got some very strange looks."  
"I'm sure you did. So, you feel smart enough to take a test?"  
She looked somewhat apprehensive, "I guess so. I mean, it's really not going to prove anything, you know. Either way. It's too soon."  
"I know, but…at least, well, if it already says positive, it's kind of more likely to be right, don't you think?"  
She nodded, "I guess so. Okay, so, pour us both a drink, since you got wine and let's just hope I can drink it with you."  
"It's non-alcoholic, Betty. I figured, just in case, it was better to be safe than sorry. Like you said, even if it says negative now, that doesn't mean you still might not really be pregnant. Good luck!"  
"To you, too. Which means, negative, right?"  
"Honestly, Betty, I'm fine, either way. Once you're done, I'm going to try and get through to Marc and Amanda and tell them they had better keep their mouths shut about where we're getting married or they won't be invited, and I'll let them know about your barrel idea, and that I'm definitely on board with it."  
"Hey, do you think we should invite Mike? Since he sort of got us together, too."  
"No way! I don't want you getting cold feet then changing your mind, and running back to California with him at the last minute, Betty. I heard him tell you his offer was still open."  
"You were eavesdropping?"  
"Yeah, well, you let him kiss you, Betty! When he was out there naked in the lake. Before we even had our first kiss. That kind of hurt, you know?"  
"You're right, Daniel. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let the gorgeous, naked movie star kiss me.  
Especially since I've already had sex with everyone with anywhere from a two-oh-one to nine-seventeen area code. Oh, wait, that was you, mister! Daniel, don't even start with the jealous routine.  
You don't have a leg to stand on. Get over yourself. I chose you, didn't I?"  
"Yeah. You did. Wait, so, I'm sorry, Betty. What are we arguing about? I forgot." He laughed.  
"I'm sorry, too, Daniel. You're right. I probably shouldn't have let Mike kiss me. But, he kind of took me by surprise. I know I shouldn't have kissed him back, though. I did just do that to make you jealous"  
"I know. It's fine, Betty. I don't blame you. I had it coming. You're right. Come here, I don't want to fight. I think we're both just a little nervous, maybe." He hugged her.  
"You're right. I'll be right back."  
She came back in a few minutes later, seeing Daniel pacing. "Well, so far, we're good, Daniel. It's negative."  
"Great! That's good news."  
"Why do you not sound all that relieved, Daniel?" She walked over to him and took his hands, "Daniel, did you want it to be positive?"  
He shook his head. "No, of course not, Betty. I know you need to work, still. Besides, I'm glad that you can see that my wanting to get married right away has nothing to do with you being pregnant. I told you I'd be fine, either way and I am."  
"That's great, Daniel. Although, all this proves is that I'm not showing positive right now. I could still be pregnant; it's just too soon to know yet. I know you're not good at waiting, but this is something we have to be patient about to really be sure we're really out of the woods. Literally."  
He laughed, "Funny, Betty. I know. So, let's call Marc and Amanda and mess with them a little."  
He grinned, "What did you have in mind, Betty?"  
"Just play along, okay, Daniel?"  
"Sure, I'm anxious to see how you get revenge."  
"It's not revenge. Just…well, okay, maybe a little. But they deserve it. Especially Amanda!"  
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Chapter 18: Chapter 18  
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Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 18  
Disclaimer: Don't own anything from Ugly Betty.  
Sorry, I think I may have switched my pronouns on the last chapter. It is Betty's brainstorm (of course!) to 'pay back' Amanda, Marc, and Wilhelmina.  
Claire was doing an incredible job at organizing the 'elopement'. She had ordered the flowers, arranged for the ceremony, and the catering. Justin was in charge of clothing, and Hilda was putting together the reception.  
Both the ceremony itself and the reception were to be a very low key affair, since this was a family and very, very few friends' invitation only wedding and everyone involved was sworn to absolute secrecy to prevent the press becoming involved.  
Becks was trying his best to get there from Samoa, where he had been working on a photo shoot for the past few weeks, but DJ was poised to act as Daniel's standby best man and Hilda, and Alexis were Betty's brides' maids.  
Plan 'Payback is a wicked Witch' against the unholy trio was in full swing, and Betty had convinced Daniel she had things under control.  
She was trying to think of who she could trust to film it for them. She had someone in mind, but wasn't sure Daniel would be on board.  
"Look, I know he's not really your favorite person right now, Daniel, but trust me, this will really put the final little spin to my idea.  
I mean, he's going to be involved, anyway. Plus, it will give us a great cover photo for the first issue of our magazine, too.  
Not to mention, Mike is the main reason you and I really got together in the first place. We would never have had all the alone time had we not been stranded in his cabin in the storm. You were so busy working lately, you didn't even notice me…"  
He looked at her, as she stopped, realizing what she had just said. He seemed somewhat amazed at her admission, "Go ahead, Betty. What were you saying? Notice you? Did you want me to notice you? When?"  
"Maybe. A little. At Hilda's wedding, Daniel. When you didn't bring that stupid Trista and I finally said goodbye to Henry. I did notice you watching me a lot that night. I sort of thought you might actually ask me out or something afterwards. But no, you just buried yourself at the office constantly."  
They were sitting up in the king size bed, with his arm around her. Daniel looked at her with the understanding of someone who has suddenly been given the rules to a game he had been trying to play without them for a long time.  
"Betty, you mean, you…wanted me before and you never told me? That's crazy. Why the hell didn't you just say something?  
How about back when I asked you point blank if you had a crush on me? I mean, you laughed at me, then ran out and kissed Henry right in front of me.  
What was that all about? So you're telling me Renee was right? Were you trying to spend time with me even back then?"  
"I don't know, Daniel. Maybe. Subconsciously or something. I just don't know. It wouldn't have mattered back then anyway. Because I was invisible to you at that point. I didn't fit the mold. I barely do now, and only because I got my braces off and YOU gave me a makeover for Mike, remember?"  
"Yeah, well, it worked, Betty. I'm sorry I didn't notice you before. I mean, really I did.  
And believe me, you were definitely NEVER invisible! I just needed to see what I had right in front of me. How special you were. I guess I did sort of need to see you in a different light before I could appreciate what a beautiful and amazing woman you were all along.  
I have known for a while now that I was starting to have feelings for you, though, Betty. I just kept denying it and telling myself I wasn't good enough for you and that you would never be able to get past…well my past and all the stuff you saw me doing.  
That's one of the reasons I've been working so hard lately, I think. I wanted to be more worthy of you. More like the type of man YOU would look at, too. I guess I sort of wanted you to notice me, too, as something besides your slutty boss whose messes you always had to clean up.  
Ever since I met you, I've been trying to win your approval, just like I always used to try and get my dad's. The difference is; you actually encouraged me and made me feel like I could accomplish something. You helped me believe in myself for a change."  
She laughed, "You know, that's almost funny, Daniel. It sounds like we both have felt something for one another for a while now, but I felt like I had to have a make-over on the outside and you thought you needed a make-over of your character before either of us felt confident enough."  
"I've always spotted you from across a room and been drawn to you, though, Betty. You know that. You don't need contacts or a sexy outfit.  
Although, I am a guy and I do like seeing you in sexy clothes, I admit. Or like now, with no clothes works, too." He teased.  
"Daniel! What am I going to do with you?" she rolled her eyes at him.  
"I have a few suggestions. And all of them are very dirty, my beautiful fiancé. You know, I almost want to take you out to dinner, just so I can show you off and refer to you to somebody as my fiancé, even if it is only for tonight."  
"Well, considering we have been doing…this all weekend at Mike's cabin, I could use a little break. It might be fun to see what something besides a bedroom looks like here.  
Although, I'm not complaining. It's been fun… and educational. As promised, you are a very nice private tutor, Daniel."  
He smirked, as he started to get up and get dressed, "I've got news for you, Betty. You don't really need my tutoring. Maybe we just know each other so well, plus you're so smart. Either that, or you've been holding out on me, having secret sex all these years."  
"Yeah, right, Daniel. I was in relationships, you know. I did have boyfriends."  
"Yeah, I know. I was there, front row seat as your 'best friend', remember, Betty?"  
"Daniel, cut it out. How do you always manage to sound jealous of my few boyfriends when you've had so many women? It's not fair. I'm sorry, but you don't get to be jealous."  
"I know. I can't help it. I realize I have an addiction. Don't you think I know that? I mean, Christ, I ended up sleeping with my therapist. That's so messed up! I'm probably an incurable case or something. I'm sorry if I'm driving you crazy wanting sex all the time."  
She sighed, and grinned, "I know. It's been really tough on me so far, putting up with your constant need for sex, Daniel. Especially since I've been told by my friends and family that I have my own addiction."  
He looked at her, "YOU? Addicted? To what?"  
"Not what, Daniel. Who."  
"Who?"  
"You."  
"Me?"  
She nodded slowly and ran her hand across his chest. "Yes, you, Daniel. I can't seem to get enough of you for some reason. I never have."  
A boyish grin spread across his face and he shrugged, "Well, then, I guess since we're both a couple of addicts, why fight it? We were clearly meant for each other, Betty. I can enable you in your addiction and you can enable and assist me in mine.  
I'll just tweak mine a bit to 'sex with Betty', but that should work out pretty well now. Hopefully, we can still function in society with these terrible afflictions." He kissed her cheek, as she got up to get dressed.  
"Daniel, I need to get dressed." She was wrapped in the sheet. "Maybe I should go in the bathroom so I can actually get dressed."  
"Yeah, I think you'd better. Otherwise, I've got to be honest; I'll probably just keep taking off stuff as fast as you put it on."  
She went and got dressed and came out in the black Gucci dress Daniel had 'grabbed' for her from the Closet.  
As they left their hotel to go out to dinner, Daniel asked again, "So, are you going to tell me this big plan of yours to get even with Amanda, Mark and Willi?  
I heard you talking on the phone with your other boyfriend when I was getting dressed. I am your fiancé, Betty. We really shouldn't have secrets from each other."  
She laughed, "That's so cute, Daniel. I think you just like calling me your fiancé."  
"You're right. I do. Hey, this is my fiancé." He shouted to a man walking by on the street when they exited the car to go into the restaurant.  
Betty laughed at him. She noticed most of the patrons were in boots and jeans, although a few of the women had dresses, as well.  
Betty looked at Daniel appreciatively, noticing his dark blue shirt and black jeans, that looked amazing on him. Of course. She seriously thought the man could wear a sack and look good, though, "This is MY fiancée!" she smiled, as one of the women looked at her somewhat coldly.  
Once they were seated, Daniel leaned forward, and kissed her. "That was fun. I feel like we're the city slickers in an old-fashioned bar or something, though. Believe it or not, this was the highest ranking place, according to the concierge at the hotel."  
Betty shrugged, "This place is fine, Daniel. It's like a steak house or something. You're just spoiled. This isn't New York, remember?"  
"You're right, Betty. It's fine. I'm starved. I'm just glad to eat something that's cooked over something besides the fireplace. I think I'm getting a nice big steak and baked potato. Although, I have to admit, your macaroni and cheese wasn't half bad, either, future Mrs. Meade."  
She blushed, "Wow, that sounds so weird."  
"Well, is it okay? I mean, I know you're very independent, but you are still taking my name, right? Or do you want to be called Suarez-Meade?"  
"No, I don't think so. I like Meade. I mean, you know. It's just kind of different, that's all."  
After they had both ordered, Daniel looked at her, questioningly, "Well? Are you going to let me in on your plan for revenge or not?"  
"No, I think you shouldn't be implicated, Daniel. That way, if anything goes wrong, you can honestly say you didn't know about it."  
"Well, okay, but I'm not crazy about Mike knowing about it and not me, though. It's not illegal, is it?"  
"No, of course not. I just want you to be surprised. It will be my groom's gift to you. Don't worry about Mike. I never wanted him, Daniel."  
"Right, not even when he was kissing you or you were kissing him or you saw him in all his uh…glory at the lake?"  
"Nope. I mean, he IS a very good looking guy. And he can do a lot of things, but…I don't care about any of that, Daniel. I love you. You know that. Fiancé."  
"Cute, Betty."  
"You know there's nobody else with your eyes, your um…"  
"That's it, huh? All I've got going for me as far as you're concerned is my eyes? Thanks, HONEY, thanks a lot for that."  
"Daniel, stop. I was just getting started. You didn't give me a chance. I also like you're smile and your laugh, and how sweet you are and how sweet your um…"  
"What? Go on. How sweet my what is?"  
She blushed, "Um…I guess your butt?"  
He laughed, "Okay. That's cute. Thanks, Betty. I didn't really know you were checking it out, but uh…thanks. I kind of like yours, too."  
"Oh, gee, thanks, Daniel. You kind of like it? Don't go out on a limb or anything declaring your love for me. I mean I'm only your fiancé!" He knew she was only teasing, but he acted agitated, to embarrass her.  
"Fine, you have a great ass, okay? Are you happy? You've got a really curvy, hot, body and you completely turn me on. Thanks, sweetie.  
Thanks a lot! Now I can't even enjoy my dinner without thinking about it. I'm so hungry, and you've exploited my addiction just to stroke your own vanity! I hope your happy, Betty!" he laughed at her face.  
She was looking around, embarrassed in case anyone had heard him. "Daniel! Don't make a scene. We're supposed to be hiding out from the press, remember?"  
He looked around, taking her hands across the table, "I don't see Suzuki coming here, Betty. I think we're pretty safe."  
"You're right. I'm just being paranoid. I'm really getting excited about seeing everyone tomorrow."  
"That's why you're excited? To see everybody? What about getting married? That doesn't excite you?"  
"Of course it does. I'm very excited. It just doesn't seem real yet. It's almost like I don't believe it until it happens, you know?"  
"I know exactly what you mean. Come here, fiancé. Let me kiss those beautiful lips." He leaned forward to kiss her, when the waiter brought their meal. "Here you go sir. And Ma'am."  
"Thanks. Thanks a lot. This looks great." Daniel rolled his eyes, then leaned forward and whispered, "I swear, between phones and now waiters, I can't seem to get to you."  
"You've managed."  
"Not nearly enough. We've got four years of lost time to make up for, Betty."  
"Isn't that what the honeymoon is for? Not to mention, we've had three days already. Which reminds me.  
I will let you in on this part of my idea, Daniel. I thought you could tell Wilhelmina that you need some time off to recover from losing the Mike Hilberg cover, and that you'll be out of the country for a few weeks, so she's in charge of Mode during that time."  
"And why would I tell her that? You helped me get Mike, remember?"  
She looked at him.  
"Okay, fine. You got Mike's cover. Why am I telling her I lost it, though? She is the one who messed things up."  
"I know that, and you know that. Deep down, she knows it, too. But that just means she is going to THINK she needs to get Mike back without you getting the credit. Right?"  
He grinned at her 'evil' smile, "I think I like Badass Betty. Very hot."  
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Chapter 19: Chapter 19  
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Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 19  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ugly Betty!  
Okay, readers, two more chapters ought to bring this little 'fairy tale' to a close. Hope you enjoy. As always, thanks so much for those of you who have listed this as your favorite or are following. And especially thank you very much to those of you who have reviewed!  
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"Are you sure this is the right place, Marc? Where in the world are we? Deliverance, Appalachia?"  
"This is the right place, Willi. The guide from Mike's staff is supposed to meet us here soon. He's the one who Daniel went on about in his email that he claimed got him and Betty out easily."  
"When? It's already been fort-five minutes. Do you have that contraption telling you where his cabin supposedly is? How far is it?"  
"Ten miles inside the enchanted forest here. But, Willi, don't tell me you're actually thinking about going in by ourselves? There could be wild creatures in there. Lions, and Tigers,"  
Willi narrowed her eyes at him, obviously annoyed, "Yes, and bears, I suppose?"  
"Oh, my!" Amanda's eyes widened, looking fearfully into the woods.  
Marc continued his objections, "I'm not made to be GI Joe Ken doll. These Prada boots were definitely NOT made for walking, and I have delicate features. I'm not even sure how long I'll last outside New York in this totally foreign environment.  
It's bad for my hair. And God only knows what this strange fresh-smelling air is doing to my complexion!  
Can't we just send Mandy in to find him? Just give her something that smells like Mike and she'll track him down. I mean, he's a hot, rich straight guy. She'll have him cornered in no time."  
"Marc! I don't want to go in that nasty forest by myself! What if there is some sexy British vampire or wolf with incredibly hot abs in there? And he wants to ravish me and…okay! Let's go! I'll find the rich, hot movie star! Just give me something expensive of his."  
"Stop being ridiculous, Moe and Curly. Have no fear; I'm armed. We need to find that stupid Neanderthal actor and put him on the cover, and make sure I get the credit for it! I've been through worse than this. After all, I've seen Betty's hair in the wind. Not to mention Bergdorf's during a 'sale' with poor people."  
After they returned to the hotel, Daniel was trying not to freak out. "I can't believe that happened again, Betty. I mean, I've honestly NEVER had that happen. Especially twice!  
Those must have been defective or something. I can just go get some more."  
"Daniel, I'm a little tired. Why don't we just take a break, no pun intended, until we get to Canada?"  
"You mean, after the ceremony? Are you kidding? That's not till tomorrow, Betty! You can't be serious?"  
"Yes, I am, Daniel. Be reasonable. It's one o'clock in the morning, in Wichita, Kansas. Where do you think you're going to go to find condoms right now? A strip joint? Not happening. I know you didn't get a bachelor party. But let's face it; your whole adult life has been one huge bachelor party, so get over it. Besides, I'm starting to feel like the universe is against us having sex right now, Daniel.  
We haven't done anything in four years and then during the one weekend we end up having marathon sex, we find out my formeralmost friend switched my birth control pills for diet pills thinking it was some sort of hilarious joke!  
And now, we get condoms that were evidently manufactured in nineteen forty-four or something when there was a shortage of rubber!"  
"So, what, you think we should never have sex again or something?"  
"No, of course not. That would just be wrong." She smiled, "A crime against nature. No, Daniel. Don't be silly. I just meant until after we're married."  
"You aren't going to sleep with me again until after we're married? Is it suddenly against your religion or something? May I remind you…"  
"Daniel, stop. Don't be so dramatic. You're acting like I'm telling you to wait forever or something. It's tomorrow at five.  
So that means maybe six hours of actual sleep tonight, if we're lucky, then less than an hour before our flight leaves in the morning, five or six hours flying time, and no, we're not joining the 'mile high' club, either, so that puts us to three in the afternoon local time, Daniel! We're going to be lucky to have two hours before we're married then."  
"Wow, Betty. You just wasted enough time figuring all that out that we could have practically had sex just while you were describing it!"  
She laughed, raising her eyebrows, "First of all, I'm sure you realize talking about speed and sex is NOT a major turn on for a girl. But, yes, I'm serious, Daniel. We can just…"  
"I know. Cuddle. Sure, Betty. It's fine. I'm not an animal. I can…wait. Until we're married, fiancé." He smiled, hugging her. "But, just for the record, I don't think the 'universe' is out to keep us from having sex.  
That's just silly. But since you took all the time to figure out the hours left till we're man and wife, I guess you're kind of anxious to get married, too, huh?"  
"Maybe. I guess I'm a little nervous, you know? I just don't want anything to go wrong."  
"Nothing is going to keep us from getting married, Betty. Like you said, it's going to be here before we know it. So, let's try and get some sleep."  
"Are you okay?"  
"Sure. I'm fine. Just don't flash me or anything. Or do any strip teases. Or get up and walk around naked. Or look at me too long, or kiss me, or…well, just be quiet and go to sleep, Betty. I'll be okay."  
She nodded, and laid her head back down on his chest. "Is this alright?"  
"Fine. Not quite so close, though." He smirked.  
"Do you want me to go in the other room?" She turned around to give him a look.  
"No! Of course not. I can sleep in the same bed with you, without having sex. Probably. I mean, I guess I kind of have to, now."  
He squeezed her and kissed the top of her head, "Good night, fiancé. I love you. I can't wait to marry you."  
"Good night, fiancé. I love you, too. And, Daniel?"  
"Yeah, Betty?"  
"I can't wait to marry you, either." She kissed him on the cheek.  
The next morning arrived and Betty woke up first, smiling at her sexy fiancé. She liked calling him that, too. But, as she looked out at the early morning sun it really dawned on her that before the sun set, he would be her sexy husband!  
She suddenly found herself wishing she hadn't told him she wanted to wait. What was she thinking? Hadn't they waited enough all these years? She wanted to jump him right now. He looked so amazing. His gorgeous, well, everything. So, she gave him a 'wake up call' to remember.  
As soon as he could speak again, he whispered, "Nice way to break your own rules, Betty. NOT that I'm complaining. But remember what you said about not rushing? I'm afraid you were so nice to me, you didn't leave me much time to pay you back."  
"I guess you'll just have to get creative on the plane. Is that still considered the 'mile high club'?"  
He nodded, kissing her, contentedly. "Oh, yeah. If not, it should be. Great idea, by the way, sweetie."  
"Well, I wouldn't want you nervous on our big day."  
"Let's hurry and get dressed and all I can say is I'm so glad I have a private plane and believe me, you will be, too. I love you, babe."  
The happy couple arrived in Toronto airport and was driven to their hotel. By this time, they were both getting very anxious to 'tie the knot.'  
Daniel's phone went off. "Hey, Daniel. It's Becks. I'm here. I made it! But I seriously don't want to hurt DJ's feelings. I don't mind being the best man's assistant or something. I can just be a groomsman. Just let me know what I can do to help."  
"Oh my God, get me some damn condoms, please! We got some in stupid Wichita and they didn't work!"  
Becks burst out laughing, "Are you serious? Somebody sounds frustrated. What happened to you? Traveling unprepared? Wow, it really MUST be time for you to get married, dude! Daniel Meade without condoms. What is the world coming to?"  
"Funny, Becks. Just make sure you get some to our room tonight, okay?"  
"Okay, no worries, bro. I've got you covered. Hell, I probably have fifty or sixty in my suitcase right now. Is that enough? To at least get you started on the wedding night?" he teased.  
"Yeah. Hopefully. Thanks. Hey, what the hell are you doing with that many in your luggage? Were you going to hit on every girl in Samoa or something? I bet customs had fun."  
"Well, yeah. It's an island! I didn't know how well stocked they were once I got there. Hey, don't give me shit. Unlike you, I at least know how to pack properly with my priorities straight. Anything else you need?"  
Well, since we had like NO time to shop for one, my sister is bringing a ring she found that Betty liked on the picture she sent, and Justin claims he's got Betty's dress taken care of as well as our tuxes. I guess just go talk to them and see what else is going on. I'm really glad you could make it. I think DJ's fine. He's just happy to be in the wedding."  
"No, seriously. I'll tell you what, Daniel. The day I get hitched, you can be my best man, okay?"  
"Yeah, I know you think that day will never come, but I don't. So, if you're sure, I'll tell DJ, then. I really appreciate it. I'm really glad you made it, Becks! No French kissing my wife, though, is that clear?  
You try and stick your tongue down her throat and I swear, I'll make sure you can't enjoy yourself at the reception. And I'm afraid there aren't going to be a lot of spare bridesmaids for you to hit on, so you're going to have to go find locals, sorry. Unless you're into Alexis. Betty's sister is married."  
"Hey, Alexis is hot. I'm up for it. I don't know though, I've got no game with her, since she actually taught me a lot of the lines I use when she was Alex, so…how's your mom looking these days?"  
"Becks!"  
"Daniel, come on, you know I'm kidding! I'll see you. And congratulations. Betty, huh? Seriously?"  
"Yeah, shut up. You'll see. Thanks, man. I'll see you soon."  
Betty rolled her eyes, "Aww…Daniel! Really, I can't French kiss Becks? That's the only reason I agreed to marry you, so I could kiss your best friend."  
"Right, Betty. You're just horny because you won't have sex with me until after we're married. You're trying to pretend you're a Catholic school girl or something. Which, come to think of it, sounds kind of hot, too. Okay. Eyes on the prize, I can do this. Hey, Alexis, DJ! Bonjour!"  
"Hello, Daniel, Bet-ty! I'm so happy for you both!" He hugged Betty and kissed her on both cheeks.  
"No silly string during the ceremony, DJ!" She teased.  
"Of course not! Je suis desolee, Betty. I was a stupid child when I did that. Ooh la la! Tu est tres joli, maintenant, Betty! My uncle Daniel is a very lucky man."  
"Thank you, DJ."  
Daniel gave him a hug. "Listen, DJ. I just talked to Becks. He made it here. But, he's on um…groomsmen special assignments for me. He and I talked about it and I can still be his best man.  
But, I really would like for you to be mine, if you're still up for the job. All you have to do is get the ring from your mom and make sure not to lose it. Just hand it to me during the ceremony. And basically stand next to me to make sure I don't freak out or run away, or faint or anything too stupid. Think you want the job?"  
"Of course, Daniel! I am honored! That is nice of your friend Becks to let me do this, even though he flew so far to be here."  
Alexis hugged them both, "Well, listen, men, Justin has your tuxes ready. Betty, you and I have a little clothes fitting to do of our own. None of us has much time. It's less than two hours before you two get hitched.  
By the way, DJ, here's the wedding ring. And here's the engagement ring. Betty, you might want to try it on first to make sure it fits. Daniel, I'll let you do the honors. What the heck did you propose to her with, anyway a Cracker Jack ring?"  
"Nothing. It's supposed to be eloping, so it's like spontaneous, you know? Thanks, sis. Okay. So, maybe you'll let me do this right, now, Betty." He got down on one knee and put the ring on her finger, "Will you still marry me? In two hours?"  
She looked at the ring, and nodded, putting her hand up to her mouth. "I will, Daniel. This is beautiful!"  
Hilda, Claire, and Ignacio came sneaking up the stairs in time to see Daniel 'propose' on the hotel stairs.  
Claire hugged them both, and whispered to Daniel, "Thank god, you finally got it right, Daniel. I know you two are going to be very happy now that you have finally figured out how much you love each other. I'm so happy for you, darling!"  
"Betty, dear, welcome to the family, almost! I'm so thrilled Daniel finally figured out how much he is in love with you."  
"Oh, my God! Betty! This is so romantic! I'm so happy for you, mami!" Hilda hugged her sister.  
Betty smiled and whispered, "Please don't call me that, Hilda!"  
Hilda laughed, rolling her eyes, "It's fine, Betty. You'll be okay, no matter what happens. You two are gonna be so happy! I've seen how you both look at each other all these years. Oh, congratulations, both of you!"  
She kissed Daniel on the cheek and hugged him. "Daniel, I think my son is more excited about being your nephew than I've ever seen him!"  
"Yeah, well, he knows he definitely has a job at Mode, if he wants it. He's terrific! Even Wilhelmina appreciated his talent."  
"Speaking of which, what is this I hear about you guys seeking revenge on the bit…witch?"  
"You'll see. It will be part of the entertainment for later, I promise. You're going to really enjoy it. We all will. Especially Daniel."  
"Okay, Betty. Whatever. Come on, We've got a few pretty good surprises for you, too, sweetie!"  
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Chapter 20: Chapter 20  
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Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 20  
Disclaimer: I own not; therefore sueth not, I prithee!  
So this is at least the start to the wedding. Mostly fluffy, some funny (hopefully)moments here. The next/final chapter (the reception) includes a 'wrap-up'/and the whereabouts of our intrepid trio lost in the forest! LOL! Muhaaha, love that laugh for 'evil Betty', thanks, tammathah!  
Claire, Hilda, and Alexis all led Betty into a dressing area, and when she rounded the corner, she heard a familiar voice,  
"Well, bless me, there she is, the future Mrs. Daniel Meade! I should have known this day would come!"  
"CHRISTINA! Oh my God! I'm so happy to see you! I figured when I left the message and I didn't hear back from you that there was no way you could get here in time. How DID you get a flight out so fast, anyway?"  
Alexis smiled, as Christina pointed to her, "Well, your future sister-in-law there called and offered to pick up a hitchhiker and I figured I'd let bygones be bygones if it meant I could be here on your big day, Betty.  
I wouldn't miss it for the world! And I've got another surprise fer ya, as well. Sorry, but this counts as me weddin' gift. You get what you get when you elope! Remember when we were in London a few months ago and you mentioned one of the designs you liked of mine?"  
"Yes?"  
"Well, I brought it with just in case, since it happens to be white, I figured you might be in need of one of these things!  
So, how is daddy Meade taking the news? I mean, other than to 'make an honest woman of you'. Kudos to him for that, at least, I suppose."  
"Well, he CLAIMS it wouldn't matter if I was or not, but I can't help but have some doubts, I guess. You know what, though? I don't even care, because I finally realized I love him and he loves me, and we've waited long enough."  
Christina nodded, "Well, knowin Daniel either pregnancy or maybe extreme jealousy would be the only two things I can think of that would cause him to end his big bachelor party life. Of course, he's been in love with you for some time, now, so…there's that, too!"  
Betty laughed, "That's exactly what I told him! That his whole life was one big bachelor party. God, I've missed you, Christina!" She hugged her friend.  
"All right, luv. I know you're probably hormonal, but we don't have much time, so let's get you into this and see where I need to alter it."  
After a 'war of wills' between Hilda and Claire, everything to do with the reception was off limits to the Meade matriarch and accordingly, Hilda was banished from inflicting her own unique and somewhat questionable 'style' on the wedding ceremony itself. Justin, Ignacio, and Bobby tried to play peacemaker between the two strong-willed women all day.  
The wedding was outside, in front of the falls, as Betty had requested, before sunset. To accommodate extra time for fittings, and the still missing official, the time was pushed back to five forty-five.  
Daniel was pacing like a caged tiger, running his hand through his hair. The minister arrived. "He's here!" Claire informed them.  
"Finally! Where the HELL has he been? Doesn't he know some of us want to get laid? I mean, married!"  
Becks smirked, patting Daniel on the back, "Take it easy, man! The guy probably doesn't understand if he's a priest or something. Are you still sure you're in love with HER? Betty? Little mousy chick that was your secretary before, right? Man, I guess love really is blind!"  
Daniel just shook his head. "Shut up. Hey, did you get a chance to do that big favor for me? You know-the wedding night present?"  
"Delivered to your suite! The Grande Niagara Suite. All fifty-five of them."  
"Great! Thanks, man. That should be enough, hopefully! Wait, Becks, did you say the The Grande Niagara Suite?"  
"Yeah. Biggest damn suite here, so I knew it had to be yours, right?"  
"You didn't bother to ask the name?"  
"Of course I did, they said it was Mr. and Mrs. Meade's suite."  
"No, they probably said it fast or something or you didn't listen. Betty and I are in the two-level loft suite!"  
"Really? They did say Meade. I'm sure. So, whose suite is it? Your sister's?"  
"NO, Becks. I think that was my mom's!"  
"Oops! Sorry. Well, maybe she hasn't been in there yet."  
"No, of course not. Why would she fly in from New York, organize a wedding and then dare to think she could go freshen up in her hotel room? Shit! Becks!"  
"Don't panic, Daniel. She's your mother. She knows you're not going to just hold hands on your wedding night. So, let's be adult about this. I'll go talk to her and explain to her that she has something her son and daughter-in-law need.  
Although, honestly, it kind of sounds like you two are already screwed, pardon the expression, thanks to that Amanda chick. You might as well start picking out baby names and going to the breathing classes now.  
I don't even know why you're bothering with the condoms at this point. I mean, isn't that why the rush?"  
"NO! God, I hate that everybody thinks that. I'm sure, she probably even has her doubts, but I love Betty, and she loves me. We want to start our lives together as soon as possible.  
We already wasted so much time. We don't want to wait one more minute, now that we know how we feel about each other.  
Plus, we don't want it to be some three ring media circus like my dad's nightmare almost wedding to Satan. I honestly don't give a damn if she's pregnant or not.  
I wouldn't mind if she were. I'd love it, in fact. But, as long as she marries me today, we can worry about that other stuff as it happens."  
"Aww…somebody's in love!" he teased.  
"Shut up and go tell my mother she has my condoms!"  
"Wow, and I thought my family was messed up. That just did NOT sound good, Daniel! Okay, fine. Too bad it wasn't Alexis's room. She is looking really good." He winked.  
Daniel rolled his eyes, "You're a dog! GO!"  
"You say that like it's a bad thing!"  
Becks went to try and find Claire and as delicately as possible explain the minor mix-up.  
The current only Mrs. Meade, however, proved impossible for him to track down, so he found a waitress and gave her a note for Claire.  
Finally, everything appeared to be back on schedule with the ceremony. Claire knew she was a micro-manager, like her soon to be daughter-in-law. Perhaps one reason they had always gotten along so well.  
A string quartet began playing Bach's 'Air on a G String'. Becks and DJ both smiled at one another as they looked at Daniel tense up, in anticipation to see his bride walking down the aisle.  
Unfortunately, just as Betty had taken her father's arm and started to make her procession, the threatening skies literally opened up. Everything started flying around with the wind that ensued and torrential rain began falling.  
Betty, Ignacio and the portion of the bridal party that had yet to 'make their entrance' headed in one direction for shelter, under a canopy and Daniel and his male entourage headed for a large overhang to seek refuge from the sudden downpour.  
Daniel asked Becks for his cell phone and called Hilda's number, knowing the woman was NEVER without her phone. He smiled, seeing her retrieve it from her cleavage.  
"Hey. This is the groom. How's Betty doing? Is she okay? She's not taking this as some kind of sign not to do this or something, is she, Hilda?"  
"No, she's fine. She's giggling, saying it figures, and it was her fault for thinking she could have a rain free outdoor ceremony. Do you want to talk to your little love bunny, Daniel?"  
"Love bunny? I don't call her that, Hilda. Yeah, put her on, please. Thanks."  
"Hi, sweetie. Sorry about the rain and wind."  
"It's okay, Daniel. You didn't make it rain. Besides, as I recall, a thunderstorm was sort of a nice thing for us back in Kansas. Do you think we should abort the outside and take this to the back-up site inside? Or wait it out?"  
"I'm willing to wait a little longer to give my love bunny what she wants. You said you wanted an outside wedding in front of the waterfall, at sunset.  
We've still got at least twenty minutes or so till it starts getting dark, even without the clouds. So, I can wait. I've waited my whole life for you, Betty. I can hold out for twenty more minutes."  
"Love bunny?" He could tell she was making a face.  
He laughed, "Hilda's thing. Not mine. Just trying it out."  
"Hmmm…stick to honey or sweetie. Babe is okay, but given our situation, maybe not bab-y until we know the outcome of that."  
"Works for me. How about me? What pet names other than 'oh, my God, Daniel' are you going to call me?" he grinned.  
She blushed, "Daniel!  
"Oh, is my mom there with you, by the way?"  
"I think so. Hang on. Did you need to talk to her?"  
"Not really. Just make sure she got the message from Becks that she has our condoms." He smirked. He loved messing with Betty. She was so damn cute when she got all flustered. But he also knew when to retreat.  
"Bye, sweetie! See you at the altar soon if this blows over or in forty-five inside if it doesn't. Deal?"  
"Deal, Daniel. But, I'm NOT going to ask your mom about…that! Why did Becks send them to your mother? Is she going to inspect them for us to make sure these aren't defective or something?"  
He laughed, "No. Just a mix-up in the rooms. I guess he forgot you're not the only Mrs. Meade."  
She giggled, "Oh, that's right. Okay, um…love monkey. Oh, no, that definitely doesn't work, does it?"  
He shook his head, "No. Please don't EVER call me that again, Betty. I love you, you dork."  
"I love you, too, you high-fiving goofball!" She grinned.  
Betty saw Claire approaching, looking somewhat disconcerted over the weather. Not to mention, a helicopter was circling nearby, waiting out the storm, but making things even windier if that was possible.  
Betty crooked her finger towards the elder woman. She was seriously going to add Becks (and Daniel) to her list right now for making her do uncomfortable things, because apparently, between the two of them, the current reigning playboy and his soon to be married player buddy suddenly didn't seem to be capable of procuring condoms between the two of them. This was getting ridiculous, Betty thought. Send a man to do a woman's job!  
When Betty whispered to Claire what had happened, she burst out laughing and hugged Betty. "Thank you, dear! You've made my day.  
I was somewhat frazzled what with the inclement weather and other minor delays, but I see you here, the bride to be, with your usual sweet, happy demeanor, calm as can be, waiting patiently for the rain to clear and I know for certain my son is going to be deliriously happy as your husband!"  
She hugged her again, and under her breath said, "I'll make certain that your wedding needs are delivered to the right room immediately, dear. Although, you may not actually need them.  
By the way, it looks as if your celebrity guest has arrived to make his grand entrance, Betty. Is…Daniel going to survive his jealousy?"  
"I think so. Mike IS the one who helped Daniel and I see how much we were taking each other for granted. Besides, I asked him to sing a special song, and he's got my gift to Daniel for the reception."  
"I see. Well, I'll go welcome him."  
Mike Hilberg made a very discreet entrance to the wedding, given his necessary method of transportation from the Toronto airport, and superstar status. But since this was such a small, intimate gathering of friends and family of the couple, he felt honored and humbled to have been included.  
He could see the somewhat guarded look Daniel was giving him, which simply made the man smile all the bigger, knowing he had played a part in helping the guy get his head out of his rear end, finally, to be with the woman he clearly loved madly.  
Miraculously, as soon as the wind had died down from Mike's helicopter, the rain also seemed to subside, as if it, too 'recognized' who was there.  
Betty smiled at Mike and gave him a thumbs up, then winked at Daniel, who was suddenly overcome as he had finally seen her from the end of the aisle.  
He couldn't take his eyes off her. She looked more beautiful than even he had imagined. The dress was white satin, sleeveless, with a rather daring for Betty, but still tasteful square neckline, and a fitted waist that gathered slightly on one side and flowed easily around her at the bottom.  
She wore a lovely long lace veil that contrasted with her silky black locks, and thankfully, didn't cover any part of her beautiful face.  
The best part of her whole ensemble to Daniel, though, was that smile. He honestly couldn't remember out of all her many smiles over the years ever seeing her smile bigger and more beautifully than she did as their eyes met.  
He knew he looked like a total 'goofball', but he felt like high-fiving every one there right now. Even stupid Big ding-a-ling Mike, who was actually singing at Daniel and Betty's wedding. He SANG, too? Of course, he did! And very well, naturally.  
But Daniel didn't even mind. The guy was singing one of Betty's favorite songs, so that's all that mattered to Daniel right now. He knew right then, he would do anything to make her happy for the rest of his life.  
Mike simply played a ukulele he had brought with him and sang Israel Kamakawiwo'Ole's version of 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow'.  
And I'll be damned if the guy hadn't evidently brought his own special effects team, because as the sun set over the falls, there clearly was a beautiful rainbow.  
Daniel couldn't help but smile as he heard Becks say, not quite to himself, "Damn! THAT'S Betty?"  
He grinned from ear to ear, thinking he didn't really care what else was going on, as long as his Betty kept walking towards him, and only had eyes for him!  
________________________________________  
Chapter 21: Chapter 21  
________________________________________  
Dorothy Isn't Here  
Chapter 21  
Disclaimer: Don't own/don't sue! You know the drill!  
A/N: It's with a slightly heavy heart that I post the last chapter to this little fairy tale and homage to one of my favorite movies of all time. I also saw Wicked when I lived in Chicago and loved it as much as Betty. When I thought of doing this story something about the whole concept of Daniel and Betty and not recognizing what you have right in front of you until you take a long journey really clicked.  
Then Mike was somehow born out of an amalgam of various stars and I think I've got a secret crush on Mr. Wizard (only if Daniel's taken). Messing with Marc, Amanda, and Willi was just icing on Daniel and Betty's wedding cake. I still haven't completely decided who's who in my Oz metaphor. I'll let you decide for yourself. Enjoy!  
The wedding ceremony was simple and beautiful. Daniel looked around and saw his family and Betty's watching them, and he turned to DJ, who handed him the wedding band Alexis had gotten for him.  
He smiled at the young man, wondering if he would be finally getting to actually realize his dream of being a father that he had held close to his heart ever since thinking DJ was his son.  
He placed the ring on Betty's finger, and couldn't help but grinning from ear-to-ear as he held her hands in his.  
"This may have gone incredibly fast in some ways, but to everybody here who knows us and how long it's taken us to get to this point, I'm sure they're wondering what took us so long.  
Betty, I love you more than I thought I could ever love anyone. I think you know that. At least I hope you do. You're the most amazing woman I've ever known.  
You manage to be sweet, and kind, and encouraging, and yet you're also somehow incredibly strong and smart and you always make me smile the minute you walk into the room. You always have, since the day I met you.  
It took our journey to Oz to meet our very own movie star wizard to help us see what was right in front of us all along.  
So if there's no place like home, let me just say, any place I'm with you is home, Betty. Loving you feels like home. I can't imagine my life without you and I never want to."  
Betty placed the ring her father had given her on Daniel's finger. "Daniel, I can't believe I'm standing here with you. You've been the man in my life for so long now and you've been a wonderful friend that I knew I could always depend on no matter what. I don't know what's ahead for us, but I love you, too, so that's really all that matters.  
You're the sweetest, most incredible man I've ever known. You make me feel special and loved and like a princess. Meeting you has been an incredible adventure and I can't wait to be your wife, Daniel."  
After the minister pronounced them man and wife, they kissed and kissed. A slightly inebriated Hilda shouted, "Geez, you two, save some for tonight! Let's get to celebrating!"  
Ignacio rolled his eyes, and Bobby chuckled at his wife. But everyone else started laughing when they realized the happy couple still hadn't stopped kissing yet. Christina, who had also had a few drinks in early celebration, yelled, "Somebody get a hose!"  
Finally, Betty pulled away, "Huh?" and blushed at everyone staring at them, waiting.  
Mike stood up and clapped, so everyone else did the same, whistling and cheering for them. When they walked back down the path, Daniel shook Mike's hand, "Thanks for everything, Mike. For showing me how lucky I was all along."  
The star grinned and pulled Betty away, "So, where's my kiss? I don't think I'm gonna top that one, though. Man, Daniel, you put me to shame! I think I might try ta imitate that kiss in my next movie and dedicate it to you two!"  
Betty kissed him very briefly, "Sorry, Mike. You may have been serious competition for most women and you're a fantastic guy, but for me, it's always been Daniel. Like he said, thank you for helping us both see that. I hope you find someone else, too. I'm sure you will."  
"Thank ya, Betty."  
Hilda was directing everyone to the hotel where the reception was already in full swing. The cake was cut, Daniel threw Betty's garter at Becks, hitting him in the face with it. When he caught it, he twirled it around his finger and cocked one eyebrow at Alexis.  
She ignored him and walked over to introduce herself to 'Big Mike'. "Howdy, there, big fella! Finally, somebody my size."  
DJ, Austin, and Justin were looking around the room. "Is there anybody here under thirty, other than Aunt Betty?" Justin complained.  
DJ shrugged, "I see a waitress who looks very nice. I think I'll see if she speaks French. This is Canada, after all. Au revoir! Bon chance!"  
Justin looked at Austin and rolled his eyes, "Oh my God, if he is anything like Daniel used to be, forget about it!"  
Hilda was trying to play hostess and make sure everyone was having a good time. The cake was cut, with Betty shoving it playfully in Daniel's face, then helping him get it off.  
After a few hours, when the crowd was all fairly tipsy, Betty tore herself away from her groom and spoke to Mike for a moment. He grinned and nodded, then gave a signal to one of his 'crew' who was in a booth behind the curtain. Betty asked for a microphone.  
"Okay, Daniel, this is our wedding day and even though we officially eloped, it still feels like the most amazing wedding to me, because our family and dearest friends are here to celebrate it with us.  
However, there are three people who have helped us come together in a lot of ways over the years that sadly, were unable to be here tonight.  
So, as my wedding present to you, 'love monkey', here they are, direct from the home where we first uh discovered just how much we loved each other, our dear, sweet friends, Marc, Amanda, and the Wicked Witch of the East side herself, Miss Wilhelmina Slater! Hey, guys! Can you hear me?"  
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? Hello? What is going on? Oh, MARC! Where is the video for this thing? I see. Mr. Hilberg? I'm so sorry we missed you.  
I heard from your uh charming…publicist that you had to leave unexpectedly. I do hope we can still come to some arrangement and find an opening in your schedule soon."  
Betty handed Mike the microphone and he stepped in front of the monitor so Marc, Willi, and Amanda could all see him. Amanda gasped when she saw him, her eyes getting huge, "Oh, my God, I think I'm in love!"  
He ignored her, "Miss Slater, I think there's been some misunderstanding. I already did the cover shot for Daniel and Betty Meade's new magazine, "The Way Home".  
I'll allow you to use a still shot from my new movie for your next month's issue."  
Betty shook her head, and turned to Mike, "No, Mike, Daniel and I couldn't think of screwing over our good friends at Mode. They are so kind and sweet and have always wished only the best for us.  
I'll tell you what, Wilhelmina. If you agree to give Daniel credit for it, we'll allow you to use the shot of Mike, with his permission of course, so you don't have to explain to Mode's readers and Mike's millions of fans why instead of him, you have a shot of you three, looking a bit worse for wear, breaking into his cabin, trying to go behind his publicist's back to talk him into doing the shot that you screwed up in the first place."  
Wilhelmina took a breath, and straightened her jacket, which looked like it had been through, well, a forest, trying to appear unruffled. "Fine, Betty. Agreed. Now, what was this about Daniel and Betty Meade? Did you two really get married?"  
Betty flashed the ring, grinning. "Well, of course we did. That IS what you and Marc all told the media we were doing, right, MARC?"  
Wilhelmina narrowed her eyes, "That's what you said, right, MARC?"  
Marc grinned pathetically, cowering, "Well, I didn't really know for SURE they were getting married. But, wait, you REALLY did? Seriously?"  
Amanda blinked, "Wait, Betty, listen, I have something I need to tell you. Did you ever get my message I tried to leave you? I sort of played a really silly prank on you. I was only trying to cheer you up and thought it would give you a huge laugh!" She squinted uncomfortably.  
"If you mean about the diet pills, yeah, thanks Amanda, it worked like a charm. Best idea yet! I mean I am married, right? No harm, no foul. Except, I should tell you, I knew about it all along and did the same thing to you, so you should probably be really careful about not sleeping around."  
"WHAT? Betty you didn't. You wouldn't! Would she? CRAP! OH MY GOD!"  
"You guys can watch us party here, if you want for a while. I'm not sure when Mike's helicopter will be able to come pick you up like his publicist promised. There is a guide but he has been really busy with his new baby. So, hunker down and make the best of the cabin. I know Daniel and I sure had fun when we were there. Bye, guys! Toodles!"  
"NO! WAIT, BETTY! Don't leave us here!"  
"Oh, screw it, Marc, we don't need them. I'll get back out of here the same way we got here. Stop being such a baby! Stand up and be a man. OR at least pretend you're a man."  
"Willi, I'm scared. What if there are snakes here?"  
Daniel grinned and came over to the mic, hugging and kissing Betty, then he said, quietly, "Oh, yeah. He's right, guys. There are thirty-eight different varieties of snakes in Kansas."  
He kissed Betty again, more intensely this time, then turned over his shoulder as he led her away to their loft for the night, "But only six of them are poisonous. Have fun there, we sure did!"  
As they walked past Mike, Betty hugged him, "Thanks for doing this, Mike! How did you get all the video monitors and stuff set up so soon, anyway?"  
He shrugged, "Oh, the place was wired a long time ago. All I had to do was hit a remote from my phone."  
Daniel looked at Betty meaningfully, "Uh, so, anything that goes on there is basically recorded on video?"  
He nodded, "Yeah, sure. I was told by my insurance company I could deduct the cost of it since I have some fairly valuable stuff out there and it's so deserted.  
I just tended not to worry too much, thinking who the hell was willing to hike all the way ten miles in and ten miles back out just to steal some stuff, you know, but…why do you two look so weird? Oh, is this about your little sex marathon? Yeah, no worries. I didn't watch, well, I mean not once I saw what was going on, anyway. I burned a copy and sent it to your room so you could keep it you know, discreet."  
They both sighed in relief, "Thank God! Thanks, so much. That could have been really embarrassing!"  
"Sure. I know how bad media can be, believe me! Congratulations, you two, now go, have fun on your honeymoon! I'll keep the party going here! Looks like your sister Hilda is starting a Conga line, Betty. I love those! Oh, and hey, Daniel, Alexis is pretty awesome!"  
"Yeah. She is. Well, have fun! Thanks for everything. The song was really nice. I know that's one of Betty's favorites. Goodbye!"  
"Bye!" He went to find Alexis in the Conga line.  
Daniel intertwined his hand with Betty's and they grinned at each other, walking to their room. Once they got there, Betty disappeared for a moment into the bathroom and re-appeared wearing a white negligee that left little to the imagination.  
Daniel had the 'faux' champagne in his hand and literally popped the cork when he saw her, "Wow! Get over here, wife. We are going to have so much fun on the honeymoon."  
She giggled and walked to him, "I like that. Wife. I could get used to that."  
"Yeah, but let's talk about that 'love monkey' business, Betty. That was embarrassing."  
"Sorry, Daniel. I think the three amigos were so freaked out about their own situation nobody even noticed. Did you see Amanda's face? I guess as long as I'm not in person I'm not a completely terrible liar after all. I think she really believed me."  
"Yeah, I think she did. I almost believed you myself for a second, there. So, where the hell are all the condoms? And our own personal porn video? I don't see either one, do you?"  
"I have the condoms, Daniel."  
"Okay. Can I have some, please? Or are you going to make me do tricks for them or something?"  
"No, I just wondered if we really needed them."  
"You do realize those diet pills don't have any contraceptive side effects, Betty?"  
"I know, but if we're starting our own magazine, we will be our own bosses and that means you're my boss, well, like you always have been, but I'm also your boss. Either way, it seems like it might not be that big a deal if I had to use some maternity leave. I saw how much you miss DJ. I think I'd really like to have a baby with you, Daniel. I think I'm ready, so…"  
He grinned and twirled her around, "You're not just saying this because you think it's what I want, Betty?" he said as he kissed her and put her down.  
"No, Daniel. Today has shown me how happy you make me. I've been telling myself I didn't want to be pregnant, but the more I thought about it, the less scary it seemed and the more excited I started to get about it."  
"Okay, then, let's see if we can make a baby."  
"We probably already did, you know."  
He shrugged, "That's okay. Practice makes perfect."  
"Yeah, I think I know one thing you're probably way better at than Mike." She kissed him, and led him to the bed.  
"Really? Thanks. That's pretty flattering considering you've seen him up close and all. Hey, where the hell is that video he said he had sent here, anyway?" He looked around.  
She shook her head, but pulled his tie off and started unbuttoning his shirt as she jumped on the bed. "Who cares? We'll watch it some other time. Or not. I'd rather have the live show, Daniel."  
He got undressed and kissed her, "I'll say. Love monkey's here to rock your world, baby."  
A few hours later, Claire went to her room, to unwind and relax. She got undressed, got in the tub and soaked for a while. Then as she got dressed for bed, she saw a DVD with Mike's name on it.  
She shrugged, "Hmm…as well as he and Alexis were getting along tonight, maybe I should see what all the fuss is about. I don't really remember seeing too many of his movies to be honest. I suppose action films have their merit, too. They can be exciting." She went to put in the DVD and her eyes popped, “Oh, MY!”


End file.
